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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Please help with make up obsession

21 replies

citygirl1961 · 16/02/2019 16:03

I hope someone can advise me. This problem is now bugging me and I want it sorted.

I have an unhealthy obsession with make up, Boots is the main store I visit . I don't own a lot of products but I obsess about what is right for me, mainly foundation. I flit between Clinique and Boots No7 brands. I worry about Clinique being too expensive and am I wasting my money, yet I like it and feel good wearing it and it does last. However, No7 is OK too and no one seems to know the difference of what I use.

Its got to the stage where I am visiting the beauty counters in Boots almost daily and the assisttants know me and they look at me as if they are thinking 'She's here again'. One day a girl on the No7 counter asked me if I am having problems finding suitable foundations as I go in a lot. I now feel embarrassed about it.

I collect more samples than I do products, especially of foundation. I have been colour matched by No7 but still wonder if the shade is right for me and keep checking different ones.

Its also all I want to talk about to family and friends and colleagues. I know its natural for a woman to want to talk about make up but not when its the only subject.

I visit beauty blogs and websites a lot and You Tube videos, plus I am in a Facebook beauty group and go by what people recommend, even though it may not be right for me.

How do I control this? Also do I give in a buy the more quality Clinique seeing as I only use a few products or stick to No7 which is really just as good.

I would be grateful for any advice.

OP posts:

FlibbertyGiblets · 16/02/2019 16:20

You need to look at the sky at night a bit. Feel grass or sand between your toes. Hug a tree or at least give it a pat.
These things don't care if your foundation is perfect and nor should you.

What are you avoiding by distracting yourself daily, hourly even, by obsessing about your appearance?

MrsChollySawcutt · 16/02/2019 16:26

I'm confused are you asking for help to find the right foundation or asking for help because you feel you are obsessing over your foundation too much?

Your OP does sounds like you are spending a lot of time every day looking at the same shelves in Boots and perhaps displaying some disordered thinking?

What is it that you feel finding the perfect foundation will bring to your life? If buying a £20 bottle of Clinique will make you happy and stop you popping into Boots every day then buy it. But I don't think it will help.

LovingLola · 16/02/2019 16:33

Do you usually obsess over things?

jalopy · 16/02/2019 16:39

Agree with above posters. Buying the expensive foundation won't make you feel happier or reassured.

Perhaps there are other issues in your life that are fuelling this behaviour. Are you experiencing anxiety or stress?

It might be worth seeking professional help if you feel that this problem is impacting your daily life.

BusterGonad · 16/02/2019 17:13

Oh Op, I get like you about certain lipsticks or other beauty products. But I google reviews until I've literally read everyone about 5 times, I take screen shots of things, look at them in the shops a few times, pick them up, think about buying them.....then about 2 weeks later I buy it and move in to the next thing!!! Sometimes I can go months without getting obsessed then suddenly I'll want something again. Usually when I'm stressed, anxious or just feeling down right dowdy and old!
Buy the Clinique and get it over with. Enjoy the experience, make the most of it and then hopefully you can move on. I did this with Estée Lauder and now barely use it!!! but at least I'm not wasting my time obsessing over it anymore and tbh it covers blemishes really well!

BlueMerchant · 16/02/2019 17:21

Sadly I don't believe you will ever find your perfect foundation. I believe if by some miracle you did then you would become preoccupied with something else, shade of lipstick for example. I believe it sounds very much like you have some kind of OCD that you need to speak to a professional about.

thedevilinablackdress · 16/02/2019 18:42

Step away from the blogs, websites etc. The less you read about this stuff, the less you will care.

according · 16/02/2019 19:00

It sounds like you have issues that extend beyond foundations. I say this with a kind heart.

PersonaNonGarter · 16/02/2019 19:03

What else is going on in your life?

I think you know you are transferring anxiety from something else on to foundation.

You really do need to get to the beach or go for hill walk.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 16/02/2019 19:10

I think you need to go to your GP and not for a beach walk (though that might be lovely too). Visiting the Boots counter every day is not a sign that you need to focus more on Clinique, but that you might need some extra support about helping to focus your energy, especially if it's all you want to talk about.
Have you had issues with obsessional thinking before? Or a mental health diagnosis? It's so good that you've recognised this is an unhelpful pattern, you deserve to have more control over your thoughts and actions, and speaking from experience this is MUCH easier to do with professional and / or medication to support you.

Original poster

citygirl1961 · 16/02/2019 23:12

Thank you all for your replies. I do have anxiety and depression and take medication for it. I have had obsessive thoughts in the past but not quite as much as this. When I was younger I obsessed more about hair products and at one stage when I was married I obsessed over house plants.

I would like advise about which foundation to use but mostly about how to stop this obsession. I have seen therapists before about other issues, I could maybe think about seeing someone again about this.

Sometimes I feel my mind is going haywire. I just want to be able to enjoy make up but not obsess about it. I do have hobbies and other interests which do help but then I am still focused on the make up.

OP posts:

TipseyTorvey · 17/02/2019 08:10

You're not alone. There's a whole subreddit called makeup addiction full of people like you (and me sometimes). I've calmed myself down by signing up to birch box so that I get a treat once a month but can't buy anything but the basics in between. I think there's a reason the beauty industry is worth so much though, they know we're conditioned to think 'if I just looked a bit better, my life would be better, maybe that mascara would help'. I'm much worse when I'm stressed as I buy little things to cheer me up and make up at £10 per item is all I can afford. If I was loaded it was be clothes I didn't need!

Bluesheep8 · 17/02/2019 09:56

I get like this too. And I do it with clothes. Always thinking that the next purchase will make everything ok. I'm worse when I'm stressed or anxious though.

Bluesheep8 · 17/02/2019 10:03

Actually, yesterday I was on my way to meet family for lunch. I looked in the mirror in the car and thought I looked pale. I had make up with me but went and bought 2, yes 2 (?!) blushers. By a brand I've never even heard of (MUA). I'm also convinced since having it cut on Thurs, that my hair is too short. So I bought a hair product aswell. To be used when hair is wet so I couldn't even apply it there and then. I sound bonkers now I've written that down and thought about WHY I did it!

NigellasGuest · 17/02/2019 10:11

Just buy the Clinique, and hopefully move on? Throw out all the testers, magazine reviews, and bits you have hanging around, and stop googling about other foundations etc. Get used to wearing the Clinique and maybe check with people in real life, i.e., friends, not beauty counter people, who will hopefully reassure you and say it looks fine. NB. Fine is good. Don't expect them to say, "you are clearly wearing the most perfect possible foundation for you, congratulations on finding your holy grail!" Then assign the foundation part of your life to where it should be - part of your make up routine and that's it. NB. I've found what I think is my perfect foundation. Even so, if I look close up i can see things I could criticise, but that's normal, and no one else looks that closely at me.

NigellasGuest · 17/02/2019 10:15

PS All the above is easier said than done, and if you do achieve it, beware of your mind playing a trick and getting you to obsess over, e.g., the perfect mascara or something else. Go out with friends and enjoy yourself knowing your make up is as good as it's going to be, and try to move on to enjoying your life!

Bluesheep8 · 17/02/2019 10:24

And I didn't even put the blusher ON and I don't even know where it is now. I'm well aware that this is quite odd!

NigellasGuest · 17/02/2019 10:27

Bluesheep what is it about car mirrors? I often look in mine and look completely different!

Bluesheep8 · 17/02/2019 10:51

nigellas EXACTLY!! I'm sure I looked better than that when I left the house. And don't even get me started on the facial hair you can magically see in a car mirror!

EatToTheBeet · 17/02/2019 14:28

I think you should stop buying the Number 7 stuff and just buy Clinique foundation from now on.

First, it’s a false economy as you are buying more of the cheaper product to try and get one ‘as good’ as the more expensive one.

Second, you yourself can tell the difference. You think it’s better and you care that it’s better so buy the better one.

Thirdly, it’s the indecision that’s getting to you. All of the options. If you just stick to the Clinique forever then you shouldn’t need to think about it anymore. If someone brings out a new foundation then it doesn’t matter to you because you use Clinique.

Ellapaella · 17/02/2019 19:43

You're not alone.. it can be the same with clothes. I think about an item of clothing I want, it becomes an obsession and I just have to have it. Somehow I think it will make my life so much better if I have it. Then I buy it and either hardly wear it or move on to the next obsession almost immediately. I think a certain pair of boots or coat will change my life and solve all my wardrobe dilemmas and of course it doesn't.
I too have had periods of obsessive thinking in the past over other things that I've had therapy for which I've found helpful.

A recent health concern has dramatically changed my attitude almost overnight. I've had a wake up call and realised that there is so much more to life than looking perfect. But I totally get where you're coming from. It's not really about the make up or foundation. I would really recommend looking to get some therapy such as CBT to help with this.

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