Confused about ankle boots

[Elephantina]

Can I wear a smart pair of black suede ankle boots with petite skinny trousers?

I have chunky short legs with no ankles. I think I like how the combination looks, but I'm confused about how the trouser cuff ends about 1mm above the top of the boot, and there's also a tiny side split in the hem.

Does it matter, will people look at me and wonder what the fuck I'm wearing? I'm 46, can I just wear whatever I want and let people think I'm a bit, you know...quirky?

That sounds bang on trend to me!

You think?! I'm so out of touch. Actually, my DH - somewhat unbelievably - has been instrumental in convincing me lately that the way I dress is making me look bigger than I am. Think, oversize tops to disguise giant boobs and a spare tyre, long boots to cover thick cankles etc.

He persuaded me to try some different combinations and, as much as it pains me to admit it, he is right - I am short and fat, but I look perfectly presentable in hip length, closer fitting tops and skinnies and ankle boots. Better than being drowned in tent tops and making myself look shorter with knee and calf boots.

This has overflowed into my work attire and I'm surprised to find that the skinny trousers and Lipsy boots look, rather good. I'm just way out of date and didn't want to be committing a fashion faux pas...

Oversize anything always makes you look bigger. People see that you have big boobs and by wearing an oversize top you are visually extending that bigness on the parts of your body that aren't that big.

Agreed...its just taking some time to break the mindset, I can't bear anything feeling close fitting or that might show a bulge or two. But having caught sight of some inadvertent footage of myself (DH recently bought another video camera gadget) I actually look a lot smaller in more fitted clothes than I ever imagined I did.

So much so, that I had a cull of my wardrobe yesterday and binned everything baggy, long and loose, and I've just racked up a bill on my Next card buying some nice hip length tops (no more tunics or hanky hems), slim petite trousers and some more ankle boots. This is a revolution.

Sounds good to me. You feel awkward because it's a new look for you. Doesn't mean it doesn't look good.

You're right Enid, I see my reflection and think wow that looks nice - then I remember that stylish clothes only look good on other people, and actually others will look at me like I'm mad and trying too hard to be "on trend" when I'm just a greying, lumbering lard arse with a stupid gap between her boots and her trousers.

I'm a bit inclined to over think and self deprecate. I am taking confidence from the recent revelation from footage of me from the back riding a bike, and walking in a short jacket with skinny jeans - ok I'm 14 stone, I'm fat and I'm not in denial, but I look HALF the size I thought I looked from the back.

Call me paranoid, but I'm not convinced this is the look I'm going for - the hems aren't really snug enough, in my view.

What do you think, fine or middle-aged fashion calamity?

I think you have a good eye - I think it's more on-point to have a slightly shorter trouser. Just a tad. So maybe this is why it feels off to you? I think they're snug enough (a bit hard to say from photo). That said, fuck it. Wear it out and about and see how you feel, then you'll hone down your style.

I think it looks fine. It's slightly more on trend to have a shorter trouser that exposes the ankle bone but that look isn't bad or unfashionable.

Hmm well I'm no expert but I can't see any gap - and I think the point is you should be able to see a gap. And as you say, the hems are a bit loose so it looks like one kind of shape rather than a defined ankle then boot.

Personally I would keep the boots to wear with opaque tights & skirts or skinny trousers/jeans and wear shoes with those trousers.

Hmm, okay. I can't seem to get the right length or shape with "treggings", only leggings which I don't feel are professional enough, and which also short enough not to ruck up over the boot - I have bengaline treggings which are too long, and nice thick zip ponte leggings which are also too long.

Bugger, that means I still don't have anything to wear these boots with. I can't wear them with a dress with my elephant legs, they look ridiculous.

Aw don't be sad - I'm sure you don't have elephant legs anyway! Have you tried turning up the hem of the trousers by an inch so there is a visible gap and seeing how they look? If they look ok all you have to do is iron in the new crease and put a couple of stiches in each side...

I have to say, I really struggle with styling ankle boots. The only way I've ever made looser (ie not skinny) trousers look ok with them is if the boots are quite pointy with high heels.

Have you tried the boots on with black opaques and a skirt? Just to see how it looks - you might be surprised!

No, sadly the split makes them look weird turned up. I've dug out some nice loafers to wear with them instead, I can't wear heels so it has to be funky flats these days.

I now have a different problem with some black boots I ordered to go with jeans - they are a bit shorter, and the opening wider - so they look kinda weird with the jeans turned up, like they should be higher. I've got such incredibly short calves that getting that gap is almost impossible, I look like I've been chopped off at the knees. A longer, tighter ankle cuff from the boot looks better.

I wouldn’t care about the gap myself. I see the young ones out and about and realise it’s a look and I can wear it if I want, but I prefer trousers a bit longer because I’m cold. ;) If you like it own it. Try it out and see if you feel off or not.

I like a gap and I think it's the flash of bare skin that really makes it work. But in February - you have got to be kidding me. I'll be covering up for at least another month. I would wear them as they are for now op - they look fine - and maybe revisit in the spring.

I think you sound awesome OP. Totally my kind of person. And I'm betting you're neither as short, fat or odd as you see yourself. Another tip to see if you like how things look, don't take a still photo, take a short video clip while moving around. You get a more accurate reflection.

Aw fanks, I try not to be an embarrassment at least!

I played it safe and left for my hotel with my loafers, not the boots - the time for experimentation is not when I'm nervous about standing up to give multiple presentations. I'll prance about a bit more in front of the mirror first!

I am going to be chilly around the ankles though. In the meantime, if anyone is reading with a view on this - what's the etiquette (for want of a better word) for dressing lumps and bumps? I feel tremendously conspicuous with anything showing bulge, but owing to my chest anything that fits comfortably around the boobs is gigantic around my non-existent waist. But a size down looks verrrrry slightly snug across the chest and upper arms (I sound like a barn door), and whilst fitting slightly better on the waist and hips, may give the ghost of a glimpse of rolls.

DH thinks smaller is better, loose is more unflattering than a bulge. But what if its a bit close - wouldn't you go bigger?

I have a similar problem. I'm a little fatter than usual at the moment and have, to me, crossed the line where I find it hard to say fuck it about the visible bulges.

I'm playing around a bit with looser tops, half-tucked. There's a photo of me right now on the Parisiennes thread if you want to look. Not saying the look is a great success or anything, but you can tell my size. ;)

It's hard to find fitted tops that skim the bulges, everything is very skin tight and thin. I'll admit I rather go a bit too tight than that little bit bigger, that often just feels too big around the shoulders.

Years ago I heard a comedian on the radio point out that you can tell the problem by the camouflage - like middle-aged men who start wearing scarfs to hide their wrinklier necks, or (this was the 90s) long open blazers to look slimmer. All it does is show us very clearly what you think is a problem on your body, he pointed out. I think this is very true. I often see middle-aged women in looser tops, or empire cut, and I know this is because they don't like their midriff and think they're hiding it ... so I dunno. My point is if you're trying to camouflage it's not working, and if you just want to feel comfortable you may need to tweak your loose tops a bit.

Elephantina - can I recommend the Styled By Susue facebook group? I've learned so much from the Suzie and Sarah who are the experts, but also from all the lovely positive ladies who contrkibute & ask each other queations (and include photos) about how to dress/style things up, whatever your shape or size!
It may cost you though - I've never shopped so much! Although the good thing is that they recommend high street stores (mainly Warehouse, Oasis, Next, H&M, Zara, Primark. It's been a real eye-opener for me!

Thank you both...off to have a nose!