Silk midi dress - cocktail or black tie?

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I'm invited to a dinner at an embassy and the invitation says cocktail attire. The only vaguely appropriate dress I have is made of chiffon and reaches mid-calf. Is it too long? (And would it be appropriate or too short for a black tie dinner?)

I've been to several diplomatic day events due to a work project and have always felt out of place. Please help me get it right this time.

Cocktail attire isn't black attire so that sounds perfect .

Regard dress codes the Debretts site is very helpful

Black tie *

How come you've previously felt out of place ? What was lacking.

My workplace is very casual, ranging from jeans to an occasional blazer.

The last time I went to a daytime reception I wore what I found rummaging in my wardrobe, a grey blazer from H&M with trousers and ballet flats, and was shocked at how smartly turned out people were, in expensive-looking day dresses with matching jackets, fabulous shoes, and lovely but discreet jewelry. I don't think I breached the dress code technically, but I did look and feel out of place.

Now, this invitation is lounge suit/cocktail dress/dress uniform and it'a dinner. A friend who went to Oxford tells me they were told there that a cocktail dress is knee length, and only a little bit shorter or longer. Mine is mid-calf and I'm wondering if it would make me look out of place. You pointed me to Debrett's site (thank you!), which says: "A neat, tailored look is best for business, with length on or just below the knee. A pretty print and a looser and longer silhouette works best in the country." Mine is with a print, looser and longer, and I'm beginning to think I need to look for a new dress. I don't want to stick out.

Ebay is your friend. I have several beautiful silk cocktail dresses bought from EBay, A simple shift shape with an embellished neckline would be very suitable. Wallis and Boden are good places to start. Hope you find something!

Can you post a photo or a link to the dress?

A cocktail dress doesn't have to be knee length- I think the key point is that cocktail doesn't mean a full length gown but something shorter (such as a knee length shift dress but not necessarily that).

Your chiffon dress sounds fine to me but it's hard to say without seeing it.

It's from Noa Noa.

And it's empire waist.

That’s a day dress. If it is cocktail I would suggest a just bellow the knee length dress in a dark colour ideally in silk. But what are the exact words on the invitation?

It's lovely but it's not a cocktail dress.

If you go onto the Hohn Lewis dress sections and filter to black tie and knee length/midi length you will find a lot of suitable dresses.

Are you in the UK op? If so I’d say that’s a day dress. However I ask as I live abroad in a country where dress codes are generally more relaxed due to the fact it’s usually uncomfortably hot if everyone was to be in tight dark coloured cocktail dresses. Here you could easily where that to dinner at an embassy without raised eyebrows unless the invite was clear the even was black/white tie.

I am grateful to all of you and really glad I asked for help. If it's not just the length that's dubious, I will look for a new dress. Dark colours suit me better anyway and I'll use the occasion to get a nice new dress.

Don't know what size you are OP but this is currently on EBay. I have this dress, it's a gorgeous vivid green and sits just above the knee. Very elegant on.

There is a joins size 10 black cocktail dress on eBay at the moment. It's got some lace detail, perfect if you can wear black

There's a fab Hobbs one on sale if you want to buy new www.jigsaw-online.com/product/a-hibiscus-print-silk-dress/J34390_AS011

Yes cocktail usually means "like black tie but not a maxi"

A midi would prob be knee length or just above/below is your safest bet
If you are playing it safe I'd go for a single colour with either earrings or necklace

Sorry lost a sentence somehow

Should have said "a midi would probably be acceptable but knee length safer"

Save your noa noa dress and hope they invite you to a summer party

I would totally second Ebay - I have had all manner of black tie and cocktail dresses from there.

I am horsey and involved in a few clubs where there are a lot of posh balls and dinners and I always pick things up second hand. I used to go to a charity one every year that sadly stopped now where people ended up dancing on tables and spilling port... in the middle of a barracks in central London... I am not wearing a new dress for it to be ruined.

I am a huge pennypincher haha!

Day functions - I always look at second hand work dresses from Phase 8, French Connection , Hobbs , LK Bennett, The Fold , - they are expensive but amazing. Like you my day to day work is casual but functions need to be smart .

A crucial aspect of looking "smart" is that clothes fit properly so don't be afraid to buy on Ebay and take to a seamstress to perfect the fit. My seamstress lady is super reasonable and made a £20 ebay blazer ( which would have originally cost £150 +) look incredible for about £12

Adrianna Papell does lovely dresses and there's loads on ebay.

I recommend Zoe Vine, really good quality for the money! www.zoevine.com

Thank you! Off to check all the links now.