Date clothing for the scared older woman...

[GraceMarks]

I've resolved this year to get back into dating, despite having a major wobble about the condition of my skin and my weight. So - what do all you stylish people think would be a good thing to wear on a first date, assuming I can secure any? Let's say for the sake of reference that the date would be meeting for drinks at a nice bar.

I am nearly 40, 5'4", a pear-shaped size 14, with short hair and not-very-good skin. I've been told I'm a summer in terms of my colour palette. I hate my legs and general arse area, not keen on my stomach, and increasingly prefer to keep my arms covered as well. I have little norkage to speak of! I know that makes me sound like a disaster area, but I think turning up for a date in an outfit that made me feel uncomfortable or over-exposed would be counter-productive.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

What do you feel most comfortable wearing? I think for confidence it’s a good idea to work out the kind of clothes you feel best in then look for really good versions of them.

For example I’m never happier than when in black skinnies and knee boots (so far so dull) but I like statement boots, I also have decent bags and a slightly edgy taste in jewellery.

For your own esteem could you look into facials? Good skincare? Maybe get a colour or hair treatment, I say this only because you don’t sound very confident right now, not because it’s a must.

Perhaps some new makeup, visit a counter possibly.

If you have a budget be it high or low go and try some stuff on, look out for women who look good when you’re out and about and make a mental note of why they do especially if they’re similar to you.

A good jacket, bag and shoes make an impression when you walk in somewhere so start there.

An absolute essential for me is perfume, I don’t feel dressed without it.

None of the above means you should change anything about your fab self, sometimes we need a boost and a fresh start.

Good luck!

'Older woman' and you're still in your 30's?
Are you mad?
You need to look on Pinterest/instagram and find women of your age clue: not older and see what they wear. When you are out in bars etc what are the bother women your age wearing? Wear something like that.

Fit and flare dress

Eg
www.superdry.com/products/details/104987/riley-fit-&-flare-knitted-dress-black

Hi LuxuryWoman2018 I have cystic acne so really, facials and makeup are not something I really use very much. I see your point about getting a bit of a boost, and you're probably right that I could do with one. Generally I think I dress ok for my shape, but that's just for every day stuff - I haven't been on an actual date for years and I have no clothes that aren't either workwear or scruffs! Your idea about looking at what other women are wearing is good, I'll try that.

supergrains I'm currently going through an early menopause and I have arthritis in my hands. I also share an office space with a lot of very young students who all seem to be thin and gorgeous. I know I'm hardly ancient but I do feel every one of my years at the moment.

Jesus woman, you’re my age and I in no way consider myself an ‘older woman’! As for what to wear, it depends on the setting. I date a fair bit and I would wear something different depending on if we’re meeting for an evening meal or lunchtime drink or whatever. Generally, I wear what I feel comfortable in. At this time of year, it’s generally some variation of shortish skirt, boots and jumper. What do you feel comfortable it/like wearing? Fit and flare dresses can be lovely or skinny jeans and a nice top can take you most places if that’s your thing.

Have you been to the GP about your acne if it’s bothering you? Also you don’t sound like a disaster area and you are not an older woman!
For the date are you thinking dressy or relatively casual? What are you doing for it?

You are in your prime! Honestly you are young. When have felt most confident?

Best thing for skin is to treat it as super sensitive, use someyhing like cetaphil see a GP for acne cream, Duac is really good.

A good wrap dress - a good one, made of quality fabric and cut well - can be very flattering to your sort of figure as well as being nice-but-not-too-dressy.

I'm at peace with the fact that I'm a bit spotty and, having gone through all the treatment options when I was younger, I'm not really minded to do it again. It will probably clear up by itself once I'm on the other side of the change.

lifebegins interesting question. When I was in my mid to late 20s I was slim and could wear what I liked. But I was keeping myself that way by restricting my food intake and over-exercising. I liked being thin, if I'm honest, but it was far too much trouble!

Jassy I think I'm a bit short for wrap dresses. I would like to be able to wear them but they always look like dressing gowns on me.