To 'dress well' in early 40s.

[newcamper]

Read another thread about how attractive you rate yourself.

Many of the people who rated themselves highly said they 'dress well'.

I feel a bit lost with what to wear. I'm entering my 40s. How would a Shortish, size 14 pear shape dress well?

Any pics/example outfits/core wardrobe items (and where to buy) would be a huge help. My weight fluctuates between size 12 and size 14 and I want to look stylish but at ease/not uncomfortable.

Thanks

Following because I agree it's a core part of looking good to dress well (and look a bit polished). Much harder to manage in practice when you are a short, pear shaped size 14 with flab everywhere. Anything that skims just makes me look like a tented whale and anything fitted just seems to highlight lumps and bumps

I will say though that jumpsuits seem to be my friend! Highlight my waist which although not at all slim is slimmer than my hips and bust but still skim...

Budget? Lifestyle? Styles you like?

Twins!

I was on that thread. I think i ‘dress well’ but I don’t have any idea of ‘fashion’ really, and never have done. When I was younger and skinnier I could get away with my quirky choices but not so much now. So what I did was find someone famous, who was my sort of shape, colouring and hair type, who I thought looked good and tried to copy them. I’ve stuck with that approach for years (the ‘famous’ person changed a few times as my body/age changed )

Budget would be high street. Debenhams, outfit etc. If there was something key that is higher end high street but very wearable, I would 'invest'.

Lifestyle: FT working mum. Weekends consist of kids' parties, clubs etc.

Style: I have no particular style. Never have. I was Tom-boyish until teens then had to make a concerted effort to look girly. Never had a daytime style (usually jeans and top but occasionally a skirt/dress). I can look nice when going 'out out' (heels, skirt/dress, nicely done hair and makeup) but it's the inbetween, everyday look that I'm struggling with.

Im 5'1,age 39 size 12 i wear a dress every day with leggings ,if your curvy skater dresses are the best.i do wear hair extentions & make up so that does help me feel better.
What type of clothing were u thinking? Shops i go to are topshop,miss selfridge,new look & river island.blue vanilla online has nice things. For a good price and alot of choice new look is the place to go.im only good at advice on dresses x

As a suggestion, I really enjoyed a personal stylist session at John Lewis before Christmas. I could tell them my budget, favourite brands, likes and dislikes etc and the lovely lady went round and gathered up all sorts of things to try. Some things I'd never have chosen on the hanger looked much better on and some things which I thought would really suit me turned out not to. It was nice to have an objective eye, she was very careful to be kind when things didn't suit me (she didn't just point out that it was my enormous tummy!) and I didn't feel under any pressure to buy loads. I walked out with a dress and a skirt and have had a few compliments on them already.
Might be worth going along to one? The advice etc is free although I'm sure if you came out with absolutely nothing you'd both be a bit disappointed!

How do you reply to individual people's messages? Angelinthenight, what types of dresses with leggings do you wear. I am never sure what looks nice. I know it sounds silly but some people who I see in dresses and leggings look really nice and some look scruffy. I don't know how to get the balance right. I struggle to hit into Top shop clothes and don't know what is too young for me and what is too frumpy. I'm completely confused??

Thanks. Sounds great. Not got one in my town so will have to see about a day trip.

You can use @ in front of someone's user name to reply.
How about taking a day somewhere with lots of different shops and trying things on, see what you like. Don't worry about 'young' or 'frumpy''. Go for what makes you feel good.

... IMO, people who believe they dress well feel good about what they are wearing.

I'm the same just become 40 had baby no.3 a couple of years ago and got more of the typical mum pouch below my belly button. So what suited me before now doesn't especially as I'm an hourglass (above my belly button is still slim although not as much as it was) even fit and flare doesn't seem to work as it's highlights the pouch!

I've been trying on loads of different things I've got a pile to send back but it's helping me get an idea what suits me now, I've also started colour blocking a lot more and have looked at what colours suit me and go for them.

With looking polished it's the usual of the clothes need to fit, be clean, ironed and not to worn.

Don't keep anything that doesn't fit or you don't like.

@Sickoffamilydrama looking up colour blocking now. Thanks.

I wouldn't look at the pictures that are on a lot of the fashion shoes as they often choose the brightest colours and it makes your eyes hurt! It looks nice with say clashing colours so pink and red but they have to have similar undertones/ strengths so a vivid with vivid, dirty colours with other dirty ones.
I have also found that using all one colour but different shades looks good except with black it just looks like something has faded

• fashion sites not shoes

I’d recommend seeing a stylist or at least getting your colours done. Knowing what shapes, fabrics, patterns etc suit you is all you need really. I was beyond clueless and wasted so much money. But I invested and haven’t looked back x

Keep it classic, simple, use heels and can't go wrong with black are my moto. Also put on what makes you feel sexy and confident, it will show !

Gotta disagree with the black & heels comment.
Black might be a terrible colour in you ( as me, sadly)
Heels only work if you're one of the minority that can actually walk in them. I'd rather be able to get around easily and comfortably.

You can use @ in front of someone's user name to reply.

If you do that they get an email and their phone probably beeps at them so don't do that. Just bold their name in your post and they can read their 'I'm on' list at leisure.

Look at some blogs and see which you like. My favourites (for the writing as much as the fashion) are Midlifechic, thatsnotmyage, doesmybumlook40, onthespike and enbrogue for shoes.

I second the John Lewis suggestion. I did that in autumn last year and I learned so much about what suits me and why. There really is no pressure to buy and the personal stylist I got was lovely, although she didn't succeed in getting me into short skirts despite her trying very hard!

I'll be 40 this year and I'm a similar shape and size to what you describe. I think I dress well for my shape, and the best way of doing that is simply knowing what works on you and what doesn't. There are a lot of styles that have been "in" recently which I thought looked great on other people but which I knew would be disastrous on me - jumpsuits, cropped jumpers, and pinafore dresses being examples. For me, style has little to do with fashion. You can use it for inspiration, but you can always tell the people who are slavish about wearing the latest thing regardless of whether it suits them because the clothes are wearing them rather than vice versa.

And black isn't universally flattering at all! It's really only for those with more dramatic colouring, and it's horribly ageing next to the face if you're pale or sallow.

Wow. Thanks. Great advice. I'll work my way through it. Might look for a stylist for next birthday. Thanks.