So, so haggard....will it recover?

[Bahumwinterbugs]

I am just turned 34 and I feel so down about how I look. I am not talking about looking younger, I am more than happy to age as I have known some people my age and younger not age.
I just look so, so haggard. I hate it. I have 3 wonderful ds but they have nearly broken me as 2 of them have been such incredibly, bad sleepers. It’s no exaggeration to say that the 2nd barely slept 4 consecutive hours until 3 and my 3rd is proving v similar. We have literally tried it all even sleep consultants. Luckily my 2nd now sleeps very well after 3 years of regular waking but still in the midst of it with my 3rd.....
I often see mothers with newborns and you know that pale, exhausted look? Well that’s me all the time...
Even if my 21 month old sleeps my body is so used to waking I now have insomnia.
It’s ruined my looks, is there any coming back from this? I have loads of lines everywhere , frown lines, under eye lines etc 😫
I drink loads of water, exercise, don’t smoke,wear spf. I still look like crap. Can anyone tell me it improves after decent rest?
If not i will look into Botox etc..

The only thing missing from your list, is sleep.
We all look much better when we are well rested. For now, I'd stay away from the Botox, as time is on your side.
Do you wear make-up ? If you do, why not book yourself an appointment with a Mac, or Benefit beauty consultant, you deserve to feel attractive, you've definitely earned it ! 🌸

If you’ve got the cash you could try a session of those electric facial thingys? I can’t reme the proper name but it’s not as scary as it sounds.

I did it a couple of years ago and my skin looked so plump for ages, it was fab!

Do you use a good cleanser and toner at night? I find the toner in particular makes a big difference, along with plenty of water, multivitamins and so on.

Thanks for your replies. Sausage, what is this electrics thing you speak of?
I would love to know where to buy some retin A online as I heard that is the only actual cream that works to eliminate some fine lines etc. If anyone has any online recommendations on where to buy it? I have used to decent moisturizers but not sure they really work as it’s just on the outer layer.
I hope I look a bit fresher with some sleep...

*used some

This too shall pass. You will recover. You just need sleep.

I am 45 and look 10 times better than I did at 35. The difference? My kids now sleep and I go to bed early.

A few bits from The Ordinary also help. You can email them and ask advice. I didn't buy everything they suggested but focused on the acid / serumy things and I love them. I have rosácea so my things wouldn't necessarily suit you.

I would recommend alpha H gold, it really makes your skin glow. The lack of sleep is horrendous, I hope it gets better for you all

I'm just coming out of the other side of it at 35, and I look shit.

I've just had botox which has helped enormously, and booked in for tear trough fillers next week.

I'm sick of feeling like an old bag...

Agree about liquid gold- it's fantastic for dull skin

I hear you.

Vichy Vit C serum and the Ordinary 2% retinol/Liquid Gold have turned my haggard late 30s skin into something a bit more manageable.

@This is my happy face, would you mind enlightening me about tear trough fillers please ? Sorry to hijack your thread OP.

I also look rough. But sleep is the only way. Slerp when you can, put dc3 in nursery and sleep, rather than botox.
Just out the other side of the sleep thing. Its torture for a reason.

At the moment you are probably absolutely shattered, you need to try & increase your sleep, drink as much water as you can manage for starters. Look in Boots at the No7 Protect & Perfect range, speak to one of their consultants for recommendations of products. I'm using the line correcting booster serum, triple action serum & the day & night cream moisturizers, my wrinkles have really reduced, I'm exfoliating with a rotary power brush & using moisturizing cleansing products, I have spent less than £150 by buying when 3 for 2 offers are on, everything lasts ages, at least 3 months even with daily use.

My mum uses RetinA cream and she looks far younger than her 57 years (about 42) - but it is extremely strong stuff and your skin gets used to it, so you need to up your dose and it causes your skin to be raw and blotchy when your getting used to the new dosage. Proceed with caution

I looked shit at 30 after dd1 Jesus Christ I too thought that was it looks gone. I look better at 39 now kids are 9 and 6!!!

I am a skinny type and got all haggard with DD1. Found that high dose VitD, lots of chicken/beef/bone broth to drink (high in collagen), lots of eggs and protein shakes stopped me from exhaustion and haggardness even when very burned out. Never would have believed it before, I was silly.

Thank you so much for all your replies! Really interesting. I honestly am seriously considering Botox and my forehead is like one of those clingon (spl?) characters from star trek...
What is liquid gold though?? Sounds promising and I’d love to get my hands on retin A but no idea how to order it online, does anyone know any reputable websites?
I regularly see women much older than me look a million times fresher. It’s a downer as I used to love putting on makeup or even that fresh feeling after a swim and sauna I just notice that I look as crap as ever.. When the sunlight in the summer hits, dear God 😵

Hi, do know anyone going on holiday to spain, you can buy retinA from most chemists there, its a good price around 14 to 15 euros a tube.

I have been in a very similar position to you - my son woke up every two to three hours and things only improved through age (I must have read nearly every book on sleep going and used a sleep consultant but I think that getting older was the thing that fixed it). As he got older he slept better and finally at 4 1/2 years old has finally slept through the night nearly every night. Before the age of about 3 1/2 he had only slept through the night once.

This definitely had a huge impact on me and especially my hair which became straw like even though I took mutivitamins and ate well.

Since getting more sleep though my hair has become fine again and I definitely look much better and brighter. Unfortunately some of the wrinkles remain but are far less noticeable because I feel and therefore look so much better.

I send you a big hug and hope that sleep comes soon.

I forgot to say - I also had the insomnia as I woke all the time almost in anticipation. That has got better for me as well over time but I have had to work on forcing myself to go to bed early and trying to reprogram my brain (I am naturally someone who goes to bed late and gets up late - which doesn't work with my son who gets up very early!!

Sympathy here too as I have an erratically-sleeping two year old and an ebf four month old so decent sleep is a distant memory. My mum sent me a nice timehop picture of me and my DH four years ago with a chirpy "look how young you look" I wouldn't mind but she did the same photo last year and same comment I'm 39 and people no longer comment that I don't look it!

I definitely look better at 40 than I did at 32-36 with non sleeping children. Sleep really does make all the difference, I know that's but helpful when you're in the middle of it. I also slap on a ton of blue Nivea every other night - it's too rich to use on my skin every night.

Ruth Crilly (A Model Recommends) has just published a review of lots of retinol products on her blog. Might be worth a read. Also look into exfoliating (acid) toners such as Liquid Gold.

www.beautybay.com/p/alpha-h/liquid-gold/

If you have any fine lines caused by dehydration (meaning your skin struggles to hold onto water, not that you aren’t drinking enough) then i would recommend a serum containing hyaluronic acid. I love the Simply Pure one from Superdrug. It’s onlh £2.99 and is very highly rated. It is only a temporary effect but I can see a difference when I use it. If your skin is dry (so lacking in oil rather than water) then lashings of facial oil at night will help.

Have you got any good salons near you? Might be worth investing in a course of facials. The relaxation element will also help with your insomnia.

Retinol reface by Indeed at boots is very good and in my opinion,is much better than Roc, and costs about £20,, retinA is good but takes time to show any difference,
Dermawand and Lightstim will make your skin look refreshed,
Both are expensive brand new, but can be bought on ebay for about £45 ish
Dermawand is a Radio frequency device, which can help collagen production