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Original poster

Trying to look London cool, when you're a short, fat middle aged woman from the sticks

43 replies

DCIJackieDeering · 10/12/2018 21:24

I'm going to The Ivy lunch (actual, proper original Ivy, not one of the new chain-y ones), and I've got into a flap about what to where. I'd like to look a little bit on trend, and 'cool". I can dress well for the country, lots of wellies, and a bit of Joules when you're going out. But stuck for London, I'm in my 40s, size 18 and average height. I've got dresses like this I wear for work,

boring dress

or a few Nicola Sturgeon style shift dresses, but they feel too office-y

What sort of things should I be looking for? I like midi skirts, but I look really frumpy in them. I'd love to look more other stories/ All Saints and less Fat Face/ M&S but those stores don't seem to come close to my size

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 10/12/2018 21:27

Following for suggestions as you sound a bit like me, except taller! I'm no good at this stuff but I do try!

Do you have any ankle boots you can wear with a dress & thick tights? It makes a big difference to the outfit IMO.

Is your make up and hair all good? That can be easier to achieve.

fiorentina · 10/12/2018 21:29

Have you ever tried Cos? I know on mumsnet it’s a bit marmite but they have some great smart casual dresses you could wear with smart ankle boots, or stylish tops that you could wear with a blazer and trousers?
I also like my Whistles sparkle knit dress, not too sparkly but a bit glitzier? I wear with ankle boots or knee high suede boots from Other Stories.
I find even going out in London people don’t necessarily overdress though. Have fun!

Original poster
DCIJackieDeering · 10/12/2018 21:31

Hair is OK, just had roots done, currently trying to grow it into a doctor who bob, it's a little shorter than that at the moment. I own loads of make up, have mixed success at putting on.

All my ankle boots are flat at the moment, quite fancy wearing heels (although it might involve changing shoes when I'm nearby)

Handbag likely to be large LK Bennet brown tote, although other options are available

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 10/12/2018 21:32

Your flat ankle boots are likely to be more modern than heels

Original poster
DCIJackieDeering · 10/12/2018 21:33

I do like Cos, but it never seems to fit me.

it's the London "not overdressing" that I can't do. All going clothes in my little market town seem to be head to fit sequins at the moment,

OP posts:
CharlesChickens · 10/12/2018 21:33

I agree Cos, Whistles. How does Zara work on you ? Cos is a bit hit and miss if you are a larger cup size, but they are worth looking at.
Think about what sort of thing you would want to wear, if it was possible to buy anything.

Extrastout · 10/12/2018 21:33

I think your boring dress is probably very flattering for your shape. What I would recommend is statement new shoes. If your actual boring dress is navy, a bright red shoe or even bright yellow killer heels would look good. Also, a nice, straight lined long coat. Nice sheeny waxy tights to make the most of your legs. It's also hat season with this weather, so something that matches your shoes would look good.
Have you a good quality handbag? You'll look the business!

FantailsFly · 10/12/2018 21:34

Love that dress! I'd wear that with ankle boots and bare legs or tights (whichever you like the look of better) plus a long necklace. Do you have a coat about the same length? Enjoy the Ivy!

Amaaboutthis · 10/12/2018 21:35

Ankle boots, a print midi dress, fake fur jacket and a crossbody bag is a pretty good London 40 something look.

Tatapie · 10/12/2018 21:35

Love a boring dress myself! If you wear one with opaques and ankle boots could you add a cool big interesting necklace? I have no idea where you'd get one mind as I'm middle aged and dull but I'd like one!

CharlesChickens · 10/12/2018 21:38

Toast maybe ? The dresses get more expensive every year, but they sound the sort of thing you like.
Finery ?

Amaaboutthis · 10/12/2018 21:38

Lunch at The Ivy won’t be dressy, it will be more effortless (lots of effort) casual, think does my bum look 40 on insta kind of look

DawgLover · 10/12/2018 21:41

I have that dress and love it! I wear it for work but if I were going out afterwards or had a client lunch to attend I'd wear it with:
Knee high ruched dark brown boots with a block heel and a chunky necklace that picks out the colour of the boots
Or
Cranberry/deep red ankle boots with a decent sized heel

When I last went to the Ivy I wore smart black trousers, a black and white striped knitted top, red heels and red lips. If I wore the same again I'd team it with a leopard print bag.

Extrastout · 10/12/2018 21:42

Either of the above combinations would go well with the dress you linked.

FilledSoda · 10/12/2018 21:43

Your dress looks lovely, I agree with a pp you need a coat the same length.

Skatersbeskating · 10/12/2018 21:45

I like the dress Wine

exexpat · 10/12/2018 21:45

Last time I was in the proper London Ivy for lunch the clientele were mostly 50+ and not noticeably stylish, so I wouldn't be too worried (I was 40-something and am no style icon myself).

dellacucina · 10/12/2018 21:54

This dress is a slightly different shape but I think the way it is styled is right on point: jolynneshane.com/black-bell-sleeve-shift-dress.html wear with a long elegant winter jacket!

HundredMilesAnHour · 10/12/2018 21:59

Last time I was in the proper London Ivy for lunch the clientele were mostly 50+

I agree with this. Lunchtime clients tend to be older (40s upwards) compared to the evening crowd. Fewer celebs go there these days and those that do tend to be upstairs in The Club. Still quite a few actors/theatre folk but less so at lunchtime of course.

Last time I lunched there, Nigella Lawson and Charles Saatchi were at the next table. Nigella was wearing a dress very similar to yours OP so no need to worry about not fitting in. For city dressing, if in doubt black is always a safe choice. Then just accessorise with some cool accessories. I'd not wear heels though. That's a very cliched out-of-town visitor look (which I thought you wanted to avoid?)

Wide-legged trousers worn with trainers plus a cashmere fitted sweater would look much more modern and 'London'. Practical (remember that Londoners walk a lot) yet cool.

chumsnet · 10/12/2018 22:12

The Ivy is very grown-up and safe. No-one will be remotely edgy - it’s a suit-y crowd of lawyers and media types and you can’t go wrong with a Cos or other relatively plain dress from somewhere like Goat. Good hair and carefully natural make-up and some interesting earrings or necklace, and a cuff bracelet perhaps. No-one will see your shoes; you’ll be sitting down!

Original poster
DCIJackieDeering · 11/12/2018 11:42

Right, I think boring dress with statement boots/ coat/ jewellery is the way forward.

I tend to find wide legged trousers just make me look even shorter and dumpier than usual

OP posts:
Milliy · 11/12/2018 11:49

What is your heightOP if it's average? Interested in what people consider average nowadays. Smile

Fashionista101 · 11/12/2018 11:50

I'd get some trainers, if budget not an issue how about the McQueen ones? These look great with just about anything. My mum is 47 and literally wears them with wide trousers/dresses and manages to look great all with comfy feet Smile

DontCallMeCharlotte · 11/12/2018 12:34

jolynneshane.com/black-bell-sleeve-shift-dress.html

As linked above - funny, the boots look fine but the shoes look way too heavy. Go figure....