Mum - possible body odour

[MrsBosh]

My DH told me he thinks my mum might not be taking care of her body odour. He said he's noticed a 'musty' smell dozens of times when she has been in our house.

I see my lovely mum two or three times every week and have never noticed anything like this, so was really surprised. My immediate reaction was quite defensive and offeneded on her behalf. However he obviously felt awful telling me and said he's wanted to mention it for a while but didn't know how.

How do I approach this? She's 62, size 12 and in god health. She takes care of her appearance and does Pilates, wears a bit of makeup, perfume etc. She would always have evening baths when I lived at home and has always used bar soap to wash (before anyone suggests this ). Clothes are washed regularly as is bedding, their house smells clean and is clean. I just don't know what this could be.

I told DH I wanted to be sure that BO was an issue before trying to talk to her about it. But if it is, how on earth do I tackle it? I worry her gut reaction would be to be very hurt and upset with me. But if this is a problem I want to help her sensitively.

Good deodorant recs? She uses roll ons and it's probably Dove or similar. Would it be awful of me to buy something and then have a chat with her and gve her the product to try .

Smell the towels next time you're in her house.

Thank you everyone. I'll look at their washing machine and any piles of clean washing when I'm next there.

I originally posted on S&B as was expecting I'd need deodorant recs. Hope noone minds it's more health/WWYD now!

Saw mum a few hours ago and I had a sneaky smell whilst she was reading my DS a book on the floor. Just behind her armpit - smelt washing powder. Then sniffed the armpit of her coat - the faintest hint of deodorant, but that's it .

Will try and do the same next few times I see her.

Told DH I couldn't smell anything bad and he seemed annoyed. But that's a separate issue...

Sure Clean Scent cream deoderant is very good. I started to smell a bit whiffy (menopause!). I was using a regular Dove one but it wasn’t cutting it and the Sure one has sorted me out.

But your mum doesn’t seem like she needs it.

Thanks for the rec, Sarcelle. Think my mum is also post-menopause. I myself used Dove for years but it seemed to stop working for me too - perhaps they changed the formulation!

Does she wear manmade fibres?
Smells sometimes longer on these and only smell as the fabric heats up with the body.

A sports wash like Halo is good

A musty smell is often from clothes stored in an old wardrobe or a damp bedroom. Lots of people’s clothes smell musty I find. I renovated a house which took several years and I could smell the smell on myself especially if it was something that didn’t get washed often like a coat.

If it was that bad you would’ve smelt it being that close to her. You could clearly smell her deodorant and washing powder so there’s nothing wrong with your nose.

The smell is quite obvious on people who aren’t washing or drying their clothes, washing themselves or living in a mouldy house. You would smell it when they came in.

I think something is wrong with your DH to be honest.

If all you can smell is washing powder and the slightest hint of deodorant, then I really do think it's either he doesn't like her perfume, deodorant or washing powder (can happen with some people and certain artificial fragrances) or that he is just being nasty (the latter idea is because he was annoyed when you told him about not smelling anything bad - that's a strange reaction)

Has she changed her washing powder?

I normally use bog standard supermarket non-bio. Couldn't get it one time and got Fairy Non-Bio Liquid delivered instead. It was so "odour" free that it actually made DH and I think our clothes were smelling musty. Kept putting something on and sniffing it - an just that hint of "Ooo, this took too long to dry". Stuff kept being put back in the wash. Was only for the thicker/slower to dry stuff - cotton t-shirts/jumpers etc.

Problem stopped as soon as I got my supermarket stuff back.

Seconding the notion that her washing machine may need a hot cycle with powder (empty) because the liquid detergents do sometimes leave a residue that smells a bit mouldy.

My mum is the same , she has a distinctive smell . I've told her to shower more and use stronger deodorant but I think she is oblivious .. she is well dressed and clean , just smells .

Does your H like your Mum? How's your relationship with him? I wouldn't set too much store by what he has said. If it's so hard to detect it simply cannot be the issue he is saying it is.

Could she be having bladder issues? Using tena or similar? Clutching at straws because I don't think it's this.

We have a fabric conditioner that smells nice and a washing powder that smells nice but together they smell unpleasant. Also my MIL and SIL use the same washing powder which I find vile smelling but they obviously don’t. But it does sound weird if you genuinely can’t smell anything off.

Thank you all. There was a fabric conditioner she used for a while which made me want to gag (I was pregnant though) but she's not used it for ages!
Went over for lunch yesterday and their washing machine (four/five years old) isn't smelly but it definitely has a damp odour so I will say I read about general benefit of hot washes/I'm doing one etc.

DH and my DM get on OK. They had one bad argument earlier in the year but generally get on fine.