Feeling overwhelmed

[Fortyfatandfedup]

Hi, I'm new to MN and as my username says I'm forty, fat and fed up! Sorry in advance for the long post!

The last few years have been really difficult. I went through fertility treatments and IVF (I'm one of the lucky ones who it eventually worked for), work has been really stressful and I suffer with binge eating disorder. Over the last year I've had minimal sleep as my DD has suffered from a number of minor illnesses since birth, which has made her unsettled and generally grumpy most of the time. Every day merges together and I'm fighting to do the bear minimum in terms of looking after my own well-being. DH is as supportive as he can be and I'm really lucky to have him.

I turned 40 earlier this year, and it seems that (coupled with everything else that's gone on) has had a massive impact on my general appearance. My face looks puffy and eyes bloodshot and sunken with huge dark circles. My skin looks haggard. My hair is thinning (quite alarmingly at the front), and the odd grey that I had before pregnancy seems to have multiplied dramatically.

My weight has always been a an issue due to the BED, but since giving birth I have no shape at all. I'm short too, which doesn't help and I know I need to lose some weight to feel a bit better in my clothes. My current style is very old fashioned for my age, as I struggle to get things to fit properly.

I would love to get on top of all of this and really start to look after myself, which I'm sure would make a huge difference to my self confidence. However, I feel completely overwhelmed as there seems so much to do and I'm always so tired. Does anyone have any ideas, as I really don't know where to start? X

Have you had your thyroid tested? Many of the things you mention are symptoms of an underactive thyroid. Might be worth requesting a blood test through your GP.

So sorry to hear you are feeling down.
I know it sounds a bit ‘trinny and susannah’ but have you ever had your colours done? Ie figuring out which colour palette suits you the best? It really helped me, as pale colours, brown and beige make me look quite ill, tired and washed out, but wearing something from ‘my’ colour palette gives my face an instant lift and has made a massive difference, also ditching the clothes that didn’t fit with that palette actually makes outfits a lot easier to put together. I’m sure there are tips and tricks online or books available to help you decide which one you are. Good luck!

I've had lots of success with lowering my sugar intake. I noticed that when I eat something with sugar added to it (or other sweetners), I always want more and eat beyond being sated. But if I purposely look for stuff without sugar I stop when I am full. I tend to satisfy my sugar cravings with fruit, which had other added benefits as well.

Initially I lost no weight at all, but became a lot less bloated and within a matter of days I felt so much better. I can highly recommend it along with advise previous posters have made.

Also, if buying new clothes is not yet an option, how about focussing on accessories instead. Bracelets, necklaces and earing don't have to take much time or money, but can help you feel more put together. Skip rings while you are still losing weight.

I've been doing some research based on the comments, and I think I am going to ask the doctor if they will test my thyroid function.

Anyway, I did go out for a walk this morning with DD. Despite the red face and windswept hair I feel I did look a little more healthy when I got back! 😁

The other thing I really would recommend is Rebelfit, particularly in view of your ED. He promotes healthy, minimally processed food and intuitive eating and 20 minutes body weight workout at home everyday which is doable.
He’s very anti any kind of “diet” because of the deprivation and subsequent binging which is very common.
Just Follow him on FB to start with and see if you like it and if you do consider signing up to a mission. I did a couple. I found it really helpful. It got rid of my “all or nothing” mentality with diets/food.
Good luck. You’ve had some good advice here.

Thank you all so much for your comments, it means a great deal to me x