Please help a clueless, anxious size 16-18, dress-phobic dress for a wedding I dont want to attend!

[Batinahat]

I hate weddings, in quite large part because I dislike dressing up and detest having my photo taken as well as finding making small talk with strangers difficult. I have to go to a wedding in a few weeks as DH is the best man and there's no getting out of it (I have tried!). The wedding is informal - ceremony and reception all at posh pub. I have seen wonders worked on this board so hope the same can be done for me!

I am a size 16-18 big boobs, curvy - think hourglass but with but of a tummy. I am 5ft 7 and not confident in my looks or body at all. I do not own a dress. Literally don't own one. Whenever I try to wear one I feel like an imposter - either dressing too young or too old or something, just feels weird to me! I don't usually wear heels but I do have a pair (black patent). Otherwise it's all ballet flats and trainers I am afraid.

Can I wear something along the lines of skinny black trousers with heels or flats and some kind of floaty floral top/blouse?? Would this be considered too casual for this kind of wedding? I don't know anyone else who is going, only my DH who is best man and will be in a suit. I don't think I own anything suitable at all as I don't have much in the way of smart clothes beyond basic work wear. I am happy to spend up to £75-100 if I have to. Ugh, weddings!

How about a jumpsuit? Dressier than trousers and still comfortable for you if you dobt like dresses? I'm a size 16 and a similar shape and I wear lots of dresses and jumpsuits. This is one of my faves:

uk.monsoon.co.uk/view/product/uk_catalog/mon_1,mon_1.7/4439586108?gclid=CjwKCAjworfdBRA7EiwAKX9HeI2EHq5CVl4g8htsyhNwR6P2nLW14O9GKVxyPPDRWVSgHYrvFvN8cRoCm9QQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds.ds&dclid=CNPI5PCC3t0CFcLHUQod2gcKNA

It's available in an 18 and is on sale too! X

Would you wear something like this?

Of course, you don’t have to wear a dress. A trouser suit or jumpsuit would be equally fine. (I’m not personally a fan of black trousers - too ‘uniform-y’.) But you’re perhaps more likely to find a decent dress within budget.

What sort of shapes and colours might you find acceptable?

Replies already! Thank you so much :) hadn't thought of a jumpsuit - deffo an idea for me! I think in my head I always thought they are only for tall thin model gazelle types?! I think the Monsoon jumpsuit is nice but I have questions (be patient with me, I am clueless!). What could I wear with it if it's cold to cover up? Cardigan? Or is that too mumsy?! And what about shoes? The wedding is in October in the UK so could wet and cold!

The green velvet dress is not for me, I am not keen on the sleeves or the velvet-ness to be honest. I am prepared to try and get over my dress phobia, but I think the reality is I won't feel as comfortable in a dress as I would in trousers. I do sometimes wear long skirt and top in the summer so could build from that?!

Just to add I can't really say a lot about what shapes of dresses I might like as I don't ever wear dresses...but as I am curvy I think maybe wrap style or like a longish pencil style might flatter?? No idea! I like bright colours for tops including prints and florals and like purples, greens and blues.

jumpsuit deffo! can wear a cardigan or a wrap will dress it up a bit. nice heels. or wide legged trousers with heels and a naice top?

try on a few dresses, a wrap dress would be lovely with thick black tights?

This?

https://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod107011100011200103125433-1

If Hilary Clinton can wear a trouser suit to run for president you can wear one to a wedding.

Phase Eight have some nice more 'dressy' jumpsuits do you like any of these ?

this one would dress up niceley with some brighter accessories

I’d be a bit reluctant to go in black trousers because they’re so worky.

But plain trousers in pretty much any other colour, that you could wear for work afterwards, some ballet flats in decent condition and a pretty top should be fine. No sense forcing yourself into a dress you won’t feel happy in: I’m sure the B&G wouldn’t want that especially if it’s an informal wedding.

@Laska5772 I like the look of the jumpsuits on the models :D they look grown up and sophisticated and slim and lovely, I am struggling to imagine me in any of them but I struggle to see myself in much that isn't jeans and a t-shirt and trainers - I am comfortable only when super causal which is the problem! I am wondering if a trip to Phase Eight to try on jumpsuits is a good idea though, I think I need to get myself into one and then see what I think - definitely more appealing than a dress though!

I usually try to keep necklines v neck or scoop because of the big boobs, anything too high and it just makes them look Widicombe-esque

Any good?

@EvilRingahBitch thanks for the suggestion, I do have some nice Wallis trousers in burgundy and a pair in dark khaki that might work if I bought a wedding-y top (whatever that is??) I would love to wear flats as I know I would just have sore feet in a matter of minutes in heels plus tower over my short DH :D

I think it would look great with something like this

m.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/navy-soft-waterfall-jacket-7423806

(available in a 16 but should be OK as doesn't need to be buttoned up)

And some nude block heeled sandals and clutch bag.

@QuaterMiss thanks for the suggestion. I think that style of neck/top isn't for me as I don't get on with strapless bras and deffo need the scaffold of a good bra plus straps

Thanks everyone who has taken the time to reply and send links, I am loving the Style and Beauty board army :)

A quick google on the John Lewis site (highly recommended for this sort of thing because it has so much stock and you can filter by size, colour, neckline and sleeves) suggests these two that you could wear with maroon trousers depending on your colouring: Phase 8 (ruffles) and Mint Velvet (drapes). Mint velvet one is expensive but so pretty. Phase 8 one is on sale so only 35 quid.

I wore this to a wedding last month. Heels and clutch and floral scarf made it look very dressy. They style is very flattering on the tummy.

other colours as well

How do you feel about more retro style clothing? Collectif are great and would probably suit your body shape!

Can you get to a John Lewis? They have started a fab personal shopping service for real people, size of customer and depth of purse as important as style. www.johnlewis.com/our-services/personal-styling

I used the online version when my brother got married but this looks even better. www.johnlewis.com/women/personal-style-edit

Thanks for all the suggestions, I am clicking all the links and looking :)

There is a John Lewis near work so yes I could definitely try a personal shopping appointment, thanks for that suggestion!

I like the suggestion of trying something a bit more retro in style, I think that would suit my figure so will look at that link too, thank you.

I have a growing list of things to try/follow up/go and try on :)

This style of dress is lovely for your body type. Comes in a few colours too: www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/bodycon/products/twist-skirt-bodycon-dress-3?variant=7000608964641

They sell jumpsuits as well: www.scarlettandjo.com/collections/jumpsuits/products/40s-wrap-momo-crepe-jumpsuit?variant=886093152260

How about tuxedo trousers?

Zara have a few but it's so hard to know what their sizing is. An XL could be anything from a 12 to an 18 but you get the general idea.

If you like that jumpsuit (I do) wear it with a bright warm wrap. I am a recent convert to the scarf/wrap and find them very versatile and less frumpy than a cardi

Thanks for the Scarlett and Jo links - I have not heard of them before but I am really loving how all the outfits are shown on plus size models and each one is shown on several different women - gives so much more of an idea how something will look on real people! I have also added tuxedo trousers to my list to try in a shop. Thanks guys, you have helped me so much, I feel I have some options to explore now and feel slightly less panicky and fretful about what the hell to wear :)