Does anyone else have an incredibly awkward shape to dress?

[KittyLane1]

I am 5 foot 3, huge bum and hips, thicc thighs with a smallish waist and ( natural) 36K cup bra.

Despite being such a short arse my legs and surprisingly long. My shoulders are rather small and my feet are very wide.

I seem to have got the worst of everything. Any other freaks of nature about who can give me tips on where to shop ? Currently mostly wear clothes from new look or primark, and I like simply be jeans.

Dress size anything from a 14 to a 22.

The thread I've been waiting for, Kitty!

I'm tallish, 5'6", but have really short legs, huge bum and thighs, small waist but a big tummy when out of shape (like now!), broad shoulders, barrel chest that makes button down tops gape oddly and boobs that are 36E but in practice look flat and wide spaced with no cleavage so I can't wear anything low.

I'm a 10/12 at my 'fighting weight' (have put on some weight due to a health issue but have the same clothing difficulties even when I'm slimmer) and a 16/18 now.

I find that quality stretch jersey (preferably double layered) is my friend as it is forgiving on my funny proportions and shows off my bum which is a good feature, and 3/4 sleeves seem to balance me out a lot better than any other length.

Jigsaw is good, also Cos and lk bennett- either sales, charity shops in posh areas or eBay as full price is a bit much for me. I find Primark to be the best fit of the rest of the high street and Oasis not bad.

It's also helped learning some basic alterations- how to add waist darts etc.

I am a size 6 with 42 inch shoulders. I have freakishly long arms and long legs. I am quite short waisted, have narrow feet, skinny ankles (6inches, measured once for purpose of buying boots) and apparently large calves at 14.5 inches, which means that long boots in my size, 38, don't generally fit. I am 5 ft 6 inches tall. Also, my arms are too muscular, apparently, to get into sleeves.

My inside leg is 35 inches, and my arms measure 25 inches long.
But I have created a legacy, and my children are similarly difficult to dress.

Yup! I’m 5.4 and a size 10 but I have broad shoulders, small but very short waist and large hips/arse!
I can’t wear anything too tight on the bottom because my legs go in under my hips and then back out again.
If I wear anything to high waisted I just look like a pair of boobs on legs!
Tough!

Yes. My athletic thighs always cause problems. I'm slim and don't have a bum or hips to make me officially curvy.
If I can get trousers over my thighs then they're usually way too big at the waist. Lots of my trousers have to be safety pinned together.

right pre-dc's, when I had more time at the gym and decent biceps, I couldn't get many tops to fit either.

I'm a boobless apple on treetrunk legs. No ankles to speak of. Post-pregnancy overhang. No chin (some necklacesook weird), pea-sized head (hats look ridiculous on me).

I'M BEAUTIFUL!

I still strut my stuff on the beach in my bikini, i won't hide.

Hello fellow freaks

So where does everyone shop ? I agree with being boobs on legs and my jeans are always too big at the waist for me, I can fit two hands down them

I’m 5’11” with size 10 boobs, size 8 waist and size 12 hips. Nothing ever fits properly!

I’d love to be boobs on legs, just for a day. I’ve pretty much given up wearing a bra under most outfits because it’s pointless!

You sound as though you have a similar figure to me.

Thing is we have to embrace it otherwise we end up looking squat and enormous.

Channel your inner K. You need to tuck in t-shirts/tops unless they're very fitted.

Wrap/50s dresses are great.

I try and source "urban wear jeans" ie anything from American "black" ranges. Yesterday I went sashaying down the high st in a pair of baby phat (long closed down) jeans which make me feel sexy as hell.

Expensive shoes. If you've got flippers like me then you need to spend ££ for sexy shoes - a Primark pair ain't gonna cut it!

(inner Kim Kardashian)

Bin I love Kim K and her style and I love pencil skirts and tucked in tops for work but I forgot to mention my tree trunk calves, honestly I barely even have knees just thicc thigh from hip to hoof.

Problem is if I wear anything baggy I look 44 stone, if I wear anything very fitted I look tarty.

As an aside, I can't stand anything faux 50s style or Lindy Bop etc.

I have very similar shape. Nightmare to dress.
Trousers have inches gapping on the waistband at the back.
Nothing fits, generally.

Good boobs, small waist, huge rounded bum, huge hips, rounded enormous thighs, plus unfortunately ugly shaped legs, worse still cankles.

I am an ex hourglass. Now I am a 14-16, with massive 34H boobs, a c section pouch and decidedly childbearing hips. All the clothes I would have chosen before DC just accentuate my horrible tummy.

I would love to be confident in a bikini but not gonna happen.

Honestly I don't think anyone will look at your calves when they're mesmerized by your torso!

Unfortunately if we're not careful we can look tarty... So I tend to do sleek 'natural' hair and grown-up accessories and I don't go anywhere near 'fashion'.

I do get what you mean about 50s... Looks sensational - feels contrived!

'coursw this comes from the woman who spends most of her time in breeches and a smelly horse jumper!

Similar issues sadly but not even got the tits!

5ft 3 and a bit, anything petite too small apart from maxi dresses. Regular too long.
I have small boobs (32DD but wide and shallow), thick waist with no definition , enormous arse and horse riders thighs. I also have a very dipped back. Narrow shoulders and short vertically from shoulder to bust (not sure what that's called but means thin straps ping off my shoulders).
Trousers are impossible as are most skirts.
Can’t wear anything structured ‘cos the fit is in the wrong place (eg lined shifts etc). Stretchy unlined dresses are my only friend.

Am a fat 12 in most shops apart ftom trousers which won’t do up but a 14 too big.

It’s so hard, am 40 but look younger but have no natural shop “home”. No wonder I live in breeches!

I'm 5'3, classic hourglass although a bit overweight at 12-14. Big boobs, small waist, good bum and large thighs and Huge calves - partly genetic, partly weight training.
The hourglass figure really shouldn't be difficult to dress: it's the body type which is seen by most people as the classic female form. So why are there so few clothes which flatter it? High necked, smocky tops just make me look frumpy, most trousers seem cut to flatter a far more androgynous body type. Off the shoulder tops are off limits (not only do bra straps show but they are also shapeless and unflattering).

These days I live in straight leg jeans (which are more like skinnier on me), Jersey vest tops and bodycon Jersey dresses. Haven't seen a 'pretty' piece which would suit me in years.

My body shape is egg, on baguette shaped, corned beef colour legs. #blessed. (Sorry about all the food references, I must be hungry)

I can just about do winter in tights, boots and swingy dresses but summer is not my friend.

I think I've found my people! I really struggle to find things that fit properly. I'm 5ft nothing, size 10, massive boobs, narrow shoulders, no waist- just wide flab, wobbly stomach, narrow hips but enormous wobbly thighs on short legs.

Everything in shops at the moment seems to be for people with giant arms and legs with a straight up and down shape.
If I am lucky to find something, h&m is quite good but most of my clothes are worn old and years old.

this is the thread for me! Im 5ft 5, but all body and stumpy legs broad shoulders, 36g boobs, tiny waist in comparison to boobs and large hips. Massive thighs amd bum..like huge and most annoyingly a large csection apron :(

Would love to highlight my waist more but my csection pouch can be seen from space so im limited

my legs go in under my hips and then back out again.

Brioche If it helps, I'm pretty sure most women's legs do that. Unless I'm picturing something different.

Wide shoulders, flat chest, huge rib cage, any fat I put on (I'm slim) goes onto my ribcage.

Slim waist and hips, but stomach muscles broken from C sections and therefore always slightly protruding despite exercise.

Long legs in proportion to body and particularly long from hip to knee meaning that most skirts / dresses look indecent as even if they cover a lot of thigh they still reveal a lot!

Wide feet with plantar fascitis.