Help! Look like shit

[Cripesalive]

Looking for inspiration I suppose. Or some tips. Have had a difficult couple of years since a relationship broke down, and I work in a very stressful job (with lots of travel). I suppose I threw myself into work to avoid facing my shitty personal life. Think I’ve finally burnt out. Stressed, anxious and I seem to pick up every little cough and cold. But I can’t believe how bad I look - have put quite a bit of weight on (for me), look bloated, puffy face, dark eye bags, pale blotchy skin etc. Hair gone quite thin. Nails all bitten and disgusting from stress. Suffering with a bout of eczema which I’ve never had before but it’s on my face and I’m a bridesmaid this weekend. Feeling really down about how terrible I look - has anyone been in a similar position with tips to turn it around? Probably too late for the weekend... just feel gross tbh.

Well if you've noticed/ are bothered, I'd say there's hope!

I had a similar thing when my DS was born. Felt and looked like shit as well as being knacked. I was given a spa day as a birthday present and literally after a day there people asked me if I had been on holiday. Lots of water based stuff to re pump my skin. Nothing to do. Lying in the sun.more swimming, Turkish baths ...
You can get a manicure fake nails and haircut and a facial.
Book in for a half day tomorrow.

Are you eating and sleeping properly? Stress is a great ager too. Simple way of dealing with stress, can I change what is making me stress, yes then do it, no then just accept it. Easier said than done but it does work

Thanks for taking the time to respond! Not eating brilliantly well - need to up the fruits and vegetables I think, but very often eating in hotels and kind of lost the will to look after myself lately. But true on the stress, I suppose the lotions and potions can’t counteract that so maybe no quick fix.

I think you should start taking a really good probiotic. I've been reading so many things about gut health and it seems so important.

For skin, I highly, highly recommend a hydrating toner. I'm 52, eczema prone and it's helped my skin so much. It's such an easy step to incorporate. I like this but lots of others depending on your budget. You just pat on a few drops after cleansing. As many layers as you like until your skin feels tacky. This is also lovely.

The REN Evercalm Cleanser was also recommended to me as a lovely, gentle cleanser which it sounds like you need.

Lastly, the Victoria Health website is great. A huge amount of products but you can email and they answer! They don't try and push products either. [email protected] www.victoriahealth.com/CustomerCare/Contact-Us

Thanks bagel, i will check out the website. I’ve tried REN before and they were great - eczema is new to me so I guess my old products won’t be right. Will also try probiotics. Do you think the pill form would work? I know there are fancy ones that have to stay in the fridge but I travel so much pills would be easier. Might do some research

And I’d love to go for a spa but have to work tomorrow morning then travelling to where the wedding is, although maybe I could try the sauna at the hotel - better than nothing!

It’s the first family wedding since my exH buggered off so lots of people in extended family I’ve not seen since then. Feeling a bit embarrassed to be honest, and had hoped I’d look fabulous

I had a moment like this about a year ago and I've done the following: mainly veg diet; limit my drinking to weekends only (don't always succeed but most weeks I do); regular facials; supplements of evening primrose oil, cod liver oil, turmeric and perfection; skincare regime of double cleanse, hylauronic acid, toner, serum and moisturiser, SPF50 every day; regular exercise and a few nights a week of 7/8 hours sleep. I look and feel much better. Not perfect as have some health issues and am battling the effects of grief, but the rigorous combination of these things has made a massive difference.

Ps have psoriasis too so feel your pain in the excema. Only steroid cream helps me - and that is hit and miss!

Lotions and potions will help but you need to tackle the stress. St John’s Wort is very good for lifting your mood gently. I believe some countries use it as their default mild anti depressant.
Eat well, lots of water. Listen to one of the millions of relaxing podcasts. Try some aromatherapy massage oils. Gentle plumping products may help I use The Ordinary hyalauronic acid which traps water on your skin.

Dr chatterjees 4 pillars of health may help you. Have a look it’s on amazon.
I found it interesting.
The key for me was sleep. I have discovered I need more than I thought. I cut out alcohol for a month or so and drank plenty of water and the difference was amazing. People actually started commenting.
On top of that Dr Chatterjee talks about movement (and what types of exercise help... HITT, strength training and core mainly) and diet (low sugar, low processing, high veg...) and stress (mindfulness etc)
It was an interesting read. I have genuinely taken a few strategies from the book and worked them into my lifestyle.
Another book that was really interesting was “why we sleep” (can’t remeber the author) - really made me prioritise sleep in a way I had never done before.

Cripes I'm thinking of getting these OptiBac Probiotics For every day EXTRA Strength – Pack of 30 Capsules https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0042WVT1G/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_24PpBbHKQPXHS

Are you sure it's eczema? Could be dermatitis? You could buy a 1% Hydrocortisone over the counter, don't say it's for your face though as they get silly. Just use it for a couple of days and then try and see a GP when you have a chance .

Will you have time to go to a hairdresser and get a wash and flow dry before the wedding. That could be good.

Thanks all so much for your helpful suggestions- feeling much more positive already! Going to try the hydrocortisone and drink copious amounts of water to get me through the next couple of days, then will start looking into some of these longer term solutions and finally tackle the stress!

Lots of good longer-term advice here. A great fast pick-me-up for me has been the Origins Drink Up Intensive mask. Even the small tube is huge, so it's worth the cost. Apply and leave it on overnight, and it really plumps up and evens out the skin. Great for emergency "I feel like shit" situations. I also get eczema and hives from stress and have generally sensitive skin, and this doesn't break me out, even though it does have a strong scent. (That dissipates quickly.)

Lots of big Boots have Origins counters, and my local House of Fraser does, so it may not be too hard to find.

You need a short and a long term plan. The short term plan for boosting your confidence in your appearance for being a bridesmaid. You'll need to throw some money at it but a professional manicure and pedicure will help. I'd recommend a restorative massage for your spirits then a decent light fake tan. Plus a haircut. You'll feel instantly better than you do now.
Then you need to think longer term about making a change to the self- sabotaging lifestyle you have drifted into. I would say some exercise/ activity should be at the heart of it, and eating LOTS of healthy food- salmon, avocado, mango, berries...Think health rather than beauty longer term.

Well first you need to tackle the stress! Maybe a trip to yourGP or some herbal stress relief! St. John's wart maybe, Holland and Barrett will be able to advise better. And then....... time for some you time!!!!! Have a pamper day! Book the day off work and go get your nails done, your hair done maybe buy a new outfit, perhaps some self tan if you are worried about your appearance of your skin! Maybe a controversial, but sunbeds really do help with eczema and psoriasis, I suffer with psoriasis myself and have found it's the only thing that really helps! Work is important but don't forget about a good work - life balance! Go away and spend the weekend with some friends, need to recharge the batteries! Take care OP!

Really appreciate all of the input, thanks. Will absolutely book some time off over the summer to recalibrate and focus on being healthier. But for today, have picked up some cream for face and some st tropez instant tan stuff and will be getting a last minute mani/pedi this afternoon.

Excellent. I have a pedicure about once a year for summer and it's lovely!

Honestly, with the football, tennis, the heat and the wedding, everyone will be a bit hectic and I'm sure you'll be having a good time too.

yay Cripes ! good work! and I hope you feel all the better for it. Enjoy your weekend.

So, posting an update for myself more than anything... wedding went well and I was stupid to feel so insecure as all eyes were on my beautiful, happy sister, and rightly so!

Since the wedding I am focusing on long term health. I’ve started using MFP and exercising (yoga and a few slow runs - I used to be a HM runner) and have signed up to headspace and doing the intro meditation course to help with the stress. And I’m using a habit tracker app to make sure I do a weekly face mask, manicure etc. And drinking loads and loads of water!

I’m not sure if it’s the placebo effect but I’m also taking probiotics as recommended, cod liver oil and vitamin D and feeling and looking much better. My skin is still dry but eczema not quite so bad.

Early days but feeling positive! It’s been a bit of an overhaul really!

Cripes have your iron tested
. Mine was through the floor and I have started to feel so much better since upping it diet and supplement wise.

Lovely to see your update. Glad you're feeling better. Don't know if I mentioned, but I've seen lots of ppl recommend Moogoo products, especially the Milk Wash and Udder Cream. The Milk Wash is out of stock atm but I'll probably them a try when I can get it.

I also really like this sheetmask. Doesn't irritate my reactive skin at all and feels nice and hydrating. Just a thought for a quick fix when you're travelling.