Are you wearing well?

[ShouldHaveListenedInBiology]

As in, ageing. I am 39, I’m lucky enough to have decent skin and as long as I moisturise well I feel like, facially, I’m doing ok. I use an Alpha H SPF 50 and that does wonders for me. But I took a selfie with a friend a few weeks back and my god - my neck looked like it belonged to a 90 year old woman. So I dug out some Dr Ceuticals neck and chest stuff and have been applying that religiously and I think I have seen some improvement. Tonight I was applying it and happened to glance in the mirror at my upper arm/armpit area and the crepiness has spread to there! Is this the beginning of the end? Am I destined to chase sagging wrinkly bits around my body with expensive unguents forever more? I lashed some Palmers Firming Cream on there. What next? Saggy earlobes? Elbows? And suddenly my toes have become wrinkled and sad looking 😭

Any other surprising age related disintegration I should be on the lookout for? And what do I DO about it?

Mum has only just started ageing properly in her mid-sixties, and even now she probably looks the same age as a forty something. Having a bit of weight certainly helped (she is a size 12/14 and always has been) but I think maintenance of that weight is the biggest factor - yo yo dieting ruins skin elasticity.

I do think it's better for men. Yes no massive drop in good hormones like we have. Their bodies don't go through childbirth, no menopause. They look fine with a bit of grey hair and a few wrinkles. Some look better as they age!

@delatron - society has conditioned us to find older men attractive (and older women as invisible), and so that’s probably why. This is changeing slowly across the world and so maybe in the future women won’t he valued according to how young or perky they look.

So depressing Duchy. I'm seeing more older women in films, adverts etc so hopefully things will change.

I guess nature also plays a part. The fact that men can reproduce until much older yet women are more fertile when younger.

I'm 48. There are a couple of things that I've noticed recently. I've had old lady hands for a few years now - all skinny, veiny and wrinkled - really annoying as I'm a few pounds overweight so why on earth can't I keep that on my hands.

Also my arms. I go to the gym and I do classes and weights - still getting the dreaded flappy bingo wings.

Honestly I could cry sometimes .

I'd definitely caution against the botox route though. Went to a school reunion a month or so ago and most of us were aging well I thought - apart from one lady who had been gorgeous when we were at school and now had a strangely puffy face. Turns out she is a botox giving person and clearly had been using it herself. Perhaps its good if used subtly, but it certainly did her no favours and she would have looked much better without it.

rookie, puffy face sounds like fillers rather than Botox but agree overdo any of these and you end up looking older rather than younger.

I’m 46 and quite wrinkle free on my face
I think being a bit chubby helps, a couple of friends who have lost 2 or more stone each lately look like they’ve aged
By the way, I’m nit chubby to avoid wrinkles, I just like food but it’s a silver lining!

Everyone on MN looks at least 10 years younger, is svelte and never smokes, drinks or eats refined sugar.

I think I look better now (54) than I did when I was younger. Sure, I have a few wrinkles around the edges of my eyes, but I like my face much better now...don't know why, but I do. I have 'high cheek bones' which help! Never smoked and rarely drink alcohol and drink lots of water...so apart from my 'eye crinkles' my skin is clear and hydrated. Of course genetics play a huge part...I'm forever grateful to my 85 year old Mum who still looks amazing!!

We won't talk about the 'boob' situation though...although I'm blaming breastfeeding on that as they never really recovered 😂

@delatron -depends on your ethnic background. A lot of Indian and African women don’t go through menopause until their mid to late 50s - my gran bore her last child in her 50s naturally and that was 40-50 years ago. Even then, in India women older than 30 are often still seen as ‘aunties’ even by men their own age. It’s depressing!

Last children

Recommend mastectomy with Diep flap reconstruction. Everyone tells me I look great

Only fully dressed though!

Everyone on MN looks at least 10 years younger, is svelte and never smokes, drinks or eats refined sugar.

I get told I look younger but I don't think I do, I think people are either being polite or have a warped view of what someone in their late 40s look like.

I do drink, and do eat refined sugar. Never smoked and was overweight but now at the top end of the healthy range (BMI 24) so not svelte but OK.

I disagree that men look better. Most men my age at work are overweight and balding and have a complete disregard of fashion or style. They are scientists and engineers, it's all non-ironic beards and Dad trainers, they are a delight to behold the lot of them. In contrast the women in their 40s and 50s are slim, fashionable and stylish.

I'm single and dating, most of the men my age or older look awful compared with the women. I don't know or meet women over the age of 40 that I think are aging badly. They all look fab, dress well, a lot better than similar age bracket men.

And I definitely look fantastic, not for my age, but just hot as fuck. It's taken me a while to accept that though. I turn heads, women and men admire me. But if I admit it, I get shot down. It seems as women, it is only acceptable to put ourselves down. Anything else and we're considered "vain"

I’m early 40s and look okay. I’m dull as fuck though and don’t really drink and haven’t smoked!

Lots of time outdoors has pigmented my skin though. I’m happy overall thigh. Age is a privilege denied to many

Didn't know that about menopause duke. I do think on the whole Caucasian women don't fair as well in the ageing process. Particularly fair, freckly ones like myself! My mum went through early menopause too at
40.

Apparently the biggest hit is in your 50's, and 60's. Hopefully by then I will no longer care.

I'm 51. I look OK (not amazing, but I make an effort) and I do care, why would I not? Because I'm past it?

Fucks sake.

expat Have you got a camera in my house?.

Sometimes I drink but I go long periods without booze.

rightknockered what do you do in particular to maintain your looks? I am going into my 50s soon and would like to keep taking care of myself.

I mainly just take care of my health. I do the usual: weight train, yoga, running, HIIT, eat clean with occasional treats and the old glass of wine/vodka. I don't really eat sugar ( apart from alcohol, or the very occasional home-baked cake or celebration cake on a birthday etc.). I drink a lot of water, and treat myself well. The best things I do are the ones the reduce stress. The biggest stress reducer for me was the decision to cut out toxic people from my life, and choosing to ignore those who want to always argue.

Although I think I've been lucky genetically. My mother has great skin and is almost wrinkle free at 75. My main aim is to avoid diabetes, angina, arthritis, high blood pressure, all the things that my mother suffers from.

I’ll soon be 50, I looked ok till about 45, now I look raddled which is a bit of a pisser since I stopped smoking 4 years ago!

Thanks I do find it inspiring to hear from women who are happy with how they look. Good thread.

I want my focus to be on health and reducing stress as I move into my 50s, and this year have cut out cakes, biscuits, and alcohol apart from on special occasions.

An (unrelated) injury last year stopped me from continuing with weight training but it’s probably ok to take it up again now.