Do you either have "it" or not?!

[mrtumblesmum]

So today I sweated through the day, yanking up my Jeggings, and feeling like a fat frump in the heat. I try to follow all the 'how to look good tips' but somehow never manage it! Do you either have "it" or not or can it really be bought or achieved?

Hmmm, I think it comes 'easier' to some people alright, but I think a lot of it is just about confidence.

It can be be achieved. With more effort for some than others.

My parents are French. My older siblings (who were born there and lived there for at least a little while) have "it", myself and my younger siblings just don't. It's odd. I've worked it out now, but it too my a long time. My younger sister still wears fluorescents and isn't bothers yet (she's 19). It definitely takes me more effort to look nice and "together" than for my older siblings.

Some people do have an innate sense of style and confidence and carry themselves a certain way so yes I agree some people do just have “it” but I think you can acquire it, it’s pretty much being confident and self assured.

I think you can develop it if you stop caring about what is in fashion, start dressing for your body shape and colouring. When younger I would discover what worked through trial and error, but now have learned how to do this purposefully by being aware of which colours suit me. As my confidence has increased, I've tried different combinations, and also stopped feeling self-conscious.

Oh and i accessories more, even just adding a belt makes such a huge difference.

In my head I 'have it' but when I see photos of myself, I am far from the image in my head. What I see in the mirror when I get ready is just a snapshot of me, looking at my best angles. 99% of the time I don't stand like that, tilt my head like that or walk in the way I picture myself to walk.

My hair looks ok as I'm doing it in from of the mirror but as soon as I've walked away from the mirror and start doing my normal walk, posture, my hair goes all in my face, with a centre parting and I end up pushing it all back and tucking behind my ears which automatically makes me look so unstylish. I like my smile when it's closed but as soon as I show teeth it really changes my entire face, and I look wonky faced due to teeth shifting. I also noticed that I come across as not very confident in my walk and posture, I never know what to do with my hands/arms if I'm not holding something.

I think people who carry themselves well, with grace and confidence have it and don't always need to be groomed or polished to look like they 'have it'

Well step away from the jeggings in this heat and switch to wider leg trousers and culottes in natural fabrics. You'll find the air flowing up your legs very cooling, narrow legs trap heat close to the skin.

Go for floaty style tops that skim your upper body rather than strappy vest tops which give the over stuffed sausage look. ASDA do a nice floaty vest top for £4 in lots of different colours. Definitely the less akin you have on show the more elegant you look. Pink, boiled lobster skin doesn't look good on anyone.

I used to, but now I've lost it.

It's shit

It takes time and effort and knowing what suits you and how to work the various trends. Great skin and a good figure make it a million times easier in my opinion, especially when it's hot!

I agree that it is mainly about confidence and not projecting that you hate your arms or stomach. It's also about purposefulness though. You can tell those who only buy things they really like from those who have just dug out something they bought 3 years ago from Asda on a hot day. I am definitely guilty of the latter in summer.

Wear clothes that you get on with, and that you feel comfortable in. There's no point wearing jeggings if you have to keep pulling them up!

I have never had it! And I never will - I have a head of frizzy, fine, straw-like hair. The only day it has ever looked good was my wedding day after a long time getting it done. I think hair is so important.

I’m not sure that you know if you have it. My boss has it. She always looks fabulous, beautifully dressed, perfect make up, glossy bouncy hair, etc. I was chatting to her about a forthcoming black tie do and she told me she had no idea what to wear, hated black tie, could never get it right, etc. I’ve never seen that woman look less than immaculate but she’s just as hung up as I am!

Your jeggings are too big, I spent years honking mine up till I realised they were too big.

I struggle to get some of mine on but they don’t fall down.

@Flamingolingos can you link to the floaty top please?

I used to have 'it' but have spectacularly lost it. I think when I'm not feeling particularly good about myself I make even less effort because I don't want to draw attention to myself. When I feel ok, I make more effort with make up, accessories etc. Sounds completely arse over tit and I don't know why I'm like that.

I definitely don't have it, no matter how hard I try. Seem to buy nice individual things but putting a nice outfit together is not something I can manage. I just always seem to get it wrong.

I would love to get someone to go through my wardrobe and put outfits together. I'd be afraid that most of the stuff I own would be going into a get rid pile.

I recently said to a friend I have no style and she said that is your style. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.

Going to Spain in a few weeks to a music festival. It's not a field and camping based one so I have zero idea what to bring and wear. I want to be comfy but don't want to look like a hot sweating mess either.

I've got to wear a brass band uniform all afternoon in this heat. I don't know if I usually have 'it' but I'm not going to have it today, that's for sure!

I truly believe, though, that it's all about wearing what makes you feel good not a brass band uniform.

I definitely don't have it. Especially in summer when I swell up like a big red balloon, no matter what I wear. And my weight has rocketed this year due to stress. So I'm extra conscious.

Sometimes buying things a size bigger helps to make things skim better. I'm trying to cope with my size label demons. It's not easy though.

Flamingos that Asda vest is a god send! I wear mine under a jacket, t deep-ish V neck gives a bit of oomph and it hides my awful stomach!

I can let you know - I've booked a session with a personal stylist. I don't think I have 'it' but hoping I can buy 'it'

Baby will be very interested to hear how you get on with the stylist.

Iheart I do tend to stick to what I like and feel good in but in my head it looks like I am flung together. Accessorizing not strong either. Tend to wear quite plain gold or silver..

I stick to grey, white, black for most stuff. Buy colours but they tend to languish in the wardrobe until I charity bag or pass onto someone else. My mum and sisters have done well out of those buys.

I just want to be a bit more polished.

I don't think I have an innate sense of style - I get it wrong sometimes and I've certainly lost my way on occasions in the past. But I love clothes and I like experimenting. I don't stick to tried and tested looks because I get bored. Sometimes I don't even stick to what suits me - if I really like something, I find a way to make it work. I think we worry far too much about making mistakes.

I can tell what colours suit me though so maybe that part's innate.

@WTFsMyUserName - you say you don't know what to do with your arms. When you are standing or walking, if you become conscious of your arms, pretend that you have a heavy stone in each hand. "Holding" the stones makes your arms stay by your sides and your hands look natural- you won't be able to fiddle with your hair or earrings because your hands are busy. This works well for times when you know you are being observed (work things etc) or even just if you become self conscious walking down the street.

Asda v neck swing vest

@MayFayner that's really useful advice, I will remember to carry the stones at all times! Thank you