Your mum's influence on your S&B habits

[MrsMarigold]

If I don't have a good haircut I can literally hear my mum telling me not to be a slob, also she always looks groomed and wears dewy no-make-up make-up, I now aspire to do the same. Also always wear red shoes if you feel low.

Things I'm less keen on is passion for tights, she always wears them and her inability to moisturize her feet and slough off dead skin.

Otherwise I'm proud of her she is 77 and looks ten years younger.

Dm influences me in that I strive to do the opposite of her!
She wears high heels to walk the dog. Me-No heels ever!
She wears floral dresses. Me- plain shirts and trousers.
She likes a bum warming waterproof. Me-cropped denim jacket.
She changes how she looks to please her dh. Me-still aiming for same look I did 30 years ago.

Heels to walk the dog . You sound much more stylish op.

I often hear my late mum’s voice in my head when I’m trying clothes on. Especially a dismissive “Fussy.”

She was a very stylish woman who looked after herself and always looked good. One of the last things she said to me before her death was a sad “Who will look at the back?” I knew she was talking about my wedding dress, even though this was long before I’d met my Dh and I wasn’t remotely interested in marrying anyone.

When I did find myself trying on wedding dresses many years later, I was very conscious of how they looked from behind and thought a lot about what she’d think of them.

Similar to a PP, my mum inspires me to do the opposite! She’s never been into style or beauty at all and has never looked after herself or made an effort to dress herself stylishly. I guess in itself that’s taught me a lot- as much as I love makeup, I wear it because I enjoy it and have never felt a pressure to wear it plus feel confident leaving the house without it, probably from growing up watching her do the same.

I vividly remember her scolding me as a teen when my room was messy and saying that no matter how much ‘slap’ I put on my face, looking put together on the outside doesn’t work if you’re not put together in every other aspect of your life. That’s something that’s always stuck with me and has translated into me being very conscious of wellness alongside beauty as well as the whole ‘beauty comes from within’ philosophy.

She was always brutally honest with me when shopping and whilst she was never stylish, she did stress the importance of dressing for your body shape/type. So whilst I may look back at pictures of some of my teenage/twenties outfits and cringe at the fashions, never have I seen a picture where I’ve thought ‘who on earth let me leave the house looking like that!’ because I was wearing something really unflattering. Her honesty meant when she told me I suited something I knew it must look good or she wouldn’t have said!

Also, she has horribly bitten nails (think right down to the nub and peeling off). Growing up I was embarrassed that my mums hands looked so messy and unfeminine compared to my friends’ mums who always had pretty manicures, and this has led to me being someone who always has preened and painted nails

My mum always said that chipped nail varnish looked 'common' along with worn down heels on shoes, and eating in the street. She has very fine hair and had to have it permed regularly but would never let me touch it or play with her rollers, so I used to put my Dad's hair in rollers instead! He's nearly 80 and still has a full head of thick wavy hair.

Eeek I love my mum and think she is fabulous but she is not stylish. She buys all her clothes from Evans, sensible flat shoes from ecco, has never dyed her hair or plucked her eyebrows and the only make up she wears is lipstick on special occasions.

I guess I'm not very high maintenance compared to many but definitely nothing like my mum.

My dmum is one of those lucky sods - without trying, naturally beautiful with perfect teeth, lovely skin and good figure. Her style is nothing like mine.

She never bothered with make up never even had any lipstick I could mess about with. My dsis who's 7 years older than me had be be my supplier

I am far more over invested in the whole style and beauty thing.

My DM likes to stick to what she knows clothing wise, although she does know what colours suit her. After close to 18 months of gently suggesting it, we’re no closer to a bra intervention.

I was once told that wearing a pair of red heels would give people the “wrong impression” yet now I’m older she is more inclined to ask what I think RE: clothing choices. And she does always tell me when she thinks I look nice/ what I’m wearing suits me

Nothing, I'm make up obsessed, wear skirts and dresses all the time and have waist length hair, my mum has short hair, and never wears skirts or make up. I'm a Goth who likes to mix things up on occasion, my mum is quite 'mumsy' in the way she dresses. I still consider myself fairly low maintenance despite all that.

My mum is 80 & glamorous. Dresses well, immaculate makeup, hair always done, the same weight she was at 20. I am not in the least bit like her. Mum despairs of me.

My mum had a (luckily very slow progressing) cancerous growth on her face while in her mid ‘30’s. That was back in the 80’s so I have always been super careful about sun exposure. My mum drilled it into me. She also has always been very interested in fashion and looking a bit different. My grandad would not walk down the street with her when she was a teenager. I’ve always been a bit daring with clothes. 12 year old DD has started to really experiment with clothes and hair.
Only difference is my Mum was a hippy and always preferred no makeup or natural looking makeup. Whereas both myself and sister are makeup addicts. Plus we both love a bold lip colour. My mum has never worn red lipstick ever 💄

My mother always wore fussy clothing and was always overdressed. Couldn’t go out without makeup and hair teased within an inch of its life. I remember going on a school trip (15yo) to Europe and for the flight she made me wear cream trousers and a cream silk type oussybow blouse. . Everyone else was in jeans and tshirts. How I longed for a pair of jeans and sneakers my whole childhood.

Now I wear clean lines, jeans and t’s, barely bother with makeup and am very low maintenance

My mum had no influence on me from about 12, I took no notice of her left home at 18 and moved in with my G.F
rarely spoke to her again the gay community became our family , they weren't as critical as my mother ,gay community were much more fun , I never looked back

My mothers loss , she couldn't accept me as being a lesbian , thinking it was a phase I was going through ha ha

Another who did the opposite.
My mom is 84, same figure as when she was 20. Looks much younger, dresses in the latest fashion.
But she spends hours looking perfect, sometimes starting the preparations the night before, always runs late. Refuses to be seen without makeup. Finances dedicated to make up, clothing and jewelry means the dishwasher/wash machine/drier...are in very worn out state with no plans to upgrade them.
Then there is the plastic surgery, and facial peals....

My mum had no interest in her appearance and I think that it made me realise that not every woman HAS to be stylish/made-up etc to be a valid human being. She wasn’t against styling etc, she just never mentioned it.

I take care of my appearance but it’s not my defining characteristic.

I’m actually quite similar to my mother in that we mostly wear t-shirts and jeans/tracky bottom-type trousers. I’m more likely to wear dresses/skirts than she is, though. Neither of us are particularly into makeup. I’d like to be more into it, ie wear it more often, but I can’t ever seem to be bothered. I’ve bought myself a fair bit over the past few months but barely ever wear it

My mum is a seamstress. Years of watching her make clothes fit actual bodies has left me a bit obsessed with properly fitting clothes. It’s actually quite prohibitive. She alters most of my clothes- even cheap Primark stuff and kids clothes. Well fitted clothes do make you look lots better, but sometimes I wish I could just walk in a shop and buy something. I do try.

I can’t sew. Never been taught as she wanted me to have a better job... I’m a bookkeeper... at a scrapyard.... in perfectly tailored clothes.

@weekfour, I love that - can I borrow your Mum?

My mum is lovely, but not stylish - leggings and jeans and polyester. However, she has the longest legs known to man and is still white blonde naturally, so she gets away with it.

I on the other hand am small and dark and obsessed with clothes and grooming (which is why I spend so much time lurking here). But like PP, her lack of giving a shit instilled confidence in me for those days when I have to fly out of the house in a pony tail and no makeup.

From a very early age my mom taught me to look after my skin. She was never without oil of ulay (as it was then), she never wore makeup other than a dab of face powder and lipstick. I have always had really smooth skin albeit a few small lines now. I used to wear a full face of makeup but as I've aged I think my skin actually looks better without it .

She's always had short hair, never coloured. Mine had been all lengths, styles and colours.

As for clothes, I'm totally opposite in style and taste to the extent that if she comments these days that I look 'nice', I will probably never wear that thing again.

My slightly elder sister is a carbon copy of our mom.

So basically skincare. Thanks mom

I didn't really go clothes shopping with my mum once I was old enough to go on my won. I wonder how common that is?

DM drilled into me the importance of looking after your skin, so I've been cleanse, toning and moisturising since I was 12. DH jokes about my nightly 'routine' but it comes automatically to me .

DM has a boho look she curates well; my style is the total opposite (she describes my style as 'neat'). One thing she never got round to doing was taking care of her feet. As a child she'd get me to rub them and I vowed that I'd always make mine look pretty with no rough skin and painted nails. I guess I sound pretty high maintenance but I always have a manicure & pedicure and keep up with waxing, threading etc. I acknowledge I do have a bigger budget and time to do this. DM always does her hair and make up before leaving the house, her ethos is, get ready for the whole day at the start of the day, otherwise you'll run out of time and other things (looking after kids, grocery shopping, work etc) get in the way.

I'm basically a clone of my mum , I dress slightly younger as I'm 26 and she's 45 and we have very different skin colour and features. But style wise we are pretty similar.

Many people have tried to borrow her @ProjectGainsborough !! She works in a fancy dress shop and gets a mean discount on stock. I really should force her to teach me some stuff. It takes me about twenty minutes to sew name labels on uniform.

She also has instilled the importance of a good belt. The world looks a whole lot better if you can cinch it in a bit.

Ha, not a fancy dress shop where you can buy a clown out fit. A dress shop for fancy occasions. We’re not clowns.