I am an absolute mess - help!

[BlueTrousers]

I need some help, I actually hate leaving the house at the moment as I look so awful - I don’t even know where to start

I had a 4th DC in January (she’s bloody gorgeous btw!) but -
I’m still carrying about an extra stone/stone and a half, plus my stomach muscles split in pregnancy so my stomach is saggy and I can’t suck it in
Had a c section in the end and my scar is still very very big and visible
My hair is falling out (always does after a baby) but is also really really greasy, literally within hours of washing
Since I had the baby my skin is vile, spots all over my chin/jawline/neck plus it’s weirdly shedding! I can literally roll my fingers over my face and skin just comes off
I have huge patches of dry cracked eczema that I’ve never had before
My eyebrows are a mess
Nails are a mess
Teeth are yellow
Bags under my eyes
Pale
Can’t wear make up as it just makes me look worse with my weird skin
No clothes fit - pre pregnancy clothes too small, pregnancy clothes too big and misshapen

Just eurgh!!

I used to be the person who wouldn’t even pop to the corner shop without a full face of make up and my hair done
My poor DP must just be looking at me and thinking - ‘this is not what I signed up for’

Has anyone got any amazing 2 minute things that will fix all of my issues? Pretty please??

Firstly, congrats on your baby!

You need to be kind to yourself here. Start with small steps
Drink more water
Have a wardrobe cull and ditch anything really frumpy
Take postnatal vitamins and eat plenty of good fats for shiny hair - avocados, oily fish etc
Try to get out for a walk every day to burn calories and get some sunshine

Do you have a supportive partner? Can you find an exercise classes you really enjoy one evening a week?

Do you have a budget for some flattering clothes? Skimming, draped tops with short sleeves, harem pants, nice dresses in Jersey are all easy to pull on with some jewelled flip flops.

I've put on loads of weight recently and feel crap. Just got to suck it up and eat better I guess. It's really hard but there's good support here 😊

Congrats Op and sorry you’re feeling so grim. A lot of this sounds like you need iron and maybe other vitamins and minerals. I’d start taking an iron and vitamin supplement like feroglobin asap, but also see GP in case you need tests.

Are you getting any sleep and are you bf? It might improve as you get more on an even keel. For stomach, wear high-waisted light control shorts (cheap at Tesco, tkmaxx etc) - I wear these since my secons c-section, they make me feel more comfortable and smoothed down if that makes sense. And will support the damaged muscles.

But I do think GP will take you seriously and should be able to help. The skin and nails things really sound like your body is lacking in something.

Thankyou both so much

rainbow I admit I’m being hard on myself, I’ve just managed to stay on top of my grooming to a certain extent up until the fourth baby then something just had to give, and it was what I look like unfortunately, and people are looking at me a bit longer and harder now and I just know they’re thinking how different I look
I’ve been trying to drink more water and less tea and been getting the headaches to prove it but I guess that just means I was drinking wayyyyy too much caffeine before so I’ll definitely keep that up
I don’t have much of a budget for clothes no unfortunately and tbh even if I did I’ve got no idea what I’d buy; what suits me, what’s in fashion, even what size I am, I feel like I’ve well and truly lost myself atm
I have never worked out a day in my life, tbh I’ve never needed to I was that annoying cow that ate what she wanted and never went above a size 10 (god I miss being her!) so I wouldn’t have a clue where to start with classes and what not! I do walk everyday already though, we have a dog, plus there’s no better feeling than pushing a pram in the sunshine is there

Queen I hadn’t even thought of packing vitamins, I was thinking it was just hormones, that is very interesting that you’ve both mentioned vitamins actually I will definitely pick up some (not great with needles so maybe just a good multi vit to cover all the bases?)
I’m combi feeding atm, but tbh baby seems to tolerate formula better than breast milk so I’m thinking of stopping altogether pretty soon, she’s a fab sleeper and has been sleeping through 9pm-7am since she was 3 weeks ... the 2 year old on the other hand still doesn’t sleep, I saw every hour with him last night! Probably why I’m feeling extra crappy and pathetic today
Will have a look in Tesco for some smoothing down knicks (wouldn’t have thought I could get these in a supermarket- amazing!) that’s definitely what I need, I’m very bumpy and jiggly

Thyroid issues can very often become apparent after pregnancy. You tick a lot of boxes here.
I had similar. Get some blood tests please.

Second get thyroid checked - I had my bloods done when my daughter was six months old. Easily treated with medication and I feel so much better!

Sorry you're feeling a bit lost at the moment. I would definitely make a gp appointment to discuss and have a trip to Tesco for the following :
Smoothing underwear
Olive oil - use this as a hair mask to help condition it and also massage it in to your face and wipe off with a hot flannel once a day, it really works!
Feraglobin and berocca - these really helped me in the early days
Sally Hansen hard as nails - this will help strengthen them and make them nice and shiny
New mascara
Try on a few things, they have a sale on at the moment. A new flattering top always makes me feel better.

Could you stretch to a haircut/eyebrows?

A little bit of self care can make you feel so much better about yourself. I hope you feel better soon

Thyroid issues is something I would never ever have thought of (I’m not even sure what a thyroid is tbh) but I’ve googled symptoms and I tick even more boxes than I’ve put here; snappiness and irritability, mood swings and very heavy periods - all things I put down to having just had a baby and hormones, I will 100% get to the GP this week and ask for a blood test
This would never have crossed my mind before thank you throwaway & dingdang

Alex would olive oil not make my hair greasier? I have put these things in my phone to have a look out for, it’s food shopping day today so I’ll be in Tesco anyway, will have to see how much they all are and which I can get
I’ve decided I’m going to get my eyebrows done this week, I used to get them done every fortnight and it really does make such a difference to your whole face doesn’t it, I currently haven’t had them done since probably before I was pregnant it’s only bloody £12!

I think a lot of it with me is I never want to spend money on myself, we have 4 DC and a dog and are currently having the house extended so there is always more pressing places to put our money and I always feel like it’s wasted on me because no-one cares what I look like while I’m a SAHM ... but I care and it will make me much happier, so surely £20 a month or so is worth it isn’t it? Isn’t it?? The kids could do with new backpacks atm though...

Congrats

Small steps first.

I'd start with getting hair appointment. You have my sympathy as mine really suffered after my son.

Next, go to a beauty salon and get your eyebrows shaped and lightly tinted. It makes the biggest difference to your face.

You need a good skincare routine for your face. Your dryness does sound a little extreme, so you probably need professional advice. I found elemis products the best.

Walking is great to help shed baby walk.

Cut back on sugar, eat loads of veg. Drink plenty water.

That's pretty much it

In answer to the olive oil question. No it doesn't make it greasy. I put a 50p size blob through the ends of my hair and sleep with it on, then give it a good wash the next day. Cheap but effective and great for skin too, both oily and dry.

Firstly, I agree with everyone else about getting checked out with the GP and taking a multivitamin. Drinking more water will also help so keep going with that.

For your face, start with a really simple routine and stick to it. I like the Liz Earle hot polish cleanser but you can probably get the same effect just by using any gentle face wash, massaging it into your face and using a clean, hot, damp flannel to wipe it off and buff your skin gently afterwards. Then massage some gentle moisturiser into your skin afterwards. I really like Nivea face moisturiser (the one in the white tub, not the blue tub, which is quite greasy). It’s cheap as chips, very moisturising and not too heavy. Do your cleansing and moisturising routine in the morning and at night, and together with the water and vitamins you should see a big improvement. In your position I would not try to wear makeup but just focus on looking after your skin, and get out in the sunshine as much as possible to try and get a bit of colour. If you want to wear makeup then maybe just a bit of mascara, or you could get your eyelashes tinted at the same time as getting your brows done. A new haircut will also help you feel much better about yourself.

If you can stretch to any new clothes, maybe get a new pair of jeans which fit your current shape (maybe stretch denim?) and some long, loose tops which fall to the tops of your thighs and cover your tummy.

Good luck!

No guilt on spending required as it's a store cupboard essential! -www.allure.com/story/diy-beauty-uses-for-olive-oil

Look up exercises for repairing split muscles. Nobody told me I had them but I got that odd mound when I used my stomach. 26 years on and physio for a loose joint has really helped and I no longer have a mum tum.

Lack of iron makes your hair thin, it takes about a year to recover I'm afraid. I had this problem when I had gall bladder issues, it took a while to show and a long time after to get better.
So maybe take an iron supplement, it works best if you have vit C with it too. The liquid ones are best.

Not sure if you can get bio oil in the UK but I had the same skin issue as you during pregnancy and bio oil sorted it right out, literally overnight.
If you have eczema, ask gp for an eczema ointment that contains beeswax and a small amount of steroid. I can't recall the name of the product but it was prescribed by a dermatologist for dc2's intractable eczema and again, overnight result. Good luck some great tips on here, hope you start feeling better soon!

Im coming back later to find out all the tips.

My tip is to cleanse your face before sleep and upon waking. That makes me feel a bit better.

I’ve found a tube of the eczema cream and have the name for you. It is Beta 0.1% ( the amount of steroid) ointment. Important to get the ointment, there is a cream version that does naff all. The ointment contains beeswax which seems to be part of why it works. Kicks eczema’s butt!

Having the implant contraceptive made my hair greasy within hours of washing so I switched to Superdrug’s own shampoo for greasy hair and coconut deep conditioner. Sorted it out very quickly.

It’s worth asking about the thyroid though.

No 2 minute solutions alone will perform miracles, but personalized help will ...
Visit a dermatologist and follow prescribed routine and products to sort your skin.
Try to eat healthily 80% of the time.
Buy a few clothing items that will skim in all the right places, just to get you through this time, until you regain confidence.
Hydrate from the inside and on the outside, your whole body+face+hair.
Get a professional pedicure with shellac, will make huge difference to your feet and is sooo relaxing (plus lasts more than a mani)! Nothing like a nice colour on beautifully pedicured toes. Little things like this will lift your mood.
Invest in a new pair of comfortable but very chic leather sandals. Pay a bit more than usual for the right pair. Your body might not be at its best, but surely you haven't changed shoe size, soyou will wear these for a few years at least.

For greasy hair, try Apivita shampoo. It worked brilliantly on my daughters' hair, and it smells fantastic! also their dry scalp shampoo is very effective. And all natural! I swear by ther Hyaluronic Moisture one, as my hair is fine and dehydrated.

How do you clean your face at night? Are you using baby Wipes?