Help me to look better again.. advice needed.

[singingpinkmonkey]

I had a baby last year and am still going through postnatal depression.
I'm on meds and am starting to feel better and a lot more aware that In have really let myself go.

While I've never been a supermodel I used to feel attractive and that i made the best of myself.
I now feel a bit lost and like I don't know how to reverse the effects of 15 months of anxiety and depression.

I need to lose weight to start with but also need a bit of an overhaul on regards to hair, make up and clothes.

I was hoping someone could give me their tips on feeling good and give me a bit of a starting point.

Also if anyone has any advice to offer on eating well I would be very grateful. I'm looking for a more holistic approach than joining a weight loss club or strict regime.

I just want to feel nice in my own skin again!

First of all please be kind to yourself! You’ve obviously been through a lot - and it sounds as though you’re coming out the other side. My advise?
Stop thinking that you need to lose weight. Think instead that you will eat well and start to move more. I think walking is one of the best tonics there is. It gets you outside which is always a mood lifter - rain or shine. Get out for a walk every day and I promise you you’ll feel better and it will do wonders for you inside and out.
Eat well - don’t follow a diet but eat three meals a day of food that you like. Stop when you’re full. Give up sugar, crisps and takeaways, they are bad for you and won’t do anything for you inside or out, physically or emotionally.
If you want to go shopping for some new clothes remember to buy what you love, don’t worry about the size buy the size that fits and looks good.
Get your makeup done at a counter in boots - benefit offer this service. It will give you an idea of new looks to try.
Get your hair done - works wonders.
Sign up to a yoga class.

First of all, - depression is horrible and it can feel impossible getting your life back on track even once you've started treatment! I suffered from a horrible bout of depression last year and really let go of myself (understandably) but am feeling much more 'myself' now, both inside and out. Here are a few of the things Ive done-

Every Friday, I treat myself to some kind of pamper. Obviously this might not be for everyone and I'm lucky to have the funds to do this, but it really perks me up and gives me something to look forward to. It also means that I start each weekend feeling great. Treatments I get are things like a manicure, blowdry (or cut and colour depending on how long it's been), LVL lash lift, massage, wax. I always feel much more attractive and put together once I've had one of these things done!

Once I was on medication and starting to feel a bit better, I began to get back into exercise and formed a routine. I started off with going for a swim once a week and eased myself in gently (our pool also has a sauna and steam room so my Sunday swim started to feel like a spa treatment!) and now I'm fully back into the swing of things I go to the gym 4 times a week as well as my swim. Exercise is great as it releases endorphins and makes you feel better about yourself, and it's also a space for some much needed 'me' time when you have kids. If you aren't big into exercise, why not start scheduling in a long walk with the buggy two or three times a week and start building it up from there? Once I'm in an exercise routine I find it helps me develop a better attitude to eating healthily as well.

Try to wean yourself off processed/refined foods and eat more fruit and veggies. There doesn't need to be a huge dramatic shift, gradually work on this slowly. Food is our bodies fuel and I always find if I'm filling myself up on fruit and veg I feel so much lighter and healthier and 'cleaner' than when I'm eating crap. It's like a cycle for me- when I eat badly, I feel shitty and my mood drops so I eat more unhealthy comfort food to try and perk me up, and it gets worse. Whereas when I'm eating healthily I feel better and notice the difference so carry on eating healthily.

Those are my main sort of points, hope that's helped a little bit.

Thank you both so much Beachcountrysidetown and Lifeaback. Just reading your kind replies has given me a boost.
I like the idea of trying to be kind to myself and I think the advice about eating healthily and exercise is spot on.
I am finally starting to feel human again and I’m excited to try and make some changes.
X

When I decided to lose weight after DD1, I made a conscious effort to go out for a walk with her every day. I bought a baby bjorn carrier and went walking round some fields (popular dog walking spot). The fresh air and exercise - and the routine of it - really helped my well being and I started to lose weight very steadily (I was eating as healthily as possible too).

Getting the exercise and losing the weight then spurred me on to take an interest in clothes again & getting my hair done etc...

Be kind to yourself. It is hard enough trying to find yourself again after having a baby without PND thrown in.
What were your exercise and eating habits before you had a baby? I enjoyed Pilates and running pre-baby but found it difficult to fit in going to classes now I have a child. So I now do 10 minute Pilates videos - the balanced life 30 day challenge on you tube is good - most nights after putting the toddler to bed. Once it becomes a habit it’s easy to fit in. I also did couch to 5K to get back into running. So think about what sort of exercise you enjoy / would like to try and work out how you can fit it in. A step counter like a fitbit is a good way of making sure you get a minimum amount of exercise a day.
Healthy eating: I don’t do diets either, but I lost 3 stone last year. Lots of fruit and veg and lean protein, not very much sugar or alcohol. Keeping my house a junk food free zone helps me - if it’s not in the cupboard I can’t succumb to it. I have a very sweet tooth so couldn’t bear to give it up entirely so I limit myself to 2 sugar days a week, the other 5 days = no sugar, cake, biscuits, pudding or chocolate.
Pampering wise: I also really rate LVL lashes; they make me feel pretty! Finding a lipstick that you love and wearing it might also help?

It ceryainly sounds like a little pampering are in order. Though please be kind to yourself first and foremost - to have the year you've had and progress through it is an achievement in itself.

My advice is similar to that above, if you aren't a frequent exerciser even aiming for 12000 steps a day can make a big difference. Or find a class/youtube video that you enjoy doing. Personally, I enjoy lifting weights - moving up a weight or managing another rep can feel great.

In terms of eating, I always think Swap and Moderation. I swap some of the less healthy items (brown rice instead of white, veggie noodles instead of pasta) but nothing is "off limits" - all treats in moderation. I try to make sure veg fills 2/3rds of my plate as well and drink lots of water.

For pampering, it sounds silly but doing my nightly skincare routine makes me feel fancypants. It's nothing expensive: superdrug miceller water, either a body shop or sukin cleanser, superdrug glycolic toner and then the hydrating serum from simple - but it makes me feel like I've taken time to look after myself. Getting your hair done can be a massive boost - what kind of styles do you like? What type of hair do you have?

For wardrobe, everyone suits a capsule wardrobe combo: good fitting jeans, white shirt, Breton top and black fitted tee.

What kind of styles do you like? When I'm a bit stuck for ideas I have a look on Pinterest and Instagram style blogs and use that as inspiration on my next shopping trip.

Ultimately, you deserve some time to pick yourself up and treat yourself

Try adding simple daily things that take minimum effort and you can get into a habit of doing.

I'd suggest - tinted lip balm (Burts Bees are nice), quick skoosh of perfume (doesn't need to be expensive), small piece of jewellery (ring, stud earrings etc). You don't need to think hard about them and they feel like a treat for yourself. You deserve treats :)