Sophisticated style

[ReanimatedMuse]

How do I pull this off?

I went for dinner with some friends last night and was struck by how bloody stylish they all are. All have individual styles but seem to have figured out what suits them, whereas I'm too often found in "athleisure wear".

Where do I start? I'm early 40's, well groomed. I dress well for work but need something more casual for weekend/evenings but I favour a sophisticated, grown up look.

Budget is good: I have a wardrobe and spare room full of clothes I buy but are never quite right.

Placemarking.

I’m trying to get to this stage myself.

Some things I’ve slowly picked up:

• hair and skin and posture and teeth and shoes need to work for me to be confident - the rest follows

• athleisure actually isn’t terrible - I’ve taken the time to pick things that really suit me and all match well and that really ups my confidence

• make allowances for location/ climate/ transport?

• it takes time and discipline and effort to get a coordinated look. I’ve had the budget and time for just over a year, and am only just starting to get the right “balance” of comfort and accessories and casualness.

• I look great in a fitted dress but I wanted to get my style more “modern classic casual” so I felt I looked nice but wasnt overdressed or overly projecting femininity and this was very hard!

• look for photos of women with similar build/ colouring to you as inspiration.

• I hate to encourage overspending but I think it does take mistakes to find your style? I have a boxful of stuff to ebay or give away To mitigate this, buying second hand or charity shops can help.

Thanks Mowershoed

Hair, teeth, makeup all good (as they can be!) although I could do with dropping a stone. I'm sure that'd help hugely.

I just can't get the balance right. I buy things that I see other people wear and look great in and I just don't seem to pull it off.

Eg. This weekend I have a formal ish lunch - god knows what I'll wear. I can't get find that sweet spot between corporate and casual

Come across the the Parisienne style threads! Loads of sophisticated outfit ideas there

What did you wear to lunch and what did your friends wear?

I bet that if you asked your friends they would say that you do have a style. Might be worth asking and going from there.

A good hair cut and colour makes a massive difference.

I have an hourglass figure and look pretty good in a fitted dress but always feel overdressed and silly dressed up . Hence I just wear jeans and tops so I don't stand out . Which probably makes me stand out more 🙄.... I too have very stylish tall slim friends which doesn't help !

The dinner was a formal evening (dress code: cocktail).

Examples of what friends wore:

Metallic pleated midi skirt, fluffy cropped jumper.

Dinner style velvet jacket, cigarette pants

Wide legged cropped jumpsuit

Lace ruffled skirt, silk blouse.

I wore a black dress. Perfectly presentable but dull dull dull.

For lunch this weekend I'll probably buy something from ted baker - again will be perfectly presentable but not the look I'm going for (although I have no idea what that actually is!)

Start with a mood board of looks and styles you admire and figure out what the common theme is. From there work out what from this type of look will suit your shape. Accessories can really change a look too - there are so many great and unusual costume jewellery brands out there now

Apologies in advance for the cod psychology and ignore me if I'm way off the mark but is it possible that sophisticated just isn't your style?

I ask because I too like that look on other people and once went through a phase of trying to copy it. All I did was waste a lot of money on clothes that were very nice and should have been right for my shape but that never felt like me. I concluded that style isn't only about body shape.

It sounds like you normally gravitate to athleisure - would a sophisticated version of that look work better for you? I think Me and Em do this quite well - expensive but good sales.

My sense of style is SHIT. My DM is so glam and could make a bin bag look good whereas I just can't seem to get out of a boring, grey, black rut. I'm now in a job where I have to "schmooze" clients at fancy restaurants and need to look sophisticated but can't do it for the life of me.

Following this thread with muchos interest!

Me&Em do silky cargo joggers that are very glam athleisure, which would take you to most dressy occasions with the right top. I looked at them on the website last week, but they're not marked down yet. In fact, from your descriptions of what others were wearing, it sounds as if Me&Em might offer you some good options for skirts as well.

Ooh!

Speaking of brands. Like I said I used to be a “dress” woman as that suits my figure

but that strayed into feeling I was a bit too vintage or “overdressed va va voom” for a night out with female friends.

Cos seems to be the “next step” for me. Very sleek and modern and sophisticated AND figure flattering. Don’t be put off by the models - they don’t do all the silly “lifestyle styling” in the photo shoots but the dresses look great on.

I'm definitely not a particular fan off athleisure - it's more that they have stretch and with a stone to lose well....

That said up might be right that I haven't found my style. I'm very good at identifying what I don't like...what I do? Not so much!

I would head to a personal shopping service at John Lewis.

But I like-

Slim fit trousers, block heel metallic sandals,
Deep v or round necked loose top in a plain colour with a jacket. Could be a blazer, or a biker. The with some sort of clutch, or small round or pill box sized handbag. The thinner the top, the better, slightly tucked in at the front. Skinny leopard print belt would look good. Maybe a couple of slim bangles. Jacket sleeves could be pushed up.

Or

Midi skirt, fitted top that sits at the waist band, ankle boots, biker jacket.

Wide leg culottes, fitted shirt/blouse tucked in in a bright colour, acid experiment green or maybe star print, little cashmere cardigan with a cool broach on the side and a small handbag and big tassel earrings.

I think a lot of looking stylish is wearing colours which suit you and shapes which flatter your figure. Once you understand your colour palette and what clothes will look good, you might feel more inclined to be adventurous/ more confident.
The Justine LeConte videos on YouTube are good for finding out your body shape and how to dress it. Think she has one on colours too.

Sorry I know you've said you're not particularly into athleisure but now I've been looking on Me and Em and I really like these I think they'd be great with a silk shirt or vest top. Or a tuxedo jacket.

Or these
Or these if you like a wide leg

Sophisticated but with a bit of a modern touch. Expensive but - in my experience - good quality.

Any good? If not please can someone else get them so I don't have to as I'm trying not to buy new clothes at the moment.