Mutton dressed as lamb at 26? Help?!

[Missnearlyvintage]

I have slipped into the 'shabby and chronically unfashionable' category with my clothing, footwear and general face/hair look.

Having caught a glimpse of myself today in my full length mirror in a very comfortable and practical outfit consisting of; knee length loose denim shorts, an ill fitting vest top, ill fitting bra, and walking sandals , I have realised that maybe I am at clothing and appearance crisis point.

I always go for comfort and practicality now when buying clothing, but will avoid buying new clothing or footwear if at all possible as I never seem to fit anything very well, and the whole process is demoralising. I have some wobbly weight issues which don't help this, but I am trying to rectify that, (I'm currently a wobbly 14/16).

I have spent this evening trying to find my fashion mojo again, by looking at all of the websites I used to buy clothing from when I was slightly more fashionable, but am feeling that if I do try any of these new styles now, I will just look like mutton dressed as lamb.

I imagine I am known as someone who never has makeup on (my face doesn't like foundation so I gave makeup up years ago), has plain hair (I'm just finishing growing it to donate it again so there's no style to it at all), and is forever telling others that they look beautiful or glam (because they do), with no hope of anyone ever saying that about me.

I'm hoping a haircut soon will help, and obviously as I'm donating the hair that will be lopped off I have justification for that change, but I don't know if I can buy anything new and have people looking at me thinking that I am trying too hard with new 'on trend' clothing and looking silly?

Mind you, I really didn't want to do the school run today after seeing myself in the mirror in my shorts and sandals combination earlier on, so I don't know which is worse really at this point.

Where should I start in this situation please? I feel like I've let my DH down too to be honest, and would really like to not feel ridiculous when I look in the mirror.

Thanks everyone, sorry for the long post!

Step one, get a better bra. It’ll make a huge difference to how you look and how clothes hang. I’d theres a bravissimo near you, get measured there, the dressing room alone will make you feel better!

If this is just about clothes, then don't worry about finding 'on-trend' clothing - just look for styles which suit your body. Get some good, supportive underwear and clothes which hang well on your shape. Don't try to fit into whatever is in vogue at the moment; just find the clothes that fit you.

If it's about more than clothes, then find the time to work on that. If you're unhappy with your body, then of course dress better, but don't hide behind the clothes - use this as the kick you need to do something about yourself on the inside.

You can find clothes for any size, and no one is going to look at you and think "what's she trying at" - they might think you look awesome. They are not going to judge you for dressing to suit yourself.

First off, you're 26!! I mean honestly you can wear loads of stuff, but I rec wearing your own style, who cares which age group it's marketed to - what do you like?
And goodness me OP this is such a trap, to think people will think you're silly for making an effort!
It's what I thought as a young teen - thinking people would pity me for being so delusional as to think I could improve my appearance - really the kind of thinking you want to put a stop to! I mean, have you ever had that reaction to anyone else trying to change their clothes etc? And people will readily admit they spend a couple of hours getting ready to go out for the day, or for a date or night out, so why would they think it funny that you do the same? If they do that's their weird little issue, not yours.

'Mutton dressed as lamb', that's a silly phrase I mean what kind of styles are you uncertain about, do you want to post some links?
If 26 is mutton then I'd put lamb at age ca. 13 or 14, glittery pink frilly stuff, which I suspect is not what you're on about! You can wear the same things 18 year old Topshop models are wearing, why not? You could start with just a few bits, gradually, and practice accepting compliments if that's something you anticipate feeling unprepared for.

Size 14/16 is gorgeous and you should be able to find clothes which flatter you. I've always been slim and it's really not the case that all clothes fit me well - I have to hunt too - if you think about it, how can you condense thousands of differently shaped bodies into just 15 or so sizes? Of course it'll be a bit hit and miss.
Am sad to think that you feel you've let your partner down - you don't owe him anything in terms of looks. I love clothes & am extremely fussy with them so do have a very distinctive narrow idea of what I like and don't like, and have been with people who dress unfashionably with the walking sandals etc, I didn't give a toss, who cares, it's such a tiny part of them and the importance of my dislike of certain clothes shrinks to nothing in view of their other qualities. I hope it's not him who is making you feel bad?

At 26 you will not look like mutton! But I think you have fallen into the trap of feeling you look bad so why bother? Obviously, if you don’t want to bother, you don’t have too, clothes and appearance are irrelevant to some people. But it sounds like you do care, so here is a plan if you like it:

1. get a bra that fits!

2. chuck put things that don’t fit or you feel bad in

3. get some shoes/ sandals that are comfy and you feel good in (you might need to spend a little more, don’t know if Birkenstock or converse might work for your style or foot shape?)

4. go somewhere inexpensive and try on a million things, buy a few that fit and you feel good in that will do for now

5. work on feeling wobbly- don’t lose weight unless you want to, but exercise (lots of housework and walking will do!) and reasonably healthy eating will make you feel less wobbly

6. once you have all that start looking for the clothes you want to wear and maybe spend a little more if they are perfect!

7. have fun and try not to worry!

At 26, you are young. Nowhere is it forbidden to like clothes. It is life-affirming and enjoyable for most people. Choose fabrics that feel good; shapes and colours that suit you; this takes time and effort, and some cash, although not necessarily oodles.

And guess what, you're allowed to stay interested in clothes and style choice well into your 90s, if it pleases you. (I'm not quite Iris Apfel, but getting there!)

Please do get yourself bras that fit and flatter. This is step 1.

Definitely get a better bra. It makes all the difference in the world.

Then get a couple of basic but flattering tshirts or vest tops (try uniqlo maybe)

Get your eyebrows done for instant polish, and a basic mani-pedi.

Do you need walking sandals? Toms, saltwater, birkenstocks all do nice looking sandals that are reasonably comfortable.

I'm 10 years older than you and am not ready to throw in the towel just yet! At 26 you are a mere pup

I hear you! 30 here and in the ‘two sizes bigger and a while lot lazier than pre kids’ camp

1. Get a properly fitting bra
2. Shoe wise you’re in luck as lovely comfy trainers are very in at the moment - you can get lovely comfy ones ones in neutral tones from primark etc for a few quid.
3. Instead of baggy shorts why not try some of the lovely floaty printed trousers that are around? Like wearing PJs and lovely and cool plus no need to bother shaving your legs Jeans rolled up at the hem are also comfy and ontrend without looking like you’ve had a fight with topshop

Your hair sounds amazing - maybe just plait it before bed to give it some movement in the morning? I also had balayage recently which makes my wavy long mousy hair look a bit more intentional and is very low maintainence.
If you don’t like makeup, don’t bother with it- but get yourself some really gorgeous sunglasses and earrings instead.

You are 26 - there’s no danger of you looking remotely mutton dressed as lamb (which is a horrible phrase anyway designed to put women down)

I guarantee that you do not look like mutton dressed as lamb.
And I've never seen you.
Ignore trends and shop for your body shape instead with colours that flatter. That way the clothes will last longer and you won't feel a try hard fraudster.
If you go crazy with new stuff you will lose yourself and never look comfortable. Feed things in gradually, pick stuff that goes with other stuff and try a million things on.
And I agree with everyone else, a well fitting bra makes a world of difference.

I understand how you feel op. I’m 32, a Mum, and the same clothes size as you.

I have always loved clothes, and still have some that I feel good in, but these are clothes I’ve had for several years now. I really need, and want to buy some lovely new clothes and shoes but I’m finding this an impossible task.

I hardly like anything in the shops or online. The items I like the look of from a distance are of awful quality or terrible fabrics, or do not fit properly. I stare at vast racks of clothes, and they either make me feel very old (I’d look like I was having a mid-life crisis wearing them), or they look very frumpy - there do not seem to be any half measures.

So many of the clothes are too short and skimpy, and many of the models are styled like porn stars. Even when I was in my early 20’s and a size 8-10, I wouldn’t have dressed in these clothes, or desired to look like a porn actress.

I’m in urgent need of:

Evening shoes with a small block heel and a strap to hold them on to my feet. All the shoes I like unfortunately have a 3 inch plus heel, or stiletto thin heels, and are often strapless too.

A pair of high waisted, dark indigo jeans, that are not skinny, nor boot cut or wide legged. I also do not want ankle swinging cropped jeans. I tried on several pairs the other day (none met my criteria exactly, but I thought I better give in), many did not fit, and the rest looked so frumpy, so I gave up.

A dress to wear for going out in (restaurants and bars). It must be knee length or mid thigh at the shortest and have some kind of short sleeve. I I don’t mind showing off my boobs, as long as I can wear a regular bra, and don’t have to purchase a strapless or other style bra. I don’t want bardot or split sleeves or cold shoulder styles, nor do I want my back exposed, or any cut outs somewhere strange like on my midriff. I also don’t want the bizarre wrap style that is like half a wrap across the legs and shows off almost a whole thigh, then your whole thigh and fanny when you sit down.

Some t-shirts with a tasteful design or pattern on them, that are not crop top length, or boxy cut and end at the navel. They must also not be so thin as to show the colour of my bra underneath.

I have trawled numerous websites, and pretty much the whole of Westfield, and just feel really shit now. I remember hearing my Mum and her best friend talking a few years ago when they were in their late 50’s, about feeling like there are no shops that cater for them unless they want to look frumpy and dress beyond their years. I really didn’t expect that a few years later at almost half their age, I’d be saying the same thing about people my age.

I'm 30 with two kids and definitely in that bigger than I'd like to be/no time or energy/worried about looking frumpy and crap phase. One tip I've found useful just this week is to have a proper rummage through charity shops for nice stuff, I've had some brilliant bargains on nice dresses and tops from warehouse, fat face, mango, uniqlo etc that all look hardly worn and made from decent fabric. And only cost a few quid. Obviously it's hit and miss but it adds a bit of excitement to clothes shopping as you don't know what you're going to find. I'm also off to primark shortly for the cheap basics, leggings/vests/sandals etc for layering.

I also need to get my eyebrows waxed and I want my nails done, it makes me feel a lot more polished and groomed and doesn't require a lot of effort from me!

Oo, I've also asked for a babyliss big hair for my birthday so hopefully I can achieve nice hair within 5 mins! Anything that takes as little time as possible is a big win with me, particularly when I go back to work after this mat leave.