Jowls. Help me please.

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45. Suddenly my jowls have appeared (or I only just noticed). Feeling bad. Today I got a long overdue haircut and I have to say that the haircut isn't the most flattering (new hairdresser), but it also somehow seems to highlight my jowls. What do I do pleeeaase?

Hardly ever wear makeup, and moisturiser is usually oil of Olay or something similar. Skin in readonable condition but have crows feet.

DP and I are drifting apart for various reasons, but he's adamant how important looks are to him and I thought I'd come home looking better and instead I could just about cry. Need some advice and a kick up the bum. Living in a new country and no one here I know well enough to ask.

you sound really down.

There was a thread about this recently. I am literally flying out of the door but if you have a look I'm sure you will find. It was in the last 2 weeks def

Here it is

I feel your pain! I just turned 45 and noticed my jowls/neck has gone all wrinkly. I saw a thread here recently recommending several treatments, but now I can't seem to find it again. I am not ready to be old! On the bright side - it could have happened ages ago!

My marriage is also crap!

Depending on your finances, I find monthly CACI facials have improved my Churchill Chops no end. Cheaper to buy a course. They are an electrical facial, originally the machine was developed to help people with facial drooping due to having a stroke.

Thank you ladies. I spent all afternoon child wrangling and had an OT appt for the evening but am now back home.

I think I'm a bit head in the sand about being down. Staring in a mirror at the end of the hairdressers was a bit of a hit. I have restyled my hair a bit (aka pulling it back from my face) and I look a little better, but I still need to start thinking about more to look a better overall. It's never been my thing and I got away with it because I looked younger than I was, but I can't hold out any further.

Thank you to the PP who mentioned the facials. I'll see if I can find them here. I wonder if face yoga works? I need to lose a few kg too - I'm not fat but I've gone all flabby and droopy. I look like someone's grandfather.

I'm. It sure my nightly wine helps long term but it's helping in the moment

Off to read the other thread, thank you newdocket!

I have to say staring at yourself in the hairdressers mirror is always a bit of a downer!

I'm 45 and I only spotted my jowls in the 6 months.

44 years olds - enjoy your un-jowl-y face.

Checking out the other thread too, I hadn't thought about facials possibly helping.

Hairdressers mirrors are THE WORST. Don't be fooled by them. I tend not to look and/or only go to the hairdressers with a full face of makeup.
Try contouring? I always put a bit of bronzer around that area when I bother to do my make up.

I think I'll need lessons to do contouring! I hardly wear makeup and when I do it's usually a simple mineral makeup base ... which 6 months ago DP told me now makes me look older (I think it's settling in my creases or something). I'm s bit scared of makeup now!

Good news, ladies! I’m 46, and I’m over the shock and worry. Freed from all 45yo cares- jowls and marriage related!

You only have a few scant months to go and you too can be ‘meh’ like me. Can’t change my jawline or my DH, but did learn not to give a hoot about either.

See you at the Club Meetings.

Yes, 45 was when I really noticed the jowls (and it's not a nice word either - few words can be more miserable than JOWLS). But now a few years later I don't feel it's such an issue - either they've improved or I don't notice them so much. I've been doing more exercise, and I also ended my bad relationship, so maybe I smile more :)

I think hair that ends around the jowl level is less flattering. Mine's short and I think this helps, or having it off your face.

Churchill Chops :o

I hereby bring this meeting to order

my new hairline is right at the jowls... i think that's partly what makes it worse. DP says it looks better than it did, but i think that's because he's tall so all he could see was the grey regrowth from above.

the hairdresser saw the look of horror on my face at the end of the cut. She'd tried so hard that i didn't want to hurt her feelings and just said my face was looking old and not that it looked older than when i walked in . She told me i should wear makeup and not in a subtle, add a touch of mascara type way

i'm not smiling much lately, but i do burst into tears whenever i read something nice someone has done for other people. it's worse than when i was pregnant Exercise should help, now if i can drag myself off mumsnet....

he's adamant how important looks are to him

which 6 months ago DP told me now makes me look older

She told me i should wear makeup

Jeeesus, no wonder you're not smiling much. You're getting a ton of prescriptive messages about your appearance that are dragging you down.

Between 40 and 50 you're going to look older, and I think trying to hide this is a mug's game. Yes have nice facials if they make you feel good and you like the results, wear make up if you like it. But also be proud of who you are and don't let people tell you you have to do something or anything to appear acceptable to them.

I can really recommend singledom. I still love clothes and make-up and taking care of myself, but I'm not trying to keep anyone else happy. Or you can develop this attitude anyway even if you stay attached. Let's face it in a couple of decades if we're lucky enough to still be here, we'll have jowls galore and we're going to have to own it.

I'm 'single' much of the time... he's away about half the time, travelling! Oh, except for the 3 kids from 2 to 9years old.... though they only said i looked 'strange' after yesterday's haircut!

I'm not someone who 'sees' stuff; i can usually walk past a mirror and not notice myself; but i'm very practical. DP is not so practical but 'sees' things; hates visual chaos. I love him very much and don't want to be single, but we are drifting apart and i can only change what i can change; maybe this is one of those things where i need to put more effort in. I'm sure if i learned new makeup skills i could do better i just have no inherent interest in learning them for myself , and sadly i do think i made the wrong choice of hairdresser this time around :-/

i do worry, though, that he gets focussed on what bothers him, and forgets to see what doesn't bother him.

i shouldn't complain really, i put minimal effort into myself and my looks; it's about time it bit me on the bum!

Retinol might help with any crepiness. Weight loss might help with jowls.

I'm a little younger but have never had the tightest of jawlines. I find water and sleep help the most. I bought this about a month ago facial tool and I really like it.
Using it while cool really helps with puffiness around the eyes too. And a LOT cheaper than suggestions on the other thread!!

Oh I’m 45 next month so I’m awaiting my jowls with baited breath !
I’ve been growing out a pixie cut and now have a chin length bob. I’m looking to grow it just onto or above my shoulders, so a bit lower than my chin.

OP does your partner know how you’re feeling ? It might be worth writing a letter to him if you find it difficult to talk about. Sending hugs, relationships are difficult

It can't be you making all the changes to try to get your relationship back on track. He needs to look at himself too.

I agree Mulberry, it can’t just be one way

I take it he looks like a God?

Ah, sorry, missed the part where he is effectively making you feel worse about yourself, emphasis on looks etc... That's a bit pants. FWIW my XH, note the X, started a not very subtle campaign when I was 50, similar stuff, but part of a general pattern of abusiveness. I need to add, that actually I looked younger than him, despite being 2 yrs older, and he used to get up in the morning with a face looking like it had been burgled. I mention this because he introduced looks into the arena, so he shouldn't have started something he couldn't finish. I am not saying it is this way for you Sentence but might be worth thinking about. I have my facials for me (and yes society, but...) new DH wouldn't dare start on that stuff. And consequently I don't feel as bad about my decaying mortal coil, despite being lots older than you.

I don't think he's doing it on an abusive way ... he just pulls no punches - If I'd rather he didn't tell me, I could probably say so and he wouldn't, but then I wouldn't know... the challenge of course being that he is very interested in looks and I'm not.

He's not bad looking and he's had operations / regular teeth whitening etc to keep himself looking better. But I don't love him for the way he looks so I don't really mind if he doesn't...