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Older lady struggling to be smart but comfortable at work

54 replies

blueskypink · 27/03/2018 16:56

Looking for suggestions! In my head I'm still tall, slim and elegant, but sadly only the first of those is true. I've lost my waist, I swear my boobs are growing - and starting to sag and I feel very frumpy. I need to look smart at work but hate wearing jackets. They never fit properly and I always feel constrained by them.

Over the winter I've been wearing smart skirts, with plain jumpers over the top (covering my waist) and smartened up with some nice jewellery. Nice ankle boots to finish off the look.

But what to wear when the weather gets too warm for jumpers? Too self conscious to tuck a blouse into a skirt or trousers and a blouse/thin top worn over the top of a waistband looks to me a bit unfinished and in need of a jacket.

Any suggestions for a largish lady in her late 50s who wants to be comfortable but smart at work?

OP posts:
falang · 28/03/2018 06:37

My staple work uniform (and I'm similar age and size to you) is black ankle grazer trousers and black long sleeve tops worn with flats. I wear a jacket when I need to go to meetings although I don't feel comfy in them either. With Red lipstick and red short nails in my mind I look smart and chic probably not in reality though.

Kitchenbound · 28/03/2018 06:40

Go with a personal stylist. You're not obliged to actually buy anything from them but they may give you a good starting place for what will suit you best. Once you've got a style in mind you'll find it easier to buy outfits - things that look like a sack on the hanger actually suit me quite well but I instinctively avoided them for years. You might be pleasantly surprised 🙂

SpeckledyHen · 28/03/2018 06:53

What about Kirsty Alsopp style dresses ?

Undercoverbanana · 28/03/2018 07:01

I work with a woman who is 68. She is very tall (to me!) and wears black leggings and long tops and boots or sandals. She always looks good. I know she has a good hairdresser and does her hair everyday in the morning. Not sure if she wears make up (I’m a bit clueless about that stuff).

Peanutbuttercups21 · 28/03/2018 07:06

Lapsang, all those dresses are exactly what I'd wear to work! If you have more ideas, I am looking!!

eurochick · 28/03/2018 07:09

What about Hobbs?

missmartha · 28/03/2018 07:17

I'm 68 and wear a lot of Cos.
To be honest I wouldn't stick to any one make as it will make you look as though you're wearing a uniform.

Last autumn I bought a pair of thick pink cord trousers from Urban Outfitters which were high and gave me a waist. Also a pair of thick tan cords from Mango which did the same thing. As we get older we do tend to get thicker around the middle, I call it a bee body, but the right rise on a pair of trousers or skirt will put it back again. It might be worth looking at their summer stuff.

Toast is another place for good and interesting seperates in great fabrics..

H&M do reasonably priced tops and they come in all shapes and sizes. and their summer stuff is coming in now.
Really I think a good, long tshirt is a great investment and not too spendy. Joules do good tops in nice thick fabrics and are better, imo at summer wear than winter.

Try not to hid your tummy too much, it has the effect of drawing the eye to the centre of the body. I'm not suggesting clingy clothes, but don't go too baggy.

For my hair I have a good cut and colour every 6 weeks and my nails done properly.
A good bag and shoes and honestly, no one is going to say "Oh look an older woman with no waist".

blueskypink · 28/03/2018 07:22

Definitely not Kirsty Allsop! Doesn't she wear patterned fitted dresses?

Undercover - I wear a lot of leggings and long tops (which would be dresses on other people!). In the summer I tend to wear linen trousers instead. But it's difficult to get that sort of look right for work sometimes. Jackets don't look right over those outfits and a long cardigan can make them look too casual.

I've just loved my straight skirt, plain v/round neck jumper, statement necklace, thick tights and ankle boots outfits over the winter, I'm trying to find something that ticks the same boxes (smart, comfy and camouflages tummy). for the spring/summer.

OP posts:
blueskypink · 28/03/2018 07:28

Euro - I looked in Hobbs the other day and all their clothes were too short for me.

Fitted trousers are a difficulty as they need to be long, which rules out most shops. But also, if I get them to fit my waist, they're too loose around my hips and thighs.

So I'm pretty much stuck with M&S and Next for trousersConfused

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 28/03/2018 07:29

Have you considered a personal stylist who is not tied to a particular store? Last year, I had a couple of school reunions where I wanted to 'look my best', so looked for some help. It took a couple of goes to find on-line shopping I found lots if image consultants happy to explain what to look for, fewer prepared to do the search for me. Having thought that I should be able to find things online myself, I have been very pleased with the results, but have only told a few old school friends that I have some help with my wardrobe. Still feels a bit shameful that I should need help, i have not idea why, really. I'm good at delegating and managing to a result in every other sphere of my life...

Kerrie will do shopping trips, I prefer the online shopping service. She puts together a board of possibilities and has an eye for finding things which I really enjoy wearing.

I went to look for the link for you to the service i have used, and found this https://kerrieellis.co.uk/business-image-women/ quote in another part of her web site, targeted at business image for women.

Hope you find the help that you are looking for.

LadyLapsang · 28/03/2018 07:44

I would definitely look again at Boden long, I am 5 ft 10 and many of their dresses are long enough. I am a size 12 but pretty long in the body, so I agree about the waist issue; I have to choose with care as otherwise the waist hits too high.

mickeymacca · 28/03/2018 07:44

I always go to Pinterest and put in an idea of what I like to wear and see what suggestions they have. Also find things like how to wear cardigans with skirts as some lengths are more flattering than others.

Older lady struggling to be smart but comfortable at work
eurochick · 28/03/2018 07:50

How tall are you?

blueskypink · 28/03/2018 09:12

5'11" but whereas when I was younger and slimmer I felt elegant, now I feel big and a lot of clothes make me look and feel frumpy.

OP posts:
theredjellybean · 28/03/2018 09:43

What about a summer version of your winter look?
Straight skirt, summer weight fabric, go for lined good quality so it still hangs well.
And short sleeved knitted top... There are loads about this yr... Boden have them, zara had loads... Really nice light weight knits with useful colours for work.. Navy, red, cream with contrasting trims on neck and sleeves.
Sheer tights and nice shoes... Done.!

I'd also suggest some really good underwear, it makes all the difference, hoick up the boobs and smooth out the bumpy bits and your waist reappears.

Just because your tall, a little more matures and possibly a bit voluptuous doesn't mean you need to wear sack like clothing, in fact good fitting tailored clothes often make you look slimmer

Floisme · 28/03/2018 09:57

I'm not sure how helpful this will be as it sounds like we're different shapes plus I'm short, love tailored jackets and work in a very casual ofice. But these are things that work for me:

I've updgraded my underwear. There seems to have been a backlash against the bra intervention threads but all I can say is I went to Bravissimo and never looked back. Yes your boobs could be growing - mine did.

Tailored jackets - I know you're not keen but I have a Vivienne Westwood (from the end of the sales at a third of the price) that gives me a great silhouette. I also have a more casual one in a cotton jersey by Zara - I'm not normally a fan but this is excellent.

At the moment I'm wearing a lot of trousers and I always look out for a side fastening as they're much kinder to the tummy. Toast normally have a couple and H&M do these 'slacks' - unpromising name but side zip, slim leg, choice of colours. As soon as it gets warmer I'll be going ankle length but not calf length.

I prefer a double layer tube skirt to a pencil, ideally with ruching - disguises lumps and bumps.

I get things altered if they don't fit properly.

As for where to shop: I buy mostly second hand which means I can afford Margaret Howell - understated and very cool and sometimes Vivienne Westwood who really understands women's bodies. Also John Smedley merino v-neck jumpers which hang beautifully. Apologies if they're out of budget - I couldn't afford new.

If I'm buying new, my go-to these days is probably Uniqlo - particularly the collaborations e.g. the Christophe Lemaire U range. H&M is going to the dogs but still has the odd gem (e.g. the slacks) plus I call in just to see what's current and how to style it. I save up for Toast - not the dresses but love the trousers and, if I lived near a Cos I'd probably shop there too (cannot make sense of their website).

I keep and eye on Me and Em and Baukjen. Another one that might be worth a look is The Fold - mostly executive wear and very pricey but looks nice.

blueskypink · 28/03/2018 10:57

Some very useful advice here ladies. I think you've hit the nail on the head jellybean - I don't want to wear sack like clothing but my height, lumps and bumps make it difficult to achieve a nicely fitting tailored look. That's why the skirt/top combo works well for me whereas dresses and trousers never seem to fit properly.

I think I will start with underwear Flo. My old M&S bras aren't doing me any favours I know - comfy as they are! Yet another problem is that I can't bear anything remotely tight around my waist/tummy as it makes me feel bloated. But I have got a pair of reasonably robust knickers that hold everything in and help smooth things out so I might look for more along that line.

OP posts:
theredjellybean · 28/03/2018 11:11

Good luck... While I am a different shape I also favour the tailored skirt and cashmere jumper or cardigan combo.
I like the fact they fit without drowning me but the ribbed bottom of jumper allows a slight 'blouson' effect up wind so to speak so skims any tummy rolls.
I favour short sleeve version in summer and had surprisingky fab results with asda elbow length summer cotton cardigans last year... Fingers crossed they do them again this year

blueskypink · 28/03/2018 12:04

I hope I can recreate the skirt/top combo for the summer - though I like a reasonably robust skirt and summer ones tend to be a bit flimsy/clingy.

This has been my go to skirt this winter, one of a few White Stuff straight skirts that aren't too short for me, especially when worn with opaque tights -
www.whitestuff.com/womens/skirts/navy-jemima-floral-jacquard-skirt/

OP posts:
Member212711 · 28/03/2018 12:35

A vote for Seasalt here. Not sure what they are like for the taller person; but as a 50+ sized 16/18 woman myself who needs smart clothes for work I do sympathise and am watching this thread with interest!

beguilingeyes · 28/03/2018 12:39

I'm struggling to find work clothes. I wish Banana Republic would come back.

MaudlinMews · 28/03/2018 12:46

Hi OP, have you tried Pure Collection? Also Beaujken. A but pricey but worth it.

Get a good hair cut and invest in good underwear. I’d second an appointment with John Lewis.

blueskypink · 28/03/2018 12:47

Am really liking the look of Sea Salt Member. I might even break my habit of not ordering on line (no shops near me). Wish their dresses were longer though! Look like really nice fabrics and designs.

OP posts:
ilovecherries · 28/03/2018 13:28

Seasalt usually have a concession in JL if that's handier for you.

theredjellybean · 28/03/2018 14:40

I think for summer skirts for work you need to pay for good quality fabrics, I wear pencil skirts and my summer ones come from boden and pure, as good quality, heavier weight fabric and lined...

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