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How to look 'put together'?

69 replies

shoelaces · 17/03/2018 16:29

That's it really. I'm approaching 40 and am starting my own business. I've never really worn make up and keep my hair short in a pixie crop style. I need to loose 2.5stone.

I'm not a typical middle class person, not raised by or lived in a community that is largely middle class. But these ladies will be my customers. From my age and upwards.

Where do I start? I don't have a lot of spare cash as it's all going in to my business, but I appreciate people need to 'buy' me as well as my products. So where would you start? I need to pull off being middle class Smile TIA

OP posts:
madamedepoppadom · 17/03/2018 17:11

I think it has a lot to do with not wearing random items that don't seem to have any connection with each other. So say if I was wearing a black top and cream trousers, I'd try to wear something cream or black and cream near my face (necklace, scarf, earrings or hair accessory if your hair is long enough) so it looks as if you put them together intentionally, not just took the first things that came to hand.

Also, it's very rare for me not to wear either black, cream, taupe or denim blue on at least one half of my body. They are my favoured neutrals - yours might be navy or dark brown, but you'll know which colours are basics for you. If I'm wearing two different brighter colours, it becomes even more important to bring them all together with another item that involves both colours. I read an article once that stressed the importance of the "third thing". They meant that you never look really finished if you just wear a top and skirt or top and trousers, you need something, whether it's a jacket, cardigan, scarf, necklace or maybe even something as simple as a belt, to make it look like a "look" and not just "clothes". I'm not quite sure what you're supposed to do if you're wearing a dress, as I rarely wear them.

An idea I liked from a different article was "all neutrals and one statement item". This could be an item of jewellery, leopard print shoes or perhaps one bright colour in the form of a cardigan or a watch.

You don't necessarily need to wear lots of make-up, but do wear mascara unless your eyelashes are naturally dark brown or black. I know one person who always wears red lipstick (the rest of her look is quite simple) and it instantly says that she's made an effort. I've been trying to do the same (with a slightly more subtle shade that suits me better) but it hasn't become an automatic habit yet. If you can find a perfume that suits you and isn't overpowering, you could try putting that on when you're going to work too, to signal to yourself and others that you're on duty now.

Dizzybacon · 17/03/2018 17:14

Sorry I haven't got an answer, I work with horses so I live in jods and wellies with hay for accessories.
However I do like to make an effort sometimes and this to me is what I would class as put together. And def my style

How to look 'put together'?
shoelaces · 17/03/2018 17:39

Thanks that all makes sense! And I do literally always wear just a top and trousers or skirt, or a dress. I don't do accessories either, which is obviously my problem.

Off to take a look at a very capsule wardrobe I think!

OP posts:
JulietteBrioche · 17/03/2018 17:49

ironed clothes!

TravellingFleet · 17/03/2018 17:57

Look at people who look well-groomed, and you’ll see they literally look like they’ve thought about what goes with what. So maybe the trousers tone with the top, a necklace picks out a colour from the top, the shoes are an appropriate neutral colour, the jacket is the same colour as the shoes, etc. Having the accessory (scarf, bracelet, necklace, belt, etc) that matches a particular item makes people assume you’re much more put together and organised than you necessarily are!

fuzzyfozzy · 17/03/2018 18:30

I'm not sure where you shop but I had a personal shopper session at Debenhams.
Tried on lots of things I wouldn't have and she sorted scarves and shoes etc.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 17/03/2018 20:01

I think neat eyebrows and short, well groomed nails in a neutral polish look professional. Small 'diamond' stud earrings( not too big and blingy), decent handbag (doesn't have to be pricey but not scuffed at all). Iron clothes and have a decent coat and clean, non scuffed shoes.

SweetLike · 17/03/2018 20:32

I think this is really individual. What is your business?

For me, I don't like statement jewellery and I find the whole match a belt/scarf/shoes thing as trying a bit hard. Some people do it very well, but I think it's one of those things that's been used as a top tip for so long that it has no impact for me it's just a 'meh' kind of a look. If you are working in the beauty industry I think it's a good look, but generally across the board I'm not very impressed by it. Sorry to anyone who does this, I'm sure you'll be the ones who do it well!

Well groomed eg. Hair that's not fuzzy from you running straight out the door after a shower, well kept hands, an outfit/shoes that are nicely ironed and in good condition (I think we all have our old favourites that we need to remove from the wardrobe because they're past their best!) count for me.

PP who works with horses and added a photo looks lovely and very fitting for her kind of sector, which I think matters if it's work dress. I work in an office environment, I'm on the younger end (this probably does affect my judgement) and I keep it simple, a nice dress (often navy, grey, dark green etc) with smart shoes or sometimes a skirt/blouse combo with a not matching but co-ordinating jacket. I also don't wear trousers, anything above the knee, or cleavage. Many people will laugh at me for the no trousers thing 🙊

PETRONELLAS · 17/03/2018 20:55

A good quality coat - if they’ll be seeing it. Really sets the tone, with some decent boots - but clean and tidy goes far. Powder on face, concealer and a slick of mascara and neutral gloss?

PNGirl · 17/03/2018 21:29

I have a really nice camel Burberry coat that I wear with a plain black scarf and brogue ankle boots; it's an instant dressier "look". However I'm ultimately a casual dresser and happiest in jeans, leather jacket, and chunky ankle boots. It's possible to develop a uniform that looks like you without dressing like your customers.

I think a blazer would be a good place to start. With some flats and slim trousers if you want to look business casual or jeans for just casual.

Farfel · 17/03/2018 21:30

@Dizzybacon, I PM'd you Smile

Crabbishelle · 17/03/2018 21:36

Full length mirror at home.

TBH you do need to put “some” physical time and legwork into this. This forum is awesome but you can’t look put together just by using a few “tips”. A lot depends on your physical build, what environment you’re going into, what your climate and commuting patterns are like , how “polished” you want to be,etc.

I’d go to a big store and get a heap of loads of stuff (channel your inner 15 year old girl) and try on EVERYTHING (a few wrap dresses, a few trousers in different cuts, a few blouses, coats, some plain knee length boots) I’d also try on things like plain black/navy cotton tops, white button shirts- these can be matched with more individual items to get a great overall look

Don’t be self conscious about giving ten products back to the changing room assistant if you don’t like any of them (and then coming back on with another ten) Have coffee, have lunch, try on more stuff. Do regularly.

You probably won’t find that everything looks ok but that’s right - unless you’re Cressida bonas there’s a limited range which suits you.

ApplesTheHare · 17/03/2018 21:42

A 'less is more' approach. Avoid acrylic nails and fake tan, make sure hair is in the best condition possible and wear natural fibres/fabrics as opposed to synthetics. Wear a maximum of 2/3 colours.

I find the look in the photo Dizzybacon shared tacky. The hair and collar of the coat clash and the combo of hat, glasses, bag, boots and coat ruff is too much. She looks like she's trying to hide behind these items and you want to make sure you are selling yourself, not what you're wearing. The effortlessly well groomed focus on one statement piece at a time and at least pretend it's old or inherited.

What will your business be though? That will help determine the best look for you Smile

mickeymacca · 18/03/2018 07:48

Get a shellac manicure every 3 weeks. I can make mine last 4 weeks and it costs me £15. That way your nails will always look good never chipped etc.

SouthWestmom · 18/03/2018 08:42

It's clearly subjective. I think the photo of the caramel 'look' is a chavvy version of the middle class caramel thing. Money isn't always the deciding factor - the TOWIE look is probably expensive but doesn't scream middle class, although it is put together in a 'i have considered my look' way.

I'd just make sure I had short clean polished nails, groomed brows (not HD or bladed) and smooth hair (curly of straight) as a starter with some fairly neutral clothes.

LauraRashley · 18/03/2018 09:09

Digressing, but what sort of business is it shoelaces?

I ask because I have my own business but grew it slowly without investing heavily and stayed in employment until I was sure the business could support me. I built up a few regular clients and my market grew by word of mouth.

My clients don’t care what “class” I am, or consider myself to be.

Floisme · 18/03/2018 09:10

A lot of posters seem to be interpreting 'middle class' as looking highly groomed. Is this what you meant, op? Because I guess I am middle class and that is not my style at all and nor is it one I'm particularly drawn to. It's also very high maintenance, which is fine if you enjoy the whole process but not if you don't and you've got a business to run! Plus if this isn't your natural style, you may not look comfortable in your own skin and that is not a good vibe for a business.

I would always start with how you normally dress. It sounds like you prefer to keep things very simple, uncluttered, minimalist. So I would take that and then push it. For example, I might look for some very simple but beautifully cut trousers and spend as much as I could afford on them - and get them altered for a perfect fit. Same with a shirt or a cashmere sweater. Same with your hair. Maybe think about whether you're drawn to strong or muted colours? Clean, simple lines or interesting shapes?

And, although you say you're not into accessories, maybe one interesting thing e.g. a ring or necklace. Something that could start a conversation....

That's just me but my point is that middle class women don't all look the same and we're not all drawn to the same things. If it's not too 'outing' it would probably help if you could tell us what kind of business it is. Good luck.

thethoughtfox · 18/03/2018 09:35

Eyebrows professionally shaped and tinted. It means you wake up and your face already looks 'done' A light easy to use BB cream or foundation. Try Make Up Forever HD sticks. They are incredible and the most skin like colours I've ever seen. You just swipe them on and it's great coverage but undetectable on the skin and very moisturising and glowy. A simple clear or clear with a hint of pink gloss on nails. All the 'big bosses' in my line of work are middle class women have their nails like this.

thethoughtfox · 18/03/2018 09:36

madamedepoppadom gave great advice

thethoughtfox · 18/03/2018 09:37

Simple loafers instead of ballet pumps and other flat shoes. Another vote for cashmere sweaters.

Butterymuffin · 18/03/2018 09:40

Agree on clear / natural / light pink gloss on nails. Some kind of lip gloss or neutral lipstick too makes you look like you've made an effort even if not wearing other make up.

pericexe · 18/03/2018 09:49

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shoelaces · 18/03/2018 10:06

Thanks everyone. My business is shoes but of the comfort type. So, without pigeon-holing my potential customers, research is showing me they will be 90% female, over 50 and mid-earners/retired with a reasonable disposable income.

I will be wearing shoes that I sell at all times! So with the advice on here, I figure I need to have a fairly neutral capsule wardrobe of straight trousers or skirts with shirts/tops that create a neutral look. Then use accessories such as a scarf to complement the shoes, bring out the spring/summer colours that the shoe range have launched and keep the shoes the star of the show. Am I on the right track? Thanks everyone for your help.

OP posts:
Ginza · 18/03/2018 10:09

Kate Fox's book ' Watching the English' has some interesting stuff on looking middle-class.

She reckons:
Not too much jewellery or make-up
Natural-looking hairstyling and colour
Natural-style grooming in general (clear or neutral nail polish and no nail extensions, for example)
No try-hard matchy-matchy outfits, especially those involving bright colours - you need understated stuff which goes together but doesn't 'match'
Less skin on display; upper arms normally covered on 40+ women
More matteness and less shininess (clothes and grooming)
Substantial fabrics, rather than thin or clingy
More layers and more clothes in general - scarves, jackets, etc.

LagoDiComo · 18/03/2018 10:34

Agree about a set colour palette, ideally one that suits your season. I used to think I shouldn’t keep buying things in navy but navy suits me and then a lot of your things go together and you can do a colour pop with a scarf or necklace or whatever. Just keeping it simple I guess

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