I want a short hair cut but I'm jowly, plump and puffy with frizzy hair. Tell me what to do!

[LongHairTodayGoneTomorrow]

I usually just scrape my hair back into a pony tail because I can't bear the sensation of it touching my face. It looks hideously unflattering, not helped by the fact that I am mid forties, look like I've aged a decade in the past few years (thanks hormone blockers and hysterectomy - despite the HRT since, I feel like an old woman ), a few stone overweight, have a revolting double chin/fat neck and where oh where did these jowls come from?! I really want a new look, and I've just started a job where I have to look smartish for meetings.

When it's a shorter layered bob sort of thing, I can cope with it a bit better, but still want to clip it back. I am tempted to go for a short hairstyle, but I haven't a clue what would suit my face shape and hair type. My hair is fairly fine and wavy, but the increasing number of grey hairs are coarse and frizzy like bloody pubes and it's very prone to wispy/frizzy bits in general, which you can see in the pictures.

I haven't got the motivation to do much with it and am not at all good at styling, etc, so it's got to be something low maintainance. I don't mind straightening it.

Any advice?

I don't think you are as double chinny or jowly as you think you are!
I reckon you could really rock a funky crop but that is a massive decision to make based on the opinion of someone who has never actually seen you.
I love Pinterest for photos, do you have a good hairdresser you could talk to before you make the appointment.
Or, how about trying on some wigs (although no idea where you would go to do it).

Literally everything you said isn’t true! You look like you have a slim oval face which can pull off any hairstyle. I think a side fringe and long bob would look nice

Ooh or a side swept pixie cut

You have an amazing face (I think!). Just be careful that, if you have a pixie, they don't give you a 'mum cut' (you might want to think about colour quite carefully!).

I agree longer bob, so below jawline, would look flattering. You could always go shorter at a later point.

There’s a reason the ‘mum bob’ is so popular. It’s really flattering for people our age. I had long hair for years and went for the chop a month ago and it’s taken YEARS off me.

Chin length bob that’s shorter at the back, sort of thing.

Ps you aren’t as jowly as you think!

Comme ca.

I think a long bob would be really flattering (more so than what you have now) maybe with some feathering/a messy fringe cut in? You could definitely pull off a shorter cut but that would probably require a lot of maintenance and faffing to look good daily which doesn't sound like what you're after

I genuinely thought you had used a model for your pictures?? You don't look anything like you described?! Give yourself a break, lovely!

Frizz- GHD's are good for this. If you straighten the frizzy bits problem sorted.
If they continue to stick out spray a comb with hairspray and move it over the top of the frizz. Magic.
Colour- a brown ish tone with a couple of low lights, highlights added in and a layering for texture. It will also add volume to fine hair.
A good hairdresser can help you decide on colour.
Style- just get it cut in a long bob (go on pinterest and look at long bobs). Then go from there.
X

I agree. The person you described is not the one in the photos at all. Hair silky not frizzy; good bone structure, no extra chins.
I'd go for a chin length layered bob with a long fringe cut in - the kind of cut that can look really chic and shiny or be mussed up to look a bit sporty and sexy.

Wow, you're being very hard on yourself. I'm in my mid forties and it's not a crime!

this would be very feminine

anybody with hair that isn't too thick and curly could wear this flattering style

You're all very kind. I'm not feeling very positive about myself at the moment, as is probably apparent. I need to lose a few stone, and that really shows in my face and neck (though if I lost the weight I'd probably be more saggy and jowly, so can't win, really. Thank you all for the input.

I'm concerned that a bob would give me the same problem - it would fall forward against my face, which I hate, so I'd be pushing it back all the time or clipping it out of the way. I tried having a proper fringe a couple of years ago and it drove me demented. I don't mind so much if it's pushed to the side, but I have big sensory issues with it in my face.

That's a really good tip about the hairspray on the comb for the frizzy bits, thanks page! I straighten them, but then they just stand on end. It's the frizziness around the hairline/ears/nape that bugs me, and the flyaways that stop it looking smooth. I don't use hairspray at all because of the smell and feel of it (yet more sensory issues - it's my Asperger's), but I've only ever tried elnett - maybe there's a better one?

Colour-wise, I henna it, so the colour of it now is what I'm sticking with. I can't afford to have it professionally coloured and then maintain that. Usually I only go to the hairdresser about once a year, whereas now I'm earning a little bit, I'm willing to go more regularly to maintain a shorter cut and look a bit smarter/feel better.

I was looking through the links that Jest posted, and I like this sort of style, but with the fringe pushed back a bit more. Would that sort of thing work, do you think?

That style is lovely and I think could work well in your henna colour.

I find Elnett on a toothbrush works wonders for the flighty bits at the top, stops them pinging back up after you've straightened. If you want something more long lasting, have a look into nanokeratin treatments at your hairdressers. It's basically to smooth and defrizz hair. I'm getting it done for first time next week.

Do you have a low hairline at the back? I can’t quite tell from the pics, but if so, please figure out how short you can go without it being a nightmare of having to get bloody neck shaves because otherwise your funky crop looks less funky and more disaster management.
Other than that, I could post pics of what a truly fat necked frizzy mid 40s woman looks like, but I don’t want to frighten the horses.
I love having short hair. But I can’t bear the rear view after day 2 due to the aforementioned neck hair issue.

I like your hair around your face! Can’t you learn to like it like that?

You look like me

We have a very very similar face shape and the same neck (i hate it too)

I have a very short spikey crop

If someone tells me how to scribble out my face i will post it

Happy to post a photo but because its face on you cant see my jowls

Worked it out

Ignore the glasses they are not mine and its the most unflattering picture

I really like your long hair. If you want to cut it, I'd go to the just below collarbone length that's popular at the moment. Or, keep it long and Google / Pininterest / YouTube how to do different updos (as you like it off your face).

To help combat frizz, you could try Moroccan Oil or coconut oil (the OGX coconut spray from Boots is good) on freshly washed hair (shampoo and condition as usual, then pat off the excess water with a towel, then apply the oil). Also a satin pillowcase instead of cotton.

Something like this?

Can I just add if you have sensory issues and really can't cope hair on or touching your face then you have only two options. Long hair, tied back as you do now or a very short crop like Rufus.

I am similar in that I don't like hair touching y face or in my eyes or mouth and have had a pixie for a while. I have just grown it our into a bob but the touching my face thing is driving me nuts especially as I wear hearing aids and can't tuck behind my ears anymore. I am debating having a fringe as I can cope with that feeling.

Btw, you're face is a perfect oval shape and would suit a variety of styles.

Thank you to everyone for the advice and input (and photo, Rufus)!

I had the chop today and I'm pleased with it. My fear was that going short would expose the dreaded jowls, but actually I think it being shorter draws the eyes upwards, especially with a bit more volume up top.

I have no advice op. I just wanted to say you have beautiful hair when it’s down.

Ooh, can we have a look OP.
Also, you are lovely, no more putting yourself down.🌸

Sorry for delay - was out all day yesterday.

I wasn't quite so sure about it yesterday (when I got up with it sticking up everywhere!). Washed it today, let it dry and briefly ran straighteners over it and it's ok, though I need to put a hairclip in one side to stop it falling forward. No product it it, though, as I'm going to henna it tomorrow, so it would look a lot better with a bit of something in it, I think.

Pic one after hairdresser had scrunched it, pic two today.