Resisting the urge to buy stuff you don’t really need!!!

[Notcontent]

I am not a shopaholic (I don’t think I am !) but I do like clothes and buy things reasonably regularly. I have noticed though, that every so often I do get this strong urge to buy things, that feels almost compulsive. E.g. I might see a jumper online and then keep going back to look at it and think “I don’t need any new clothes but that jumper would go with everything and really revolutionise my wardrobe... “. Anyone else? It’s probably about trying to fill a psychological need, as my life is quite stressful (lone parent and all that..)

Get no pleasure shopping for necessities.
Buying something I desire/crave is pleasurable.
I’m an impulse buyer!!

I do this. Even if I try to talk myself out of it, I turn it around in my head into "I deserve this/ I work so hard/ never get a break/ ex made me feel as though I deserve nothing nice and I do/" And so I purchase. This week I'm taking delivery of new Vans, new DMs (and we're approaching summer ), last week I bought some new bras but that wasn't satisfying enough. I want a military style jacket I've seen in Free People, can't stop thinking about how amazing it would look.

I am with you on this! I can identify with so many of the things posters have said here.

Yes to the treat yo self.
Yes to the one fab item = got to get matching bag, shoes, skirt or whatever to "complete the look"
Yes to the obsession over finding the "perfect" black boots etc.
Yes to "this is the very last thing and it'll make my life perfect". It isn't and it doesn't.

At the moment I am strangely not buying much - I am thankful that I don't feel the urge to, but I'm sure it won't be long before it starts up again.

I also see stuff online - Instagram or celebrities - and although I don't want the exact items they are wearing and I don't care for having the same item as a celeb - I still find myself thinking "I like the look, that's kind of rock chick meets ballerina" or "That's prairie girl meets ibiza" and then I want to recreate that look (in my own style/colours/items) but of course nothing I already own will do...

One thing I read a while ago that has stuck in my mind - and was very helpful - was "Shop your own wardrobe". If you have an event then re-use existing stuff, go see what you've got, do you really need a new sun dress or is the blue one you wore last year still just fine... basically try and get by events/days by using up what you already have. Turn it into a challenge. This has been very useful, I know it's obvious but often if I have an event to go to I want something new but now I'm doing better at wearing something I've already got. As for day to day, I'm wearing out my favourites rather than adding to existing stuff I've got that's only been worn once or twice.

I have a wedding reception coming up and I'm itching to buy something new even though I have dresses that would be perfectly suitable AND it's going to be a short evening do AND I don't know many people there so it's not like it's all my friends who have seen X dress before - nobody there will have seen any of my occasion- type dresses - AND it's not like any eyes will be on me anyway as a random guest so why do I care beyond looking nice and presentable in something.

Still not bought anything new. Still thinking about it though

I used to be like this buying random stuff I couldn't live without and then once I made the purchase lost interest and moved onto something else. It started when I was diagnosed with cancer. I'm an emotional shopper too. I now meditate it calms my mind, it works for me.

I’m very naughty with shopping. I just love it. I can afford it but I absolutely get fixated on quests for particular items. The only time when it is somewhat out of control is event dressing when I am going somewhere out of my comfort zone - that’s when I panic buy things that hardly get worn. Trying to focus on buying things that I need (replacing worn out staples) or things that I really really love.

I'm always on a quest to find 'the one' as in the bag I'll always have, my signature scent etc and when I think I've found the one I become all proud of myself and then after a week or so I then find the 'other one' and repeat the whole bloody process again. It drives me bloody nuts.

It's the hunter gatherer instinct compulsive and innate

I have sooooo many clothes. My outgoings have gone up by about £150 per month recently so I've banned clothes shopping this year apart from replacements. Here we are in March and I've only bought two things (one new "staple" and one replacement) and it's mostly very satisfying. Someone upthread said about putting it in the basket but not completing the purchase, that works for me too. Ask me again in December though!

Sorry, I should have prefaced my comment with "My name is (not) Charlotte and I'm an online shopaholic". I adore the anticipation of waiting for a delivery.

I could have written so many of these posts. For years I've been an emotional shopper. I dread to think how much unnecessary money I've spent on myself and family and friends over the years. I haven't had any income since mid November due to surgery and no entitlement to sick pay. I'm hoping to be back in work but until I am I've give myself a complete embargo on all but basic necessities.
I've used my convalescence time to sort out the house and have a major de-clutter and it's been amazing what I've found stuffed at the back of cupboards and drawers that I'm now starting to use.
It's actually been quite liberating in it's own way. I still enjoy looking at nice things on the John Lewis website and stilt watch a bit of QVC but now my hobby is fantasy shopping rather than the real thing!

DuckBilledAardvark, that CD sounds good. Perhaps I should add it to my shopping list! I was up til much too late last night seeking the perfect pair of grey high-tops online. Didn't buy any though and this morning not convinced I need a pair after all so quite pleased with my restraint. I know that if I'd found a bargain I'd have snapped some up. Need to try and follow PP's suggestion of only buying something in the sale if I'd pay full price for it. If something's reduced loads or marked up as the last one I am terrible...!

Re the technique of adding something to your online basket, do you never find it can backfire? If I've got it all loaded up there is always the possibility of pulling the trigger in a moment of weakness.

My approach of treating all temptation the same way regardless of the price is similarly flawed. The idea was that I'd feel more expensive stuff was off limits and therefore more tempting, so I'd just try it on anyway and usually it is just as easy to reject as the cheaper stuff. The problem is that, just like cheaper stuff, occasionally it is perfect and then I'm in a pickle.

I don't follow bloggers or have much interest in Instagram or Pinterest, I'm not on lots of mailing lists, I'm not sure how I end up in the grip of a particular shopping obsession. I mean I understand the itch and why I want to scratch it (the whole emotional shopping issue), but I don't have a lot of social media stimulus to provoke it. Being here (MN) doesn't help though, I know that much.

I'm currently obsessed with a pair of shoes I didn't buy because I gave myself a choice between two and opted for the more wearable style (neither one could be called practical tbh). So it's not like I didn't 'treat myself' already, I'm just negotiating with myself around whether I will ignore my earlier generous guidelines of buying one pair. (It's all a lie - to myself! - as I bought two other pairs at a sample sale anyway.) And I normally live in trainers, monkey boots or loafers (or slippers at home), so where is this fantasy of needing fancy shoes coming from?? It's so insidious!

I've been thinking about a thread where you can post the things you wanted to buy but didn't, the idea being that once you post it here you've committed to not buying it. Or is that a terrible idea that would provide more temptation for everyone?

I am not sure if this would help, but as a rule, I hang everything that I buy without taking the label off. If I don't wear them within the next couple of weeks, or have any desire to wear them, they go back.

Not a shopaholic but yeah. I love an Ebay/ charity shop/Brandalley bargain and shop far too regularly. I still manage to save decent amounts of money for DD and me so spending isn't an issue as such. I did attempt a no spend year period of time but truth told, shopping is my only spend (exercise and fitness are free, No costly hobbies currently, don't drink, smoke etc) and i lasted approximately 1 day.

This thread has hit a nerve with me...am an emotional shopper and get totally fixated on the 'perfect' thing. The irony of having so many clothes / shoes / etc and never being able to find what I've so lovingly chosen is not lost on me.

Like a previous poster I am going to try and channel my energy into making the 'perfect' thing...given my sewing skills are relatively basic it should keep me occupied for a while!

@fuckadoodledandy even with basic skills you can make Amy Karol's five minute skirt: angrychicken.typepad.com/angry_chicken/2008/07/5-minute-skirt.html

I have skills but no patience, and I just can't bear to experiment if it might not work out. I want a wearable garment asap or I know I will abandon the project. So this is a quick and dirty solution, and so soothing to make, like meditation, but with a skirt at the end.

I made a handful of these with some brilliant Ikea upholstery/decorating fabric, which gave the skirts a great A-line look iyswim - they stood out nicely rather than falling softly. I wear them all the time in the summer.

My only proviso is that the very thing that saves you time costs you fabric. It's a very fabric-hungry pattern, great for using up a stash, or you can use the scraps for a belt, scarf, bag etc. More projects, less time for shopping!

@Tryingtogetitright I think it was a freebie from a Sunday paper!

Hand up.

I love a bit of shopping. Make up, hair stuff, clothes, shoes. I don't need much encouragement ... but 'discovered' the bloomin' Style and Beauty board here about 18 months ago and it's cost me a fortune!

Este Lauder Double Wear
A Hobbs trench coat.
Benefits eyeliner.
Biotin tablets (tonight!)
Solid coconut oil (for hair)
Revitalash
Some eyebrow gel colour for £££
Charlotte Tilbury lipstick
are just the few that spring straight to mind, there's loads of other bits and pieces!

i love it

@thefirstmrsdewinter thank you for that link..it looks like something I may actually be able to make! I have also dragged out my pile of 'mending' projects...am going to step away from my Internet browser in the evenings, it's the worst time for me, need to keep myself occupied.