Where am I going wrong?!

[imlovingangelsinstead]

I've read a lot of the looking expensive, dressing well threads but despite following lots of the things mentioned I still feel a mess! Where am I going wrong?
Im 40, very clean, I mainly buy from uniqlo, bit of hush and Boden mainly. I live in converse and jeans. I need my clothes to be practical because I'm a sahm. I Have my hair coloured regularly, brows done, wear nice perfume yet still never feel put together! My nails aren't manicured but are kept short, filed and neat. I wear makeup each day but never feel it looks great and my hair never looks special because I need it back off my face. What else could I be doing to help?

I would hazard a guess that you look incredible and it is all in your head, so focus on feeling good too.

Thank you - but that's definitely not it!!

Sometimes if I keep doing the same thing and look the same each day it can start to seem that I never look good. So I just change one thing about myself. Maybe paint your nails, or do your hair a little differently, use different makeup

I agree with the PP - I bet you look fab. As a sahm you don't need to do full glam every day. Just a couple of things - how are your eyebrows? I find they make a massive difference. Also eyelash extensions.

One thing that jumped out at me was converse. I don't think anyone can look groomed in trainers. Maybe ditch them and pop on some boots/nice ballerinas. They're jut as comfy but look tonnes better.

I agree with the above poster, I bet you look great, just don't feel great. I know that's not very helpful.
How about a new lipstick? Or if you have to have your hair pulled back, try a fringe.
I often feel like a sack of doodoo, but have received compliments that I look amazing. I bet you look lovely.

Could it be down to your overall style? I always choose quite natural things so will never look as pulled together as someone who is a bit more glitzy. I went for a style consultation, and now am my ch more comfortable with my day to day 'natural' look, because I know how to up the gloss if i want to on occasion. A colour and style consultation can give you a great boost, it really helps to find someone you get on with, too.

I think it might be the ‘I need my clothes to be practical’ sentiment. I used to think like this too, as I was always walking my dog, but then I would see other people out on walks with fabulous hats, cool wellies or DMs, nice jacket as opposed to waterproof etc. I went on holiday once with a friend who even had a cool outfit in case it snowed (and it did!). I just don’t think like that but kind of wish I did. I am Mrs Practical and as a result feel like a drudge. I am trying to mix it up now. I won’t ever be fashionable but I am trying for a little more edgy / eclectic.

Not to be that person but how's your weight?

Show us a picture and we will be honest. You're more attractive than you think I'm sure.

Do your clothes fit well and suit you? Do you like them?

Why do you feel you look a mess. All you've stated is positives, what are the negatives?

Bit of lip gloss and clear nail varnish

A picture would help us. Also at least for myself I always feel frumpy and a bit down when I find myself wearing a uniform of black skinnies and a top for many days in a row. I then need to shake things up a bit, wear leggings, skirts, different outfits, perhaps buy a new figure hugging top to show off my good parts, instead of always baggy jumpers. You need to put actual effort in your everyday outfits and style them ahead. Also need to invest in some everyday pieces that you know you will wear lots. Second pair of boots in different style. Cute wellies. New jacket or coat in a different colour. Things that will change how you look from day to day. Top that you would not normally wear but you have admired on others. Style your hair differently.
Example: I feel like I am sinking in shit this week because I have a delivery at work tomorrow that's not going so well, my period is due soon, my black skinnies are already falling apart and losing shape after few months, my face is full of little pimples which I managed to aggravate and I still havent lost a pound i gained in christmas, let alone the rest of the weight I wanted to shift before spring. Add to this some deeply personal issues and I feel like a hot mess. Tomorrow I would ideally sleep the entire day and not face people. But I will go against myself and wear the black hush ruched skirt for the first time, (even though I am pear shaped and feel fat) with opaques and a deep navy jumper with white stripes and high heel suede ankle boots. Act like a have a supermodel body and hope that no-one notices how I feel inside. If I spend the day working hard and being anxious, I may at least try to cheer myself up in other ways.

Thanks all, sorry I've been a bit vague...
I agree about changing up my footwear, I don't like anything heavy on my feet so tend to avoid boots although love the look of them on others. I love ballerinas but wonder if they look cheap somehow on me.
My hairs ok but no real style and tends to be quite flat. I never pull off that heady ponytail/bun look either that others do so well.
I've stopped wearing lipstick and gloss so need to start that back up.
I'm half a stone overweight which isn't helping definitely.
I think my clothes fit ok but I just don't have that effortless glide about me for some reason!

I should be a size 12 top, size 14 bottom but currently im a size 14 top too (but with a flat chest!) Not a good look!

I'd kill to be a size 14! I bet you look fine. Work on getting rid of the half stone - I'm too fat but working on it. I feel more fabulous with every lb I lose.

Agree about some ballerinas looking cheap. Avoid the crap ones with very thin soles, that can be bought in Primark. Go for ones made of good leather with a slightly thicker sole and a slightly raised heel. Pointy toes always look great, but they're harder to find. I know what you mean about hating heavy shoes.

Any chance the colours you're wearing don't suit you?

Mulberry - yes this could be it. I try and steer clear of black these days as it looks awful on me now I'm older. I Think I'm a clear winter but have no idea really! I stick to plain solid colours generally

You sound a bit like me OP- what s your hair and eye colour? Skin tone? I'm pale with blue eyes and dyed blonde highlights, and black washes me out. Bright colours can work well for a bit of a change. What style jeans are you "living" in? I've gone a size down and it has helped with my general feeling of frumpiness - once I can breathe again!

I'm tall and really struggle with where to shop. I also think quality has gone downhill in lots of the mid range places like white stuff and fat face. How often do you buy new pieces?

Is it possible that it doesn't feel right because the groomed / expensive look just isn't your style?

I think it looks great on some women but, whenever I try it, I don't feel like me (plus all the grooming drives me nuts).

Just a thought.

Eyelash extensions are a game changer here. I even feel confident enough to go completely make up free because of them (I don't that much because I do love my makeup). They look really natural too, my mum just assumed I have a new mascara

Doesn’t sound like you’re going wrong to me, I’d change up the footwear a bit though. Maybe some vans, vejas or puma baskets?

I would definitely try varying your footwear. I am short and can't walk in heels but I really like a nice pair of shoes or boots and feel incredibly scruffy in trainers/plimsolls even if the rest of my outfit is quite nice. I'm a huge fan of brogues but I know they're not for everybody.

How about some nice deck shoes/loafers if you want to smarten up the footwear a bit without going for boots? My DD has some two-tone Chathams that look amazing but are really light and comfy to wear. (Unfortunately she's a size smaller than me but I've tried them on just to see.)

The other thing that would probably make a difference is a trip to a good hairdresser for a really good cut & colour.