Help put me back together!

[Paranormalbouquet]

I’ve just had a drawn out miscarriage resulting in ERPC and bad infection at 12 weeks.

Due to eating carbs non stop to get through the nausea in early pregnancy and comfort eating past few weeks I’ve gained weight, and am now probably 14 on top, 16 on bottom. Due to infection my tummy is quite puffy and tender so can’t bear a tight waistband. Due to hormone changes and antibiotics my skin is blotchy, spotty in places and dry in others.

I’m 5 ft 5, dark hair and pale skin (extremely pale at the moment due to lots of blood loss!). Hourglass shaped so baggy clothing is awful on me.

I need to get back to work on Tuesday for lots of reasons, think I need to get back to normal. I also need to keep the fact that I was pregnant a secret as applying for promotion and don’t need people knowing that mat leave might be on the cards early.

I will need a few outfits to get me through the next few weeks while I work on getting the weight back down. Any ideas for cheapish smartish clothes (Usially wear dresses, skirts or smart trousers with blouse/nice jumper) which can be ordered online and will skim over my horribly bloated tender tummy? And products (don’t have to be cheap as will use longer term) to help even out my skin tone and help sort the blemishes?

Estée Lauder Double wear ( I recommend it on every thread but seriously I do my know how i survived without it before I found it), Zalando / Ebay for jersey dresses - dark with small print should do the job.

Cetaphil moisturiser is very good at helping skin calm down, as is lavender water.

Not sure about the clothing, maybe a few loose-ish wrap dresses or a big Woolton jumper with a belt?

You sound like you’re doing really well for what you’ve been through, you should be proud of yourself x

Thanks to you both, I’m not doing well at all really, just trying to get back to some semblance of normality! And trying not to look like an extra in a zombie film can be a project to help!

Jersey dresses are a good idea, will take a look. Back on MyFitnessPal tomorrow to get eating better too.

These are probably not the height of fashion, but m&s have some stretchy work trousers with elasticated waist band which may help you at the moment http://www.marksandspencer.com/elastic-waist-trousers/p/p60145519?image=SD01T596140F3XEC_90&color=DARKNAVY&prevPage=plp

Sorry you're having such a rough time.

FatFace have some great wrap-style dresses which seem pretty forgiving round the middle (I have no excuse bar a cake habit) and work well on an hourglass shape. They're about £45 - think it's the Georgia dress.

And I meant to say, so sorry for your loss. I've been in a similar position and it's devastating. Try to take it easy as much as you can.

@Itscurtainsforyou I’m not bothered about fashion, just want to be comfortable and not have people noticing the tummy. They look really comfortable so will take a look. @WhereIsBlueRabbit I don’t have a fat face near me so have never shopped there but they actually have lots of forgiving on the tummy dresses so will take a good look on there.

Thanks to everyone, managed to pick up some trousers in m+s with elasticated waist that actually look like trousers, and a nice soft Cos jersey dress and Boden (plain black) wrap dress in local charity shop which should work until I lose the bloat and hopefully some real weight too.

Got the doublewear, it’s fantastic! Just need to try not to look awfully pale now, may need a lot of blusher and under eye makeup.

Glad you found something suitable, feeling comfortable is half the battle. Good luck

Fake tan? Not orange, just a bit of colour and glow?

No advice really, just to say look after yourself, sounds like you've really been through it

I went through very similar a few years ago. Really knocks the wind out of you, mentally and physically. Just get as much rest as you can and be very very kind to yourself. Take stuff slowly.

Dresses will be the comfiest around your stomach area. You can cut the waistband of tights to make them looser without them falling down. Concealer (Nars radiant creamy concealer is nice and brightening), bit of blusher and a pinky toned lipstick or balm (Dior lip glow in berry is nice.)

I am very sorry for your loss.

And your skin is probably extra sensitive at the moment. Go with a simple skincare routine and treat it gently rather than fighting against it. If that makes sense. La Roche Posay have some gentle cleansers etc. You'll probably find everything settles down again in a few weeks.

@RunRabbitRunRabbit I’ve never found a fake tan that works- I’m very very pale skinned (and not good at hair/makeup anyway) and never find a shade that looks like a natural tan. Possibly because I would never tan! But if anyone has any suggestions I’ll try anything!

@EnidButton cutting tights is a great idea- do you just snip into the waistband? I was planning to wear huge tights which reach my under bust! I do tend to fight against my skin probably which isn’t helping. It’s a mix of spots and very dry patches currently which seems to advertise that I’ve been ill.

Infection settling so hoping tummy will be less sensitive in a few days but am sure the skin changes will take some time to settle down.

Everyone is very kind, I’ll be ok, came to terms with miscarriage a few weeks ago but waiting for my body to cotton on has been tough. I’m taking at least this month off TTC, probably a few months as awaiting recurrent miscarriage appointment so am trying to put this time to good use getting fitter and healthier.

So sorry for your loss.

I know its not comparable but I was really ill last year. When I came out of hospital I looked awful. My skin is so pale it went a very pale greyish yellow. My hair was dull too. Its usually a glossy brown.

When I had to go back to work I bought Xen Tan. It has an olivey base and doesnt look orange at all. It also smells quite nice. I bought the gradual tanner one so it's really light. I mixed it with E45 Intense Recovery lotion so its even lighter, spreads further & doesnt go streaky and it really helped to make me look healthy again.

Also - a semi permanent hair colour thats close to your natural shade may help your hair look vibrant and glossy again.

A clear or nude nail polish may also help to add some shine.

Hope this helps in some way. Good luck with the promotion if you apply for it

Thanks @Gertrudethestag, I’m due a colour now that you mention it, greys peeping through again. I’ll block a morning next week to do it (hours relatively flexible).

First day back was ok, good distraction anyway. Even managed a gentle lunchtime yoga class.