Dress me! Formal dinner in NYC

[WhatWouldFlopDoToday]

Dh’s work is very generously paying for me to go and stay with him for a few days while he is over in NYC working for 3 weeks in March.

There is a formal dinner on one of the nights that partners are invited to. This sort of thing fills me with dread at the best of times, but this time I don’t know anyone apart from dh, it’s in a city I don’t know and I have no bloody idea what to wear.

Any suggestions? It’s black tie, I’m 5’8” size 12 with cracking legs from the knee down, shoulders to knees is a bit of a disaster area that doesn’t need highlighting!

Also a really nice evening bag or minaudiere.

I'm sorry, but I think that long dress will be the order of the day. I work at a private school and we have an annual fund raiser, and it is long dress 100% without fail, just for a school night out. Some of the parents from school are very wealthy and go to big (proper) fund raisers, and they are always 100% full length. As are prom dresses. A really nice cocktail dress just below the knees might just about be OK.

BUT - I'm in the mid west. We're a bit quaint. If you can get hold of Supermum2B she would know - she works in NYC and Knows About These Things.

The dress from Swimminguphill would prob. be OK.

Could you wear a dress short in front to show case the fab legs and long at the back?

I've just googled "NYC formal wear" and the hits all seem to be very blingy, pastel, slit to the hips type prom dresses. Given that my only form of reference for NYC formal wear is Sex And The City and Suits... I'm not sure what's going on!

My best friend is married to a major and has to attend formal dinners where the dress code is basically "Kate Middleton" - would that be a viable way forward?

I also think it's likely to be long if it's black tie and there's a prince in attendance. I was in NY in November and I had a couple of things to go to, including a dinner in a smart NY restaurant. The (US but originally from the Middle East so pretty glam naturally) wife in the other couple dressed in a borderline cocktail dress, but the other people in the restaurant were smart but not that smart IYKWIM.

If the event is in a hotel, could you call or email them to ask what the dress code is likely to be?

Have a look at Outnet for dress options. I got a fabulous DvF cocktail dress from there for a super posh party at the end of the summer. You may be able to find something that has an additional sale discount, so not too expensive overall.

Are the other people British or American (or from somewhere else)? That will make a difference as to style. That said, given it's in NYC, definitely shellac nails and a blow dry on the day

OP have a look at Ghost. Lots of slinky long dresses. Or DVF.

Failing that, treat yourself to a day trip to London. You can't go wrong looking round selfridges for evening wear.

And look up 'dry bar' for a blow dry when in NYC and you can book online. They're all over the city. And get a manicure. You'll feel fab.

It will be about 50% European and the rest American/ Canadian. Blow dry and nails definitely a good tip, I wouldn’t have considered that.

Ok - in that case you need to up the ante (Brits accept more lax). I think long, and as high a heel you can manage. Remember you are sitting down, so consider what suits you and looks interesting from the waist up. Pick a nice bright colour, perhaps in a jewel tone: emerald, shocking pink, red, peacock blue

Any good jewellery you've got you can wear/borrow?

What's your budget, OP?

Definitely nails and blow dry. The dress will be secondary.

Ideally I don’t want to spend more than 1k for everything - inc hair and nails. I’ve got some nice bags and jewellery so don’t need to worry anout that. I’d like to wear heels but not too high as I tower over dh otherwise!

I’ve just ordered this www.reiss.com/p/sequin-embellished-midi-dress-womens-ricami-in-gunmetal/?category_id=11000&gaEeList=W%20-%20Sale%20-%20Dresses#&gid=1&pid=1

Love that dress!!

I think the red Alberta Ferretti shown above is divine.

If you have £1000 to spend - book to see a consultant at your local department store and see what suits you!

Friend did this and her choice was amazing

I think going strapless is quite brave if you aren’t 100% sure what others will wear.

Lovely dress.

I would get an eveningy shrug or bolero to go with it.

Do you think clazone? I’m quite happy showing my shoulders and would feel a lot more self conscious if I was wearing something showing too much leg or boob.

I can’t think of any bolero type jobbies that would suit. Any suggestions? Or is there such a thing as fake straps?

I wouldn't wear strapless for an event where you are mostly going to be sitting down...

Does teal suit you?

Fly the flag for the UK with a Stella McCartney?

Shows off your legs and a shoulder

Victoria Beckham LBD

That pink Stella McCartney one is lovely. I like the VB one too but not sure if it’s dressy enough? I can’t wear anything to floaty from the waist down - I have enormously wide hips but then stick legs. Dress that are floaty from tummy down make it look like I’m smuggling a rubber ring under my dress.

I hadn’t considered that wearing strapless while sitting down would probably make me look naked wouldn’t it? Although that would probably be right up Prince Andrews street! I’ve decided not the strapless one now (before it’s even arrived) as all the bolero/ cover ups just scream ‘I’ve misjudged the dress code and trying my best to still fit in.’

I’m actually quite excited now! Thank you so much everyone - with your help I’m going to look lovely, now I just need to practice my anecdotes and my best tinkly laugh.

I hadn’t looked at that teal one. That’s lovely, it’s long but it doesn’t look long iyswim. My poor credit card is being destroyed, at least they all do free returns.

With a shape as described, and for the occasion, I think you should consider a long dress with a gathered or pleated skirt, or A line, and avoid the mermaid and column looks. This would most likely mean looking for a dress with a defined waist. I would look for some ruffle or bow or other interesting detail around the shoulder/neckline too, to balance the hips.

www.neimanmarcus.com/Milly-Vena-Silk-Chiffon-Keyhole-Midi-Cocktail-Dress/prod205620032_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat48730734%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D480%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D&eItemId=prod205620032&xbcpath=cat48730734%2Ccat17740747%2Ccat000001%2Ccat000000&cmCat=product

www.neimanmarcus.com/La-Femme-Cap-Sleeve-Ruched-Chiffon-Gown/prod206280309_cat48730734__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat48730734%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D840%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D&eItemId=prod206280309&xbcpath=cat48730734%2Ccat17740747%2Ccat000001%2Ccat000000&cmCat=product

These are from Neiman Marcus, in the US.

www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306634682&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524447176583&R=888585436397&P_name=Parker+Black&N=306634682&bmUID=m3ObKsL

www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?FOLDER%3C%3Efolder_id=2534374306634682&PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524447152287&R=191371884990&P_name=Halston+Heritage&N=306634682&bmUID=m3O0vBU

From Saks Fifth Avenue.