Help for a middle-aged woman working in tech

[StoatofDisarray]

I work in senior position in a company that I founded with some friends in the mid 2000s. We work in tech (virtual reality/serious gaming), and when we were low-profile and small, jeans and T-shirts were fine for meeting programmers/researchers. Now I find myself having to meet potential clients more often, and I have no idea how to pitch my style. I'm also in the middle of the menopause, so that's adding to my confusion.

I have been wearing Boden because it's easy to copy outfits from their catalogues, but it's not really me. I need to look comfortable, professional and creative, but not in an art teacher way. Our creative director is French and he always looks very stylish: I feel rather frumpy in comparison.

Can you recommend any people whose style I could emulate, or designers/shops that I should look at? At the moment, I feel my best bet is to go to Selfridges and use a personal shopper, but I am not very good at resisting a hard sell, and I would like to have some idea of what might be suitable first.

I hope this isn't too woolly. Can anyone help a nerd look more professional without losing her nerdness?

That’s what I’d buy with more money but not enough for designer everything.

Also try Rag and Bone

I can’t wear t shirts ever (breasts) and I actually don’t wear trousers any more: though I love the white t shirt look on the right figure, and the French seem to wear scarves well (Hermes or Pucci).

Also I had a look in the Stella Macartney shop and she has some quirky colours and patterns but is quite casual - maybe an outfit from the spring collection if you want to push the boat out

Great thread. Watching with interest as returning to work in Spring to similar setting as you, Stoat. Going to have a wardrobe rummage this weekend but if I'm going to go for Emmanuelle Alt (just...wow) I already know I need at least a plain blazer/suit jacket and some cropped black trousers. Anyone seen any good ones lately?

I don't have the answers but have accompanied a friend to Sefridges personal shopper who was very good. but i think you are correct in thinking you need to have some idea of what you are aiming for. My friends spent a lot, more than she was planning to, and returned a couple of things afterwards when she'd tried them on at home.

I also went to John Lewis with the same friend and they were not good at all, brought very frumpy stuff and in the end I ran round the store finding stuff for her.

enters more names into spreadsheet Great Stuff! I will definitely look into a personal shopper session at Selfridges.

I don't own any sort of handbag at the moment: it's not really something I've ever thought of spending money on (I use a little Deuter backpack ATM). Leaping straight into designer handbags at £600 plus is too much for me. I would rather spend money on clothes than a basic bag, but I need to do better than a backpack, I guess. Is there any such thing as a more casual briefcase? Something more like a laptop bag?

Check Mandarina Duck for Italian style techie bags

Following with interest...

I might have got the tip from here and I love my Knomo backpack.

www.knomobags.com/uk/berlin-laptop-backpack-monochrome.html

Some of the French brands (APC, more utilitarian things at Isabel Marant including boots/ trainers) work well for me along with a lot of fancy jeans in different colours (Rag & Bone, J Brand etc). I also got a couple of things recently from an American designer called Clu which is quirky and also seems flattering to a more hourglass shape. It’s expensive full price but was in sale in some London stores like Harvey Nicks recently.

That Knomo backpack is gorgeous! And Mandarina Duck looks good too - thanks :)

I'm going to draw up a capsule wardrobe list next. I'm so glad I decided to ask MN about this, I thought I was going to be a Boden-er forever (nothing against Boden of course, but like I said, they're not really me, although I do like the wider colour palette and the clothes are usually quite well-made).

If you are going throught the menopause then I would suggest cotton shirts are likely to be more comfortable than silk. TM Lewin do great quality cotton shirts - go for a small print or darkish colour to avoid the Tony Blair sweaty shirt look. Ally Capellino do good work bags. I'm curvy & find it much easier to avoid looking frumpy with trousers in the winter. I seem to find more wearable dresses or skirts for warmer weather, whereas winter dresses can either make me look matronly or just dull. Me & Em slim crops work well with flat shoes or heels or trainers & the studded or striped pairs look smart but sadly they don't work with a belt & a good quality belt can smarten up an outfit no end if you are curvy and have a waist. Jigsaw do good trousers for curves.

I lived about 30 years of my life in jeans, t shirts and DMs, and found it really hard to find a more grown up style that I feel comfortable in.

I know lots of pp are suggesting shirt and trousers but tbh I just felt frumpy and uncomfortable. After much experimenting with different styles I discovered I prefer long knitted cotton dresses, long soft cardies, and tights, rather than a smarter version of top-and-trousers which I never felt comfortable in.

I also kept the DMs, I just do not do girly shoes

I wanted comfort and warmth, and sadly a lot of women's fashion doesn't supply either, or if it does it falls smack in the middle of frumpy

What is it about jeans and tshirts that you like? I realised for me it was the comfy stretchy-ness, and that's why tailored clothes like shirt and trousers didn't work for me at all. I also hate ironing, and stretchy clothes don't really need ironing like woven fabrics do

The Knomo backpack linked to above is now on 40% off.
My sister is v senior in tech and loves this brand.

OP try a half tuck for t-shirts, opens up a whole new world of opportunity with tops. I prefer something more akin to a quarter tuck - basically gives you a waist without too much formality.

Have you looked at Agnes B, Joseph, and Margaret Howell?

Comptoir des cotonniers is good for smart trousers and tops/jackets without being OTT. If you want to go smart jeans and silk blouses/fancy t shirts then get to Trilogy but brace yourself on prices! I love the Pyrus shirts and I have boobs. The staff are really helpful and good at putting outfits together.

www.trilogystores.co.uk

Also Knomo for smart laptop compatible bags e.g.

https://www.knomobags.com/uk/copenhagen-briefcase-black.html