Coping with being short?

[EmbarrassedAF]

I’m 22 and 5’1. As I’ve gotten older I have become more insecure and depressed about my height - I’m extremely aware of it. I’m really down about the fact that I’m going to be this height forever. I’m literally the height of a child

I have had a few life changes in 2017 - graduating, leaving my old retail job and starting a job in accounting, moving back home and breaking up with my ex. My entire social circle has changed and I’m not in the same bubble of people that did not care about my height. EG I feel like I’m not taken seriously at work - I’m dramatically shorter than everyone else. I get comments daily.

When I wear heels, I’m still a lot shorter than the majority of people. It’s embarrassing. I hate taking photos too. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else went through a similar ‘rut’ and had any advice

Do you still dress like a student? If so then that along with your height might make you seem younger. It might help to copy the style of some of your older colleagues

Embrace it! My sister is 6 ft and has hated it all her life. I am 5’8” which is reasonably tall but at a size 14, I always feel like a large person. I could never feel dainty or small or petite. Even if i lost weight, my frame is just on the larger side. Not that I need to feel dainty but my point is that people often want what they haven’t got in relation to their size shape and height.

I know quite a few very short women who are in top roles in medicine and education. They seem to carry an air and energy into the room with them that stops people from patronising them. Harder to pull off when you are young, but you could give it a go.

2-3 inch heels help - any higher and they look like they're trying to compensate for height which draws attention to it. And well tailored grown up clothes.

Also, do yoga. I grew 2 inches when I was 21 - from 5'2" to 5'4" due to massively improved posture from yoga and Alexander technique

You're not 'a lot shorter' than everyone else if you're wearing even 2 inch heels since the average height for a woman is 5 ft 3-5ft 4 inches.

you need to find a way to stop thinking about this and think of something else.

I’m the same height as you. I consider myself short, but have never had any sort of issue with it, or felt that I was not taken seriously because of it.
5’1” isn’t really very short imo.
Frankly there are worse problems people have to deal with in their lives. Sounds like you are blaming your height for other issues in your life at the moment.

You are a similar height to Kylie Minogue, Lady Gaga, Reese Witherspoon and the Queen. Nobody is bothered about their height and it certainly hasn't stopped any of them achieving great things. You need to work on your confidence and embrace being petite.

You need to cultivate an authoritative voice. I am 5’2” and when I was 23 I started a job where the vast majority of colleagues were men in their 50s - the senior mgr was an ex-rugby player and 6’5”. I started in a very junior position which didn’t help - moved into a project role after about a year and had to present to senior mgt.

My advice is a) know your shit, and b) be prepared to stand up for knowing it. Don’t back down if you know you’re right. Cultivate a tone of authority. And yes, dress on the smarter side for your workplace. Mine was very casual - I could have worn jeans. But I didn’t because I needed a bit more authority. I wore dresses mainly - not shift dresses because that would have been overkill in that environment, but smartish ones.

I'm shorter than you but I've never felt it's held me back. I've had people who tried to intimidate me by leaning over me but it's never worked because everyone is taller than me.
My height has never bothered me cos I can't do anything about it. I have a fairly senior role now so people aren't height-it's. My best friend is over 6 foot and it doesn't bother them either.
The times people have picked on me have been on other things not my lack of height.

I'm your height op and I do understand what you mean , as I felt like I wasn't taken seriously at your age.

I'm in my late 30s now though and am taken very seriously - not because I've grown taller but because I've become better at asserting myself as I've aged.

I really don't think it's your height that's holding you back op , it's probably your overall confidence.

There's nothing you can do about it, so you need to work on accepting it.

I have several short friends, including one that is 5' - they rarely even mention it. In fact, the only time I notice it is when I see photos of us lined up together.

I've had people who tried to intimidate me by leaning over me but it's never worked because everyone is taller than me

So true.

I also say ,‘I might be small, but so is a virus‘

Carrie Fisher was only 5foot 2 I love the bit in starwars episode 4 where Leia stands up to Vader - she only comes up to his chest (Prowse was 6foot 7) but she has such presence, you realise height is a red herring. That was my short person defining moment.

jeden Carrie Fisher had such presence. I was convinced she was around 5"5 or 5"6.
Being another 5"2er I will keep that in mind.

In a previous life I was always on placement with giant farmers. I stood up straight, shoulders back, worked on my assertive voice and cracked on. Even though my natural inclination was to avoid making myself seen I thought I'd fake it till I made it.

I’m massive - 6ft and at 21 was probably a size 12 (whole lot bigger now, feel like Hagrid). I would love to be short/tiny/petite/feminine, to fit into clothes from Mango or Zara or most of the High St without trousers finishing half way up my calves or sleeves always being 3/4 length, even on coats. To be able to wear heels out without towering over people, to not look like I’ve been superimposed on every photo taken of me (the giant friend), to have a partner be able to pick me up (for various reasons, some fun, some practical!).

What I’m saying is the grass isn’t greener up here!

Despite that rant I genuinely don’t let my height (or the dislike of my height) bother me day to day - I thank my lucky stars for a heathy functioning body & mind & remember how lucky I am every single day. It sounds like your worry is out if proportion to the issue (no pun intended!). Or rather you are focussing your anxiety about the other stuff onto this (non) issue. My advice would be to focus on the positive - buy clothes that suit your body shape, have great hair & make up & smile (& remember giants like me would love to be your size!!) :)

Being small sucks. Big time! At 4'11", it's awful.

Three quarter sleeves and trousers fit me full length and I get to see up everybody's noses.

I have met people 'in charge' who are smaller than me and they all seemed to have the same characteristics.

Slim. Nothing says 'in control' like being slim.

Smartly dressed. Proper suits, proper blouses/shirts, proper ties/necklaces and proper shoes. Not high fashion, but stylish. They looked like grown ups.

On the weekends, when we worked together and the dress code relaxed, when everyone else was in jeans and T-shirts, they dressed as if going for a country walk.

They acted like responsible grown ups. They were polite, but serious. There was no laughing out loud or silly joke telling. They acted like they were grown ups, commanded respect and only 'let slip' on tea breaks or clicking off.

They were authoritative and well spoken. Knew their stuff, spoke clearly and made sure people knew that they were professionals.

I was jealous.

I'm overweight, smart casual is my default setting and I'm in no way 'serious' enough to be taken seriously.

Get thee to Hobbs. Lose weight if you're overweight, work on a 'grown-up' look and demeanour and don't send round robin emails about gossip....

Why are you getting comments at work daily about your height? That is really unprofessional.
I am 5 feet tall and wouldn’t say that my height by itself has held me back at work, but height +youth + lack of experience meant I had to cultivate a more authoritative air.
Even now when I go out in public, if I am wandering along daydreaming I am more likely to be barged into by people, or commented on by local teens who think they are passing an untrendy teenager (even though I have a middle aged face!).
But I don’t mind being short overall.
I have found that Yoga is good for posture and confidence.

I'm 43 and 5 foot . It doesn't bother me in the slightest. It did take me a while to realise I wasn't going to grow anymore though. I was probably around your age when I thought ah well this is it 🤷‍♀️.. my he got has never stopped me doing anything except model it be an air stewardess . I'd much rather be super short than super tall!!

Plus the fact no one thinks I'm my age , mostly late twenties so it has us benefits !!

I'm shorter than you, my dc are taller than me apart from the youngest who is going to overtake me in a few years.
I don't feel intimidated by taller people but I did work on my voice when I was your age. I was told nobody would take me seriously with a high pitched voice. I always thought that was quite mean. I try as far as possible to stand up straight and have good posture, you can do nothing about your height op apart from wearing heels to add a few inches

5'1 is not that short. I think you feel shorter than you are. It sounds like a confidence issue rather than a height issue.

I'm 5ft and have never experienced anything for negative about my height. I don't even think about it and I don't wear heels. It's never had an impact on my businesses or my career as a teacher. I just buy short length trousers and get on with it. I also wear what I want and have never once thought about wearing things that make me seem more "serious". Baffled by this thread!

I'm 5ft 2.5 and slim (and 42) with an athletic build. I wouldn't say I loved being my height, in an ideal world I'd grow a couple of inches more just so I have a better viewpoint, but no-one has ever not taken me seriously. Most people are very surprised when I tell them my height and I don't wear heels, so maybe I give the illusion of being taller. I have not had any bullying about my height or horrible comments particularly. Embrace it, wear what you feel comfortable, wear flats, don't feel self conscious. It's possible at 22 you just need to find your style and a bit more confidence.

Re. The comments about your height - people are just so weird. I get comments about how tall I am all the time (5’10”), it’s like ‘woah! Really! I hadn’t noticed’ 🙄. Also my boss actually told me I was ‘Amazonian’ (I think you mean ‘really good at my job’). But genuinely, these days there are so many ways to prove yourself that don’t relate to how you look - most correspondence is by email, people often build confidence in you long before they meet you. I also think that while first visual impressions make a mark, people end up seeing your professional abilities if you show them. BTW my standard response when people comment on my height/appearance is ‘thank you! I love my height/build/weirdly spaces eyes’ that seems to neutralise things nicely...

I'm 5ft 0 and at the age of 40 I have come to love my height. I've never had any negative comments. Some times I do feel overwhelmed by my height, mostly in situations where I'm surrounded by what feels like really tall people.
You should try and feel happy with who you are, height is one of the few things we can't change about ourselves.
I also don't often wear heels now unless I'm properly out and probably look like a child in my peanuts vans

I'm 4ft 11, and dress in really bright clothes and my bright red docs
Sometimes, I think i look like a clown, but I have fun and don't take life too seriously.
I don't work in an office or for a corporation though, I may be more grown up if I did.
I think you should wear and behave in a way that makes you feel good about yourself, not how others dress or think.

I had a friend years ago, she wasn't even five feet, she was a tough cookie, she climbed supermarket shelves, laughed at herself and wouldn't let anyone put her down. She also didn't make nasty remarks about tall people either.

My Mum is tall and would come home raging often about short people making unsolicited nasty comments about her height as she worked in a public facing profession, she often was asked to reach things for short people in supermarkets as if she was their servant with lots of spare time and energy, so became resentful as a result.