Can I take it back or do I have to keep it?

[hidinginthegarden]

For Christmas my husband and DD9 gave me a handbag. He says that she picked it out because she thought I would really like it. I hate it and think it's properly ugly. It's faux leather (I have a couple of good leather bags which I like and use a lot) but she's so pleased with it and keeps asking me when I'm going to use it

Given how pleased she is with her selection, I really have to keep it and use it a few times don't I?

I am a bit surprised you even have to ask. Of course you have to keep it and use it.

Yep I'm sorry but you do. In other circumstances I would say be honest but in this circumstance I don't think that would work.

If she was older I'd say you could have a nice chat with her about different people's styles but she's only 9 so you'll never be able to explain it in a way that she will understand, she might act or seem ok with it but underneath will just be hurt because mummy didn't like the present That specially picked out.

You have to keep it. I am an adult and bought my mum a bag and she never uses it. Its hurtful.

Just use it for a while and also buy one that you really want yourself.

Keep it as your 'special' bag (and tell your DD this) and take it occasionally when you and DD go for a 'special' treat... and yes buy yourself another bag for keeping the first!

You absolutely can't return it!!!

What lucy said. You can’t get rid! Sorry!

You have to keep it. I am an adult and bought my mum a bag and she never uses it. Its hurtful.

Given that your an adult, so would presumably have understood, would you have preferred that she exchanged it for one she did like and would therefore use?

I'm sure she didn't mean to be hurtful, if there's no back story.

She said she liked it and was pleased with it genuinely and then proceeded to wear her old tatty black bag again! It was too late to return it and when i asked her she said it was too big.

I thought that would be the case but had hoped someone would have come up with a nice way to tell her I was changing it!!

Ok cutting off the tags now! Perhaps I'll embrace my inner boho chic (it's covered in bloody embroidery too) and I will use it for days when we go out together!!

But if she does it as an adult, I am so changing it to something I love!
Thanks all!

I was dissapointed that is all but she is a creature of habit and buys things for herself and then sticks with her old comfortable things!

I bet your Mum would is keeping it for good neveradullmoment! And will actually use it when her existing one falls apart !

Well i think she used it once but was quick to tell me what annoyed her about it

Also very surprised you have to ask. You are meant to appreciate the thought behind the gift.

Take it back! Tell her you love the gift but you would like her to come shopping to choose together one that you prefer. Handbags are so personal, she will learn that as she gets older and there is no reason why she shouldn't see you have your own opinion!! You can be kind about it.

I agree with PP that you should keep it however you need to prime DH for future shopping expeditions. This only works if DH is good at choosing things you like though. Years ago my kids bought me a really old fashioned granny houseplant for mothers day. It was horrible, not pretty and I killed it off pretty soon because it needed special soil etc. I told him I hated it and was disappointed. He told me I was ungrateful and mean to the kids (I didn’t tell them I hated it) to which I replied that in future when the kids wanted to buy him tartan slippers or monogrammed handkerchiefs (which he would hate) I would no longer steer them towards things he would like instead because after all we should be grateful for whatever the kids choose!!! funnily enough since then I’ve never received anything that’s obviously something I would never choose!!

What lucy said - it’s for special occasions, it’s would go so well with “that” outfit/jumper/coat, it would be perfect for a trip to X place, you don’t want to get mess & crumbs in it for everyday etc.

She’ll realise when she’s older, but kindness goes a long way at 9. And on other present-giving occasions you need a pre-choosing trip to the shops with DD & DH where you can exclaim over the perfect bag, and talk about his much you like leather vs fake etc. They pick it up quick!

DH is usually really good and to be fair, I'm not sure he thought it was lovely either but DD was so convinced I'd love it that he was swayed!! I expect I'll use it a couple of times and then she'll want to 'borrow' it!!