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Original poster

how big of a deal are hairy arms?

23 replies

soccerchicz · 15/12/2017 10:47

i'm a 19 year old girl and i've done alot of work when it comes to accepting myself.
i'm quite happy with my overall looks(body, hair and face) but i'm not totally comfortable
with my arms. they are hairy. it's blonde, thick and pretty long. i've been self-conscious about them
ever since middle school when a few boys used to make fun of me and call me names like 'Wookie' and 'Godzilla', sometimes
infront of the whole class.
i really don't want a guy to run the other way if he comes close and saw them.
i'm not really interested in laser hair removal and shaving them would only make them prickly and i'd have
to do it every day!

last week at soccer practise our college team assistant coach came forward to me and grabbed one of my arms, started to pinch
it and like pulling on my arm hair. "Wow Amy, you've got really hairy arms!", he said. i immedialately felt embarressed and got
furios because as i've told you, i quite self-conscious about my arms and i now i can't stop thinking about the whole thing.
any advice on how to feel less self-conscious about this? and any others who's experienced something similar?

OP posts:
excitedforxmas17 · 15/12/2017 10:53

Your arms, your choice. I wouldn't do it for anyone else.

I'm also very hairy and do not touch my arms whereas my sister shaves hers regularly which seems to me way too much effort.

wuckfits · 15/12/2017 11:00

I waxed mine after a first date said “you’ve got hairy arms”

Safe to say I didn’t see him again, I still wax them now

PasDeDeux · 15/12/2017 11:32

I have dark arm hair which I do get rid of. I didn't used to but I prefer to have smooth arms now. Do it because you want to not because of those insensitive remarks.

elQuintoConyo · 15/12/2017 11:38

"That was a mighty fucking rude thing to say. Do you think i don't know? Fuck off dickbreath".

Rinse and repeat.

  • omit all the Fs and the dickbreath if you like, although i'd keep them in!

I live in Spain, here the hair is black on everyone. Some have hairy arms, some are sparse. But i can't say i have really noticed in an OMG kind of way, i don't give people's arms a second thought. I actually went swimming on Wednesday having shaved only half my pant moustache Grin

Flowers people can be thoughtles shits.

Doobigetta · 15/12/2017 11:52

Not at all. Especially if it's blonde. Don't give it another thought.

I really think that collectively as women we need to enourage each other to stop joining in with the constant escalation of what is "required" to look acceptably attractive. Maybe I'm a hypocrite, because I remove unwanted hair, and spend time and money on skincare and makeup, but the list of products and treatments that are considered a normal, acceptable level of effort just seems to be growing exponentially. And it's such a waste of time and energy that could be spent doing something more interesting and less expensive and painful.

slug · 15/12/2017 12:15

I LOVE my hairy arms. Always have. They're so soft to stroke.

"Wow. You have really hairy arms"

"Yes. Aren't they fantastic!"

Or alternatively go to China where they have far less body hair and are completely fascinated and delighted by them.

rcit · 15/12/2017 12:18

What the hell has our society come to?

You have hairy arms because you are a mammal. If a guy walks the other way because of your arms, then it's a great filter to sort the decent ones from the total twats.

I'll bet that you are stunningly beautiful.

WeeBeasties · 15/12/2017 12:20

It really is up to you. I have very dark hairy arms, which i shave. They don't grow anything like as quick as legs, i shave them about once a month but I'm not too fussed about regrowth. I shave when they get to a certain point, or for a special occasion.

Ohthepressure · 15/12/2017 12:31

I shaved my arms for the first time a couple of weeks ago, after 40 years of hairy (dark but fine hair) arms, having read a thread on here about it. I used conditioner, in the shower, and I couldn't stop stroking my arms for ages! Don't feel you have to OP, but it's really not a big deal if you do (I can't believe I hadn't done it before now...)

Spillette · 15/12/2017 12:32

Short answer: to anyone that matters, not at all. Even remotely.

Longer answer: I also have really hairy arms. Like yours by the sound of it, but dark brown. Each hair was well over an inch long.

I dithered for years about doing anything about it. They made me feel self conscious, and occasionally I got comments, but I am the queen of inertia, so I always ended up leaving them. So I made it through all my teens and twenties with hairy arms. Had loads of friends, boyfriends, great jobs, met DH, got engaged etc etc. Basically they don't change a thing about how your life will pan out.

In the end I waxed them for my wedding day, because I wanted too, and I knew I wasn't doing it because anyone expected me to (sorry if that sounds really trite!)

Now I wax them sometimes and let them grow out sometimes. In a weird way I'm more accepting of them now that I know I can remove them if I want to (the hairs, not my whole arms). Like a pp said, they're quite nice to stroke!

Also, a bit like greasy skin being shit at one time of life (spots) and a blessing later (less wrinkles) I figure a general propensity to grow and retain hair is going to be a blessing in the future!

Hope that all makes sense!

botemp · 15/12/2017 12:36

I've never given anyone's arm hair a thought, I think. Nor have I ever heard of a man running away screaming at the sight of them either.

I'll give you the same advice my mother gave me as an angsty teen, the world isn't as obsessed with you as you are, they're all too obsessed with their own insecurities to busy themselves with yours. Be wary of ones who are, they're either out to manipulate you for their own gains by preying on your insecurities or they're the really sad sort who have such low self-esteem the only way they know how to deride it for themselves is by putting others down and 'stealing' theirs.

Officially you're an adult now, and at 19 I really would encourage you to start referring to yourself as a woman rather than a girl, but it's still a confusing time nonetheless, don't be so hard on yourself. Being comfortable in your skin takes time, it's a matter of practice and mindset but it's mostly about being kind to yourself.

Paintbox · 15/12/2017 12:41

I have a fri nd who has blond hairy arms. I didn’t even notice until she pointed it out. There’s nothing wrong with it imo

bigsighall · 15/12/2017 14:40

I don’t think blonde is an issue at all. It’s probably you who notices the most. Ipl doesn’t work on blonde hair I believe.
Anyway mine is dark and I give it a bit of a light run over with the epilator. It kinda thins it out and makes it less noticeable but still looks natural. Only do it every couple of months or so.

mossyroundhill · 15/12/2017 14:49

When I was about 13 my cousin randomly said to me “you’ve got REALLY hairy arms!”
Ran straight to the bathroom, shaved it all off, and carried on doing it for years.
A few months ago I had enough and stopped doing it. Not had a single person, even my DP, comment or notice a difference, and it is relatively dark and thick.
I’d say save yourself the hassle and don’t bother! I like having hairy arms now, it feels more natural and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

LemonysSnicket · 15/12/2017 14:52

I have this - my friend shaved hers and now she often has rashy arms ... I got over mine because I cba to do anything about it.
Trim with nail scissors if you feel the need ?

Branleuse · 15/12/2017 14:53

if a man cannot handle the fact that women are in fact mammals and do actually have hair on their bodys much like men do, and we are not actually naturally smooth and sparkley then theyre a fucking idiot who certainly should not be slept with

Kitsharrington · 15/12/2017 15:19

I do not notice other women’s arm hair in the slightest, OP. Do it if you want to, but don’t worry about what others think.

Elledorado · 15/12/2017 22:33

This is probably unhelpful, but you have reminded me of a girl I knew in university. She was blonde and very tanned and because she was so brown, you could see that she had really long silvery blonde arm and leg hair and a lot of it. She could not give less of a shit about it, never shaved or anything. And the blokes I knew were all infatuated with her. I guess my point is, we all have physical quirks, sometimes they even make us more exotic/unique/attractive.

40andfeelingit · 15/12/2017 23:44

I had really hairy arms, I mean really hairy, and was always slightly uncomfortable about them. Last summer I had them waxed then blasted them with a Philips Lumea, wish I’d done it years ago, for me not for anyone else. My husband wouldn’t care either way but I think they look better defuzzed and I feel more confident.

RubbishMantra · 16/12/2017 01:06

I used to love my blonde hairy arms. Now I'm sliding into menopause territory, all the fuzz seems to have buggered off. I miss it. Sad Would never have occurred to me to remove it from my arms.

And your coach was entirely weird and inappropriate, pulling hair like that. Report him.

eloisesparkle · 16/12/2017 09:52

I hate my hairy arms but they are fair so I can't Ipl themSad
I am afraid to wax them as I am fearful they will grow back.

CountFosco · 16/12/2017 10:02

last week at soccer practise our college team assistant coach came forward to me and grabbed one of my arms, started to pinch
it and like pulling on my arm hair. "Wow Amy, you've got really hairy arms!", he said.

The issue here is not your entirely normal and natural body hair but your bullying and sexually harassing coach. Agree with Rubbish, make an official complaint about him.

mintich · 16/12/2017 10:18

I shave mine everyday and have done for years

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