How to put on a tankini (yes, seriously!!)

[ilovecherries]

I spent two hideous hours in bravissimo today trying to get a swimsuit for a (uk) holiday next month. Every single one was huge and baggy on the arse, even without being wet. I suspect when wet the legs would be loose enough to reveal All. This is due to the size I require for very significant norkage. Anyway, if I was going abroad I'd just buy a bloody bikini, but since I'm not, and since my grown up children and one of their new partners will be with us, a bikini is off the table. The woman in the shop tried to sell me on the virtues of a tankini but I could not get the frigging thing on. I may have been far too sweaty, exhausted and claustrophobic by that point as well, which wasn't helping. If I tried putting it over my head, I got trapped with my arms in the air and my tits wandering off by themselves under the changing room door. If I tried pulling it up from the bottom, I nearly reopened my CS scars with the wires. I refuse to humiliate myself struggling into one in front of a 25 year old potential daughter in law - so - how the hell of you get into them?

This is due to the size I require for very significant norkage.

Stealth boast?

Over the head, just like a vest top.

surveys own AAA boobies and sighs, sadly

Are you sure? That would mean your overboob measurements is 1" less than your underboob...

Put it loosely round your neck; hoik boobs up into cups, then put arms through.

Rule one, undo the catch on the top inside. Step in, ease it up gently, so the wires (it is wired, I am guessing for significant norkage) can be eased into place and adjusted to catch the gurls. Wriggle a bit until everything is nearly right, then catch the top catch, then scoop everything neatly into place, and breathe. Congratulate yourself on getting the difficult bit sorted. Then step into the bottom half, and pull down until it meets over the middle. And sunbathe. And swim. Getting out again is harder.

Why would you be changing in front of anyone ??

AAA boobies makes it sound like they are battery-operated. Off to think what these boobies could do

Communal changing rooms at the spa?

Thanks everyone. Will go back and try again at the weekend.

Wouldn't it be the same as putting on a one piece?

Cant you just buy a size X top and a size Y bottom?

Ttbb Not usually, because a one-piece is designed to be stepped into with a wide back, whereas a tankini is more like a vest top.

I step into my tankinI, arms through straps sorted.. put the bottoms on first so the top slidespot over them not sticking to your bum

If it's as supportive as a bra could you put it on beforehand under your clothes then you just have to worry about getting out of it in front of people.

I have worn them in the past and have big boobs, they are a pita. I generally out it on over my head and struggle for a while till I get it sitting right.

I just put mine over my head, inserted boobs into boob holders and mine had a neck strap, that was a PITA going down a waterside 😂😂 boobs everywhere when i resurfaced 😂

I usually get different sizes as also need a smaller size on the bottoms

I have similar spectacular norkage. Have to go tankini due to swimsuits being too long.
I put on by stepping in and pulling up. Dh has to fasten. I always put on in accomodation prior to the pool.

Yeah, the reason for considering a tankini is to get different sizes top and bottom. It's just getting INTO the top that's the issue.

Bravissimo do tankinis specifically aimed at the 'large of nork' - not cheap (at least not by my standards!) but might be worth a look -

www.bravissimo.com/collections/all-swimwear/?limit=16&page=1&sortBy=default&f_type[]=balconettetankini&f_type[]=bandeautankini

No-one needs a swimsuit for a UK holiday in December.

Tiedie - That would be brilliant! Robo-Boob!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine - DH frequently used to comment that I have dints instead of bumps. He doesn't any more . . .

@screamingValenta the OP was in bravissimo.

OP have you looked at speedo Sculpture range? The support is not quite what bravissimo provides, but the suits are quite attractive, comfortable and go on relatively easily. Some styles have cup sizes (well, mine from 7 years ago does!).

Oops, apologies, missed that in the first line .

I love the look and comfort of a Tankini. However, trying to get the top off after sweating or swimming is hard! How do you do it?

Agree they are a nightmare to get on and off. Pull over head, yank up a boob at a time then get the cups in place, attempt to do the back and straps up on shoulder last. Just had a week of doing this on hol. Don’t miss it. All the yanking and de-fuzzing involved in swimwear is exhausting!

Ok my boobs aren’t massive (32E) but I defo need to step in to the tanking stop. The struggle over the thighs is infinitely easier than trying to get it on overhead