I've just got back from five days in Le Marais, and I've decided I want become Parisian, s'il vous plait.

[TossDaily]

So there.

EVERYBODY looked fantastic. EVERYBODY. DP and I just sat open-mouthed in fascination. Whatever their age, they looked amazing.

So I'm sitting here on a diet, wearing an Isabel Marant jumper and frantically googling 'How to turn French.'

As far as I can tell, the rules are:

1. Be thin, despite the fact you are walking down the street at 11am gnawing a cheese and ham baguette the length of your forearm.

1. Have your hair the colour and texture of natural hair.

1. Have the most amazing skin, despite the fact you have a permanent Gauloise on the go.

1. Never get pissed and lairy, despite the fact you are having a glass of red wine with your lunch and it's Tuesday.

1. Wear shoes you can walk in.

1. Have an amazing coat.

1. Know how to tie a scarf so it looks like you have slung it on and it's just choosing to snuggle up to you because you are SO FRICKING GORGEOUS.

1. Have a pharmacy on every corner that is just an Aladdin's Cave of miraculous skincare delights for less than a tenner each.

Anyone else have any tips? Joking aside, I loved the style - the shops, ohmigod the shops! It was like I'd walked into my internet shopping history.

I could actually walk around in my biker jacket without feeling like a twat.

I want to be French. Aidez-moi.

Hmm, you're in good company Mme, I'm supposedly a direct descendant (very distant) of the prophet Mohammad, I'm still left waiting on my own personal oil field.

You're not Leonie Frieda by any chance? Not that you'd tell me but I did really enjoy reading her Catherine de Medici biography many moons ago whilst in Paris and thoroughly enjoyed immersing myself into that court life whilst there.

I love all the positivity on here. What I've learned most from watching the French you tubers is that you must accept yourself flaws and all and have them be the thing that makes you different from everyone else.

I can't afford to buy anything at the moment but I've been taking better care of my skin and just wearing a bit of lip colour brightens up my look. I live in a rural area so have to dress for practicality but that can slip into drab so even pulling out one of my scarves and putting it on can instantly improve the look. Plus it's turned very chilly here so still practical!

I agree, this is such a lovely and positive thread. Long may it last.

I have just looked at the Bardot-look eye make tutorial. I am not putting myself down here but I rather think that at 50 my Bardot eye days are over??

I am not buying a single item of new clothing until I have had my colours done in January. Means I will miss all the sales-but the thought of buying something that isn't actually flattering is putting me off.

I'm also descended from Eleanor of Aquitaine - still waiting on my personalised set of armour, large chunk of French real estate and poets writing songs about my extraordinary beauty. So unfair. :(

(I'm pretty sure that my ex husband would also like to imprison me in a tower though so there's that, I suppose?)

Sadly, no, I am not Leonie Frieda. I wish that I was! I don't mind outing myself as my name on here is the same as my blog name and that links to all my books - I write as Melanie Clegg. My last book, about Marie de Guise, featured Catherine de Medici quite a bit though! :)

toss what do you think of your new scarf?

I fully agree with your post on the previous page botemp about being kinder to ourselves. We all have our hang ups and challenges, mine health related in recent years. For a little while after my diagnosis I felt I was no longer worth spending money on because I obviously wasn't going to be around much longer. Fortunately my love of clothes won through and despite a bit of weight gain and feeling pretty awful at times I always make the most of what I have and think about my outfit everyday and put my makeup on. It's part of continuing to feel good about myself.

On another tack and prompted by talk of the Burkin bag, how donfrench women feel about bags. Is there a desire to own a designer bag there as here, is the label everything?

Birkin

I'm absolutely all for feeling good about yourself, well said, botemp. I'm not trying to be french, I very much like British style, but I'm more than happy to incorporate aspects of french style 💄. I do like the idea of eating very good quality food, looking after your hair, skin and body and accepting beauty as being all your flaws too.

My parents live in France, so I have a few bits and pieces that are french, not designer or anything but good quality basics. I'm wearing a long sleeved tee that's from France, it's got a slight v neck, not too fitted, not too loose. Just a good shape, really.

This thread has just got me thinking about my makeup and clothes in a fresh way. Never a bad thing .

Those you who have the Parfois stole, could you check something for me please? Is there a strip of visible stitching on the lining part, where the lining meets the fur? About 5-6 inches long? The rest of the stitching is invisible and that little patch looks quite wonky and a bit messy. Wondering if it's just how they're made or if I have a flawed one.

So obviously I have the stole now. It's very soft and incredibly warm, I like the pin stripe lining. It is browner than expected (mink?) but I think it's an ok colour in me. Main issue (apart from stitching) is that it's very big and I don't know where I would wear it or what with it even how. Would be perfect for a Winter wedding but everyone I know is boring and gets married in the Spring and Summer (me included) so a wedding invite is unlikely.

I'm on the fence. With my stole so nice and warm at least

I'm 42, 5ft 8 and a size 20 but choose to ignore the negatives and concentrate on the good bits (hair, slim legs and bosoms), taken bloody long enough and too many years in baggy ugly clothes.

Hi enid I've just inspected my stole. Yes there is a line of visible stitching along one edge at the half way point. The stole will have been made inside out and the turned the correct way and the hole sewn up. The visible stitching is very neat on mine, I hadn't even noticed it. If I wasn't wearing mine tucked into a belt I think I would have to hold it in place with a good old fashioned brooch, which I don't possess so yet more money!

Oh thank you MrsR, that's fine then. I did wonder if it was that reason but thought I'd check. Don't like to think I've got a dodgy one. It is hardly noticible.

It's a bit wobbly on mine btw. Must've been a different person.

mrsrhodgilbert it's lovely! It's not a winter one, more of a cotton square to be tied at a jaunty angle. It came with tying suggestions so I'll have a play later.

Yes, quirky, I suppose the attitude to life in general from a French perspective is having a higher revere for the better things in life, it doesn't necessarily have to translate into luxury (though they clearly stand at the cradle of it) but it carries down to the things one interacts with every day. Small things matter, so the vegetables you eat have to be of great quality, the animals reared in better conditions, cheeses ripeneed to perfection, etc. it's less tied to ethics as elsewhere but more about getting the best out of something, and that includes yourself.

Now at the risk of being run off the thread and despite designer handbags probably being my other Mastermind specialty subject, I really don't like Birkins.

They're a statement bag but really they're just a statement that you can afford the most expensive recognisable bag around. I really wish Jane Birkin was just left to her baskets, I don't think it even ever suited her whereas the Kelly bag really is a more synergetic fit with Grace Kelly. I don't think I've ever seen a Birkin in France outside of the shop, seen plenty elsewhere.

The French always walk that fine line of appearing well looked after but not that it came at a great effort, it's hard to incorporate a statement bag in such a philosophy. So in that regard labels aren't that important but they do tend to be patriotic about. Not in the sense that everyone is wearing highly recognisable designer handbags. Of course they're there in Paris but not in higher volumes. Most French women will have a Le Tanneur, Lancaster, Gerard Darel, Longchamp (not so much the Le Pliages, they're usually gifted to school going girls in their teens), Lamarthe, etc. They're fairly nondescript, not quite classical in style but not tied to fashion either, functional over the shoulder or crossbody styles. The ultimate in that, is a Hermes though, but a fairly unrecognisable one, the Hermes Evelyne. Officially, you're supposed to wear it logo side in, any other way is considered un peu vulgaire and not how it was originally designed to be worn. See attached pics, though I only ever see the smaller versions of it in Paris (couldn't find pics for those). Unlike the Birkin it's somewhat approachable in price but still a hell of a lot of money. The cognac and greyish taupe seem to be the most popular colour in Paris.

can I garner opinions on the Bardot eye for older women?

I fancy a Kiko pencil. I also fancy looking like a beautiful young thing again, but will settle for looking like a beautiful older thing

makes me think what do older French women make-up wise? I know that's a sweeping generalisation and impossible to answer, but you hopefully know what I mean, the ones who dress with sophistication and style.

Well botemp I think we need a further masterclass on bags. I've only seen a couple of Evelynes, one on a very smart but casually dressed Italian woman in York last year. I followed her up The Shambles trying to get a good look at it. My recent love is Chloe, I have a Paraty and mini Marcie but I have a lot of Mulberry. Mostly from a few years ago and I know it divides opinion hugely on here but each to their own. What do you favour? I think Whistles, Jigsaw, Cos and & Other Stories do great bags.

My official MN answer is, I prefer a bench of course I have to run now but will happily respond to all things bags later as I'll need to take my time with it.

Proper, makeup for older women tends to be slightly pearlescent light shadows on the eyes (Kiko definitely has a few of those in the eyeshadow sticks), light handed and just bringing a bit of light to places but perhaps I'm generalising it, I'd have to do a proper think because there also plenty of older French Parisians who become particularly recalcitrant with age with heavy eyeliner and very bold looks.

As someone mentioned KIKO, they're doing a buy 3 get another 3 products for free on their website. Shipping free over £20 (I think that was the amount).

I like that Hermes Evelyne, but agree that I prefer it without the logo showing. I am quite a fan of crossbody bags, I like those unstructured hobo style bags, but they tend to give me backache.

botemp I think that's exactly what I was thinking with the french attitude to food etc. I'm quite a foodie myself and spent a bit of time in France when I was younger, I remember some truly gorgeous food. I had a Belgian flatmate who was also very focused on quality in food, clothes etc. we had the most amazing meal in Antwerp when I visited.

We do seem to favour fast fashion in this country, rather than buying good quality pieces.

Ah yes of course, a bench, I should have known. That was a good few years ago.

Enid
No visible line of stitching on my stole anywhere . The lining side is pristine.

botemp, you are glorious! Both for your general advice, and for your comments about accepting ourselves as we are.
I'm of mature years now, but have come to realise how much I owe my mother, who never made comments about my weight or appearance.
(Thank God for her! It means I've lived a life unencumbered by those kind of negative thoughts, and could concentrate on other things.

Well, that was an expensive afternoon. Kiko is amazing! Great service and very reasonable prices. They are indeed very highly pigmented, my wrist looks like I’ve put it through a mincer after trying all the red lipsticks.

I also bought the stole. 45 euros so may have been cheaper in the UK even with shipping. Do hope it’s not cheaper on Black Friday. Been on Mumsnet for years and have never bought anything except castor oil based on MN recommendations. I blame Botemp, my new girl crush.

Oh, and Kiko had sold out of the black pencil shadow! They are doing buy three, get three free.

God, I am so tempted to do a Bardot! I am too old. I want to try anyway. I am currently sporting a red chanel whilst in my PJs! I am obsessing over my skin undertone and worrying whether all my expensive lipsticks are infact wrong.
Cool toned skin is supposed to be better with blue based reds but I don't like them on me. I am very confused.
The orange-reds suit me netter than the blue based- well I think so.
It could be that I have some kind of inability to see straight!