I've just got back from five days in Le Marais, and I've decided I want become Parisian, s'il vous plait.

[TossDaily]

So there.

EVERYBODY looked fantastic. EVERYBODY. DP and I just sat open-mouthed in fascination. Whatever their age, they looked amazing.

So I'm sitting here on a diet, wearing an Isabel Marant jumper and frantically googling 'How to turn French.'

As far as I can tell, the rules are:

1. Be thin, despite the fact you are walking down the street at 11am gnawing a cheese and ham baguette the length of your forearm.

1. Have your hair the colour and texture of natural hair.

1. Have the most amazing skin, despite the fact you have a permanent Gauloise on the go.

1. Never get pissed and lairy, despite the fact you are having a glass of red wine with your lunch and it's Tuesday.

1. Wear shoes you can walk in.

1. Have an amazing coat.

1. Know how to tie a scarf so it looks like you have slung it on and it's just choosing to snuggle up to you because you are SO FRICKING GORGEOUS.

1. Have a pharmacy on every corner that is just an Aladdin's Cave of miraculous skincare delights for less than a tenner each.

Anyone else have any tips? Joking aside, I loved the style - the shops, ohmigod the shops! It was like I'd walked into my internet shopping history.

I could actually walk around in my biker jacket without feeling like a twat.

I want to be French. Aidez-moi.

I have fallen down the KarenBritChick rabbit hole. I love her, she's so funny.

Look forward to catching up on this thread tomorrow after a hectic couple of days. I once owned a navy wide leg Massimo Dutti trouser suit (bought in France) but no longer live near a store.

MidLife I blotted my lipstick quite thoroughly and put a little vaseline on so it wasn't too dry. That might make it a softer colour? There might well be a YouTube video on it . It depends what you mean by wonky. My bottomless is fuller than my top, but I just go with it.

I'd forgotten that raspberry red is one of my best colours, I have been wearing so many neutrals. botemp that lipstick sounds gorgeous, I think I could do with a darker red/plum too. I will check out kiko (sits on hands, as did not intend to buy any more makeup).

*bottom lip, autocorrect!

Just looked at Justine on YouTube. She’s so thin. You can see her collarbones. I haven’t seen mine for over 30 years. It’s pointless. You can never look French chic unless you’re thin.

I second the kiko eyeshadow sticks and concealer, they're ace.

Thanks Bo, just landed. Even the ground crew woman was swathed in a scarf and beautifully made up!

Update later....,

Nonsense, falange! It's all about being bien dans sa peau!

Get your red lippy on, jam a beret on your tête, get out there and sashay

I've dug out my burgundy beret for a trip to tesco le supermarche (how do I do accents?). It's knitted and usually annoys me, but I'm going to wear it to protect my hair from the wind and as a test drive to see if I want to keep it. It was too tight, so I took out the elastic, but it is quite loose now. We'll see. Wearing it with a purply mn leopard scarf, perhaps that's more Italian?

Ben dans sa peau, I love it. I do also like that the french admire older women as attractive too. Justine does have lots of rules for Parisian chic. I wear lots of neutrals but would layer up different shades of greys, monochrome, blues etc. I certainly don't match my shoes and bag, but the colour would coordinate somehow into something I'm wearing.

*Bien, autocorrect does not like french!

Has the Sophie Fontanel effect re grey hair been noticeable in Paris?

Yes, can we please, please, not play the 'I'm not her, will never be her, therefore, I'm fat/repulsive/unworthy/whatever and should absolutely hate myself in response' game? While we're at it, can we please collectively let go of this ridiculous notion that the healthiest version of you is the absolute smallest you can be? That doesn't mean I'm insisting that stupid mantra of 'embrace your curves', you're entitled to valid feelings of disappointment but do keep in mind it's the situation and the incentives that brought you to that place that are the cause of disappointment and ultimately resentment but don't place all the blame on your body because that happens to be where it shows physically.

There just isn't any need for all that hate. You can't hate yourself to a better version of you and it's such a huge waste of energy expended on such self-destructive thoughts that only serve to make you feel bad and nothing else. Be kind to yourself, it's what we expect of those that surround us so we really shouldn't undermine that so single-handedly. Those inner voices can be loud, but they can be countered and even silenced, now that's energy worth expending.

This thread isn't about 'becoming' French as far as I'm concerned but simply adapting the methods that emphasise you at your best, that can be with a scarf or a lipstick or even a ball gown. It may well be something completely different and not S&B related at all, it doesn't matter but it does all come with an attitude of accepting that you're worth spending on, that you're worth being cared about and fussed over. That you're owed things, even. It's about being discerning and figuring out what matters to you, in my book that means dropping the dead weight that is this self-sabotaging fallacy of not measuring up. Get your own damn ruler and decide instead what matters to you.

applauds botemp

On a lighter note, my new Parfois scarf just arrived!

I have been absolutely loving this thread as (and perhaps the name gives it away), I am a historian specialising in French royal history and get to go on lovely 'research' trips every now and again. I very rarely buy clothes in France though (I went crazy in the Zara flagship store in Barcelona last month though!) but instead spend all my money on shower gel, Sephora treats, orange blossom eau de cologne (proper French cologne is my secret weapon - I use it for EVERYTHING, a bit like Zoflora in fact) and skincare. This thread has encouraged me to venture into clothes shops a bit more though - thank you!

I've recently found out that Jane Birkin is a distant cousin (yes, you may all form an orderly queue to touch me). Sadly as a short, Celtic redhead I can't say that there is much if any resemblance but it has certainly motivated me to dress a bit better and crack out the messy hair + red lipstick + messy kohl look a bit more often as I feel like I owe it to the honour of the family name!

Oh and I have been desperately wanting a beret but holding off in case I look ridiculous but feel emboldened to buy one now! Merci!

Yes absolutely! To everything Botemp said.

This is so, so important. Making the best of who you are and what your body looks like right now is not just a shallow thing, it’s actually a very important principle. Stand tall, put your lippy on and go out into the world knowing that you have just as much right to be there, dressed in whatever makes you feel good and having made an effort to accentuate your best features, as anybody else!

Yes, another one applauding Botemp. The world is full of people who will tell us, as women, that we don’t measure up because we’re too big, too small, too short, too tall, too pale and ginger, too dark, too anything. For gods sake, don’t let’s be that person to ourselves!

I have been inspired by this thread, I really have, and I have allowed myself to take an extra couple of minutes to apply my makeup with a little more care, and to wear a little jewellery, and to wear my nice coat, not the frumpy, grey, sensible coat I bought as a new Mum veering off into PND, and although all that stuff is shallow on the surface, I feel better for it deep down. No one is ever going too look at me and think ‘Mon dieu, ‘ow can it be that such a stylish francaise lady ‘as landed in a fields dans Norfolk?’ but hopefully they will think ‘That is a person happy in her skin and confident in her style, and may I just add that the mud splashed all up her jeans is tres chic’, and that is achievable by anyone.

MmeGuillotine if you're a Birkin, that must mean you're entitled to a free bag.

Get onto Hermés, forthwith!

Aw, Spudlet, that post gave me a lovely glow. Good on you, lass

frantically searches for some tenuous link to the Birkin heritage

No. The bag will never be mine...

Kiko mascaras are also excellent- long lasting and don’t clump or smudge.

To add to Spudlet's too -isms, when we're made to feel like that is when we're at our most vulnerable into buying shit we don't want or need please ritually burn that sensible grey coat. We're not worthy so anything will do. Not subscribing to that mentality is practically an act of rebellion these days when it really should be the norm.

Spudlet, your mention of taking time reminded me of a quote, yes I'm one of those nerds who collects quotes but it's really suited to this thread as it's from Caroline de Maigret:

“Elegance is about taking the time to listen and understand someone. Even an elegant gesture is a gesture that takes its time. When you see a woman who gently puts her hand on her neck for example, or gets inside a car… It’s often when you take the time, after which we all run, that a certain elegance is born.”

I've recently found out that Jane Birkin is a distant cousin (yes, you may all form an orderly queue to touch me).

You absolutely must wangle a free bag from that connection. Maybe leave the ‘Guillotine’ bit off your name though when making your initial enquiry to the Paris office

Botemp your last post is perfect. I have used this thread to explore different YouTube channels after I became bored with the usual channels I watch which consists of hauls mostly and they are all creeping in to the luxury end. It has also reminded me to look after myself take the time instead of rushing around getting stressed.

(I don't mind the luxury end I buy from them as well but they are all getting the same items.)

I have also just binged watched some videos from a channel called the very French girl.

Inspired by this thread, I have ordered the Kiss Me Heroine Lift and Curl tubing mascara that Botemps recommended. It's coming from Japan (£12.10 as opposed to £25 for Amazon Prime eligible) so I won't get it until mid December - but I'm looking forward to trying it out.

Alas, I am not a Birkin so I suspect that they will treat my request for a bag with Gallic disdain.

Still, discovering that I am related, albeit distantly, to a bone fide style icon has definitely made me up my game a bit!