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Original poster

I've just seen a photo of myself and I look dreadful

112 replies

StopMeLookingShit · 23/10/2017 17:27

My hair looks really yellow, my teeth look horrendous and I just look really bloody boring. I also have terrible skin.

I've had issues with myself ever since I was a teen when I overheard someone say 'she'd be hot if she had a bag over her head'. I don't mind my body so much, I just really hate myself from the neck up.

I used to shy away from photos but I started to regret having no photos of myself to look back on, and now I bloody regret letting anyone near me with a camera.

What are your tips for making yourself feel better? I am in the process of looking into braces for my teeth, which I hope will make a big difference.

I think lightening my hair would also help, but I follow the Curly Girl method now and I can't work out whether bleaching it will damage the curls.

I'm only bloody 28, I really don't want to be feeling this rubbish about myself when I should be feeling my best.

I'd post the picture, but I don't have a thick enough skin to deal with the negative comments.

OP posts:
Wh1stles · 23/10/2017 18:34

Also, I think people who are down on themselves are comparing themselves to a fairly high standard whereas the people you're coming across in real life, if they have any sort of knee jerk reaction to your looks, if on autopilot they're comparing you to any standard at all, it's an average standard they're comparing you to. NOT model / actress standard, so cut yourself a LOT of slack.

Wh1stles · 23/10/2017 18:36

You look lovely!! very attractive.
I see why you're self conscious about your teeth but I wouldn't have noticed if you hadn't said anything. I don't think you HAVE to get your teeth fixed in order to look nice. You certainly do not look dreadful.

I was expecting waynetta!

PolkaDottyRose · 23/10/2017 18:38

My goodness, you are lovely!

Bearberry · 23/10/2017 18:39

You're beautiful. Seriously.

Regularsizedrudy · 23/10/2017 18:43

You are lovely looking! Your hair is fantastic

Original poster
StopMeLookingShit · 23/10/2017 18:47

I'm not sure posting the photos was the best idea really, because you are hardly all going to say 'oh yes I see what you mean' after telling me to be more positive, but I do really appreciate the lovely comments.

Do we think lighter hair is better?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 23/10/2017 18:49

You look perfectly lovely and normal - you look like most people look if that makes sense.

I think you are comparing yourself to a standard that does not exist of photoshopped stars that distorts actual reality

mermaidbright · 23/10/2017 18:49

I would be happy to look like you. You are a pretty lady. Trust us Smile

MyBrilliantDisguise · 23/10/2017 18:51

I think you look beautiful. I was almost afraid to look after your description!

My son had his teeth straightened with an invisalign brace - it look about 6-8 months and cost £3,000 at a private dentist's. I know they took instalments. If you are very self-conscious about your teeth could you do something like that? His dentist threw in a free whitening treatment, too, and a retainer to wear at night. His teeth look fantastic now.

Veterinari · 23/10/2017 18:54

I love your hair in the current photo - much nicer au natural than the bleached look, and your curls are ace.

Your skin is nice and you have lovely eyes - you’re pretty!

millifiori · 23/10/2017 18:54

You really genuinely are lovely. your hair is gorgeous. Funnily enough I know a few woman with hair very similar to yours who love it and think it's theri best feature (which it is.) So it's all point of view. they love having hair like yours. You don't.

I can't see your teeth in that small photo but can see that you have a really beautifully shaped face - not too wide or too narrow - really well-proportioned.

One person said something bitchy years ago. Have you never questioned why you take that to heart and believe it? Who said it? Why might they have said it? Jealousy? Bitchiness? Anger at the world? How likely is it that they genuinely believed you were that plain. You're not. No one in their right mind would think you are.

JanetStWalker · 23/10/2017 18:56

Also, I think people who are down on themselves are comparing themselves to a fairly high standard whereas the people you're coming across in real life, if they have any sort of knee jerk reaction to your looks, if on autopilot they're comparing you to any standard at all, it's an average standard they're comparing you to. NOT model / actress standard, so cut yourself a LOT of slack.

Bloody hell, that's a really sensible way to look at it. Talk about a lightbulb moment!

OP, the very light blonde is exquisite on you, made you look ethereal. Go back to that if you can. Flowers

Smeaton · 23/10/2017 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theconifers25 · 23/10/2017 19:03

You are actually striking in the photo in the right. I've no reason to comment about this only to say this is the truth IMO.
I would revert back to that look as you look truly lovely. That's it.

EvelynWardrobe · 23/10/2017 19:05

I love the curls in the wedding(?) picture, but love the coolness of the tone in the side-on pic.

Have you tried purple shampoos to keep the yellow at bay?

I know what you mean about looking boring, I often feel that about myself.

How about keeping the curls but changing the shape a bit? New specs?

I've just seen a photo of myself and I look dreadful
LastGirlOnTheLeft · 23/10/2017 19:06

Boring would be the last word I would use to describe your look!! If I saw you in real life I would feel like I wanted to meet you and get to know you. You have so many beautiful features. Your teeth are a bit crooked but they don’t detract at all from your beauty and can easily be fixed! I love your hair!

vitaminC · 23/10/2017 19:06

At one time I felt like you. I honestly believed that most women were naturally far more attractive than me.
This video: was life-changing for me and I realised I was comparing myself with an ideal that didn't actually exist!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 23/10/2017 19:07

I think you need to see someone about your dysmorphia!

Yes, your teeth would benefit from orthodontics.

Your hair is lovely if not cutting edge edgy (is that what you want?).

I can see nothing wrong with your skin.

I see what you mean about boring. I wouldn't say boring but I based on what you said it seems your exterior does not reflect your actual personality.

Do you know what kind of Not Boring you want to be? Could you post of picture of someone you would like to look like?

dorislessingscat · 23/10/2017 19:13

Agree with everyone. You are lovely. Yes, your teeth could be straighter but that can be fixed.

Stay away from the airbrushed models in the magazines. They aren’t real. Flowers

ShirleyPhallus · 23/10/2017 19:19

I'm absolutely not just saying it to make you feel better, I read the comments before I saw the picture and thought "oh everyone is probably being really kind, she can't be THAT pretty given what she has said"

But you are. Gorgeous hair. Lovely skin and bone structure. Your teeth are being fixed so that's that.

In which case, get thee to therapy asap

(But do go to Charlotte tilbury anyway as the stuff is so gorgeous)

Original poster
StopMeLookingShit · 23/10/2017 21:47

That video is very poignant, isn't it vitamin? Thanks for sharing it, that's really eye-opening. I think I knew they did a lot of editing, but I'm not sure I was aware they edited the shape and size of actual facial features.

I do like my curls. Mainly as they are so low maintenance now! But I think I will go lighter again with the colour.

I also always feel better with a bit of colour on my face, so I think I will invest in a moisturiser with a touch of tanner in to try and keep the summer colour going longer.

I think therapy possibly isn't a bad idea, though. I would love to feel so much more comfortable in my skin. I'm quite good at chatting to people and come across quite confident on the exterior, but I wish I actually felt like that on the inside too.

OP posts:
Dustbunny1900 · 23/10/2017 21:48

I was picturing something totally different. In the first pic you're on the pretty/cute end definitely, and in the second you are down right beautiful.
if you feel you are boring, spruce things up a bit and have some fun w your look..for yourself.
I have a dysmorphic unhealthy view of my looks where I never believe I'm good enough so I'm not one to talk but ignore that asshole with his nasty comment..NOBODY in the world will look beautiful to everyone. Screw him.

dorislessingscat · 23/10/2017 21:50

How old are you OP? I was over 40 before I started to realise that how I looked was fine. I lament my 20s and 30s when I wasted time comparing myself to impossible ideals.

JoyceDivision · 23/10/2017 21:54

You're beautiful! Seriously, if I posted a pic ofme next to you I would look like a troll!!

Personally, I love bobs and shorter inverted cuts, I wouldsuggest a shorter haircut purely on a personal bias.

But op you are really pretty x

Poppyfields21 · 23/10/2017 21:57

Oh my goodness pleaaaase don’t touch your hair it is beautiful! I’d kill for hair like yours. I think the colour is lovely as it is.
I also honestly think you have a really lovely face. Have you tried the LVL lash thing? You can actually just have your lashes tinted and permed and it’s nearly as good but then you don’t have to bother with eye make up on a day to Day basis.
For going out looks if you’re looking for something to glam yourself up a bit I’d say to go to Charlotte Tilbury, they have these great like chubby eyeshadow stick things that you literally just rub along your upper and lower lash line and they make you look glam. Also, there or Bobbi Brown will happily do a full makeover for free with no pressure.
I invested in having my teeth done about 15 years ago now and hands down it was the best money I have ever spent. Before that I always covered my mouth when I laughed etc and it was so tiring and upsetting so if you want to do it then I’d say definitely save up and go for it as there’s no way you’ll regret it.
You’re a very beautiful young lady but clearly lacking in confidence, maybe some cognitive behavioural therapy would help you break the negative thought cycles?

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