DD's REALLY tangled hair - recommend products please!

[DrPill]

DD who is 10 has the worst hair I've ever seen. It's long, thick and straight, and no matter how much I get trimmed off, it's a massive tangle of knots.
Some are so bad I've had to cut them. They starts around ear length and continue to the ends.
Even if I brush it before her bath or shower, the act of shampooing it makes it so tangled that it takes me 10 minutes to comb through conditioner.
Just now, I brush it before her bath, it's shampooed, I brush through conditioner, squeeze dry with a towel and it's left to dry naturally with serum or coconut oil on the ends.

Other than the knots, it doesn't need to be washed every day so I try not to. It's usually okay the morning after being washed. By that afternoon, it is awful again.
I've tried all sorts of shampoos and conditioners - even expensive salon brands. I've tried loads of serums and oils, intensive conditioning masques and build-up removing shampoo. I've had it cut shorter. NOTHING works.
Any advice would be very welcome!

We had this when DD was 10. She has long hair and following incident with aunt taking her to hairdresser for first hair cut (don't get me started) it took a long time before she had trust and let me help her. It took months to work all the clumps out a little bit at a time. I used a wide toothed comb, the occasional tiny snip with scissors and LOTS of Pantene conditioner (which I know is a bit weird for a child but it worked). Now she just uses Pantene and it keeps her hair tangle free.

I found a tangle teezer really useful and not as painful. I would second the PP re: plaiting or tying it up during the day as well.

Don’t know if it’s still as good but I used to use Body Shop banana conditioner on my daughter

We found the tangle tamer from Tesco so much better than a tangle teaser. I’ve also just switched to bed head red and her hair is so much less tangle free.

It gets plaited at night wet or dry and the brush goes straight through in the morning if she wants it down, and isn’t too tangly come the end of the day. We also wash on a 3 day cycle.

L'Oréal do a miracle oil, you use a teeny amount on wet hair but don't rinse it out.

So I shampoo dds hair with an sls free shampoo (she has eczema) which makes it tangle like crazy, and then I just squirt a teensy bit of miracle oil on my fingers and it magically combs through. I make dd wear a plait to sleep and her hair for school is always put up in a way that it can't get tangled (so no pony tails but lots of buns, French plaits, pigtails, rope braids, etc)

My daughter's hair doesn't sound as bad as your daughter's but I've found this to be a godsend. I put it on after washing and it makes brushing it out really easy and it gets knotty much less often. I had a sample from a Birchbox and was amazed it worked so well.

I recommend a wet brush instead of a tangle tamer - I have thick very curly hair & thectangle tamer only brushes/detangles the top layer of hair.
Agree with everyone else about sleeping with it tied up/in plaits

not a cheap solution but Moroccanoil treatment worked wonders for my daughters frizzy, tangled, matted hair.

this one: m.feelunique.com/p/Moroccanoil-Treatment-100ml-with-FREE-Hydrating-Shampoo-and-Conditioner-70ml

Does she swim regularly? If so it could be the chlorine coating the hair, it makes it very shiny but sticky so the tangles are worse. I have my hair short to solve the problem, our hairdresser recommended washing DDs hair with washing up liquid, the high pH breaks down the chlorine coating the hair. It did make a tremendous difference, we need to do it about once a month.

I should also point out that the high pH is very bad for your eyes so if you do this wash her hair over a sink like at the hairdresser (leaning back, looking up) and be very careful to wash all the soap off her hair and forehead. If you did get any in the eyes it would need several minutes of rinsing out and probably a trip to A&E just to be sure. There may be other ways of getting the same effect, baking soda probably being the first call.

I was coming on to say a wet brush
Far superior to a tangle tamer
Don't buy from Amazon though. It seems there are a lot of fakes on there
We got ours from Boots
The tangle tamer just went over the top of her hair and there was a permanent knot (huge) at the nape.
The wet brush has transformed her hair
I'm not sure why it's called a wet brush it's fine on dry hair

Plaiting it will really help, both during the day and overnight.

Fudge One Shot is great on my DDs hair. Just spray a bit on after washing. The difference is amazing.

Following!

I strongly recommend the Elvive Extraordinary Oil rang. My dd is 11 and we had huge problems with her hair tangling and matting.
It could literally mat overnight.
I started using the conditioner with her Eucerin shampoo (she has eczema). It really helped so I decided to try the shampoo too. Her sensitive skin tolerates it really well and her hair is amazing now. She is so proud of it and it used to be such a battleground for us.
I also use the Extraordinary oil on her dry hair when brushing it between washes.

how do you shampoo her hair?
gently massaging backwards help, no wild scratching.
don't rub dry, gently squeeze out water with a towel.
only ever brush hair when cold, never when it's hot from hairdryer.

Definitely plaits, for bed, windy days & exercise at the very least. My DD has very long, thick hair (to her bum; she's 5). We rarely have serious tangle problems, but she almost never wears it down. A bun would also be suitable, preferably not the messy type though. There are lots of lovely bun tutorials online for various lengths & thicknesses.

On the odd occasion we've had a serious tangle (battery operated fan springs to mind; we had a proper dreadlock situation), I've used a dressmaking pin to unpick the tangle slowly. It takes a blooming age but if it's a major tangle quite near the roots it can save a major haircut.

Ultimately if your DD wants to keep her long hair, she needs to accept that it needs to be up for a decent proportion of the time. Keeping it up will protect it. My DD has had her hair plaited every day since she was 2, she got used to it... if she complains I threaten the scissors.

Plait before going to bed. The biggest difference was we had it cut by from waist length to shoulder blade length. It's made a world of difference - no more tears on brushing, it was just too thick long & knotty before.

Cowboy Magic.