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Original poster

The obsessing, purchasing and discarding cycle

61 replies

splendidisolation · 30/09/2017 14:42

Does anyone get this? So I'll focus on a thing that I will then obsess over for ages, admiring it, looking at photos, reading reviews, obsessing over how much I need and want it.

Then, I'll buy it - how exciting!

When it comes, the feeling evaporates: sometimes almost as soon as I have it, sometimes a few days later.

OP posts:
PolkadottyRose · 01/10/2017 10:33

I'm currently obsessing over a navy Pea Coat in M and S. I don't need it, but it's sucking me in like a poor doomed moth to a flame.

HappenstanceMarmite · 01/10/2017 10:48

Love a pea coat goes to look/obsess

Therealslimshady1 · 01/10/2017 10:52

I do this

But always check it is free delivery and returns first!

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 10:57

My waterloo = shoes. And leather jackets.

brogueish · 01/10/2017 11:18

Yes. I have this too. Clothes, trainers, boots, makeup... Can be absolutely anything though, the most recent being a bike, and I currently have £500 sat in my dining room that I'm having a nightmare returning. It's as though I lose all perspective when I'm in research mode.

I'm genuinely embarrassed about this. In every other aspect of my life I am responsible, rational, level-headed.

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 11:28

Right now, I have three pairs of Stan Smiths that I bought in the ASOS sale that I don't need but want.

doctorboo · 01/10/2017 12:20

I'm sort of like this. Ok, I'm a lot like this Blush

I get obsessed with something and either get it and love it so much I use/wear it loads and then suddenly go off it; or get it and feel really blah about it from the start.

I'm currently dithering about buying a necklace that's £50 (that includes the taxes and shipping) and I want it. But, I've never spent that kind of money on 'just' a silver necklace.
I've not purchased it yet because I worry it'll arrive and the love for it will instantly dissipate...

ElspethFlashman · 01/10/2017 12:29

This is why I only purchase from places with free returns. At least then I don't have to feel too guilty. It goes back and has cost me nothing.

I am going through a dangerous Monki phase but thankfully it's on ASOS so I can return it all if needs be.

Paintbox · 01/10/2017 12:37

I had a top that I liked but never wore because for some reason I never liked how it looked on me. I gave it to a charity shop. Then I saw Louise rednapp in similar top, so stalked my old top on eBay for months, bought it, never wore it as it didn't look right on me and then gave it to a charity shop. Yes I am a complete muppet

BusterGonad · 01/10/2017 12:55

Morris I've done that! The fool I am! 😂

shouldaknownbetter · 01/10/2017 14:05

I do this. But I send or take back around 3/4 of what I buy. I have heard it referred to as 'shopping bulimia'. It is the 'thrill of the chase' I think.

BusterGonad · 01/10/2017 19:40

I've actually got skirt and jumper in the wardrobe which I listed after for a good few weeks and now I'm in 2 minds about it. I had visions of myself looking all retro and 60s and now I'm not sure if I just look like frumpy in it! Sad

BusterGonad · 01/10/2017 19:41

Lusted!!!...

Gah81 · 01/10/2017 19:42

The other thing about vintage is that there are no returns, so if you change your mind, you have to lump it or sell it on. Thankfully lots of vintage keeps its value pretty well :)

silkpyjamasallday · 01/10/2017 19:57

@HappenstanceMarmite a hooded cat litter tray sounds like it would need a lot of research, but as cats are tricky creatures it could all be for nothing! At least if it's for you and you don't like something you only have yourself to blame. I remember being seriously pissed off with an ex boyfriend who was not appreciative enough of the burnt orange cashmere jumper I got him as a gift and had spent ages 'researching' note the ex Grin

Bobbins43 · 01/10/2017 20:00

I do that with so many things. Is there a cure?

HeyRoly · 01/10/2017 20:46

Oh, totally. It's all about the thrill of the chase.

Piratesandpants · 01/10/2017 20:50

Hey - you're absolutely right.

HappenstanceMarmite · 01/10/2017 21:41

silkpyjamas
Luckily he loved his new tray!

My worst recent research/obsess/buy/regret epic was the saga of the dining table and chairs. I spent literally hours searching for a second hand, large table with six chairs. So many bargains to be had! You can buy beautiful furniture second hand that would have cost ten times as much new. So I found a stunning oak table with inlaid walnut marquetry with good chairs. Spent ages getting quotes from couriers to fetch it. The very second it was brought into my flat I knew I'd made a terrible mistake. It completely dominated the room and wouldn't have been out of place in the court of Henry VIII 😱

I contacted British Heart Foundation the very next day and asked them to pick it up! I lost hundreds over that table, but I couldn't face trying to sell it or even discussing it. I couldn't sit at the table either. I tried to ignore the Goliath in my room. Was a very disturbing experience but I clearly have learned nothing from it

BulletFox · 01/10/2017 22:02

Definitely not with clothes or home stuff now, I already have nice things and have a good idea about what to purchase e.g. the last thing I bought was a liberty tweed skirt, to replace a tweed skirt from 1999 which had got damaged.

I'm more random with beauty boxes etc and can be easily swayed

Haffiana · 01/10/2017 22:47

The multiples of stuff is my problem. If I like something (clothes, makeup) I immediately start to think that I need another one exactly the same, in case the one I have is damaged or destroyed.

Last year I bought so many pairs of boots that I simply don't need any whatsoever this year, and probably not for the next 5 years and I feel really rather bereft that I don't need to go out and hunt some down. I need to get a grip on this!

Snog · 02/10/2017 07:06

I do this too, I recognise it in myself as being obsessive compulsive. Last autumn I bought about 8 coats, this autumn about 8 pairs of shoes. I kind of hit on a category of purchases and then get a bit excessive within that category. I have reined this behaviour back massively but haven't managed to completely stop yet. Autumn is my annual clothes binge time, the rest of the year I'm not really like this so much.

I have found my own behaviour very difficult to modify without professional help.
In Victorian times if I had been rich I would definitely have been a "collector"!

FleaRiddenScruffBag · 02/10/2017 07:19

Think I am in partial remission. Something in me seems to have flicked a switch of some kind, though no idea how or why! Possibly, for me, it is age. I am now 48 and I seem to be genuinely shocked by a) how many clothes I have - many of which are unworn and b) the consumer trap I had spiralled into. As someone said upthread it seemed to be the "next project". Have consciously decided that my happiness is not related to buying the next thing! Am absolutely not trying to lecture or scold. I still enjoy the thrill of the chase but now it seems to end once I have put the item in my virtual basket - I can then walk away without buying it.

withlotsoflove · 02/10/2017 11:45

I have it!
My funniest one was buying/ tracking down oatmeal cardigans!
I get it with beauty products too.
If l buy one thing in a makeup range - l pretty much need my whole face to be done from that range! GrinConfused

Wtfdoicare · 02/10/2017 11:55

If I find something I like and fits perfectly I have to order at least one more of the same style, different colour. It is a bit much, I want to break that cycle.