Desperate help for frumpy feeling young mum!

[smileygrapefruit]

I need some serious help and inspiration. I'm in my mid 20s and a mum of 3 DC under 4 years old. I am not in terrible shape (size 12 5ft 7, aiming for a 10 but will give myself some time after dc3) but I really struggle to know what to wear (especially since kids I have very big hips and a bit of a tum). I have never been stylish but I used to be cool pre kids when I had a flat stomach and could wear whatever mishmash of clothes first came to hand !!! I don't have a big budget but I'm really looking for some inspiration for a few staple items/outfits that will help me feel like me again and not just some old before her time frumpy mum! Thank you!!!

Anyone? Please! It's really starting to get to me

Ankle length tight jeans
Flat pumps
Slouchy top/floaty top

Look in everything £5 some bargains to be had

Thank you tulips. Everything £5? Is that a shop?!

I'm older (late thirties) so you may not want the same things! I have a bit of a tummy at the moment too and have bought some new jeans which actually fit round the waist. I went for higher waisted after reading advice on here. This has massively improved my muffin top.

Also have ditched my T shirts which really highlighted my tummy and am trying some floater tops which looks much better but it is hard to find ones that are loose enough not to cling but not too loose to be frumpy at the same time.

Toostressy I think higher waisted jeans are the way to go... gone are the days of wearing jeans that nearly show the top of my pubic bone! I really struggle with tops, like you say, either too clingy or too frumpy. Think I need a personal stylist!

Personally, I'd give the opposite advice to "look in 'everything 5.com". It's cheap tat that won't fit well and will make you look worse.

Shops seem to have divided themselves lately, either courting the wealthy teenage market (by which I mean age 14s) or the wealthy middle-class mum market. This means you have Boohoo, Missguided and Forever 21 in one corner (it doesn't wash well and often looks cheap) and White Stuff, Boden, Joules and Seasalt in the other corner (items are often of better quality, although that hasn't been the case for a couple of years - more polyester creeping in, more bobbling on washing, I think.)

Neither are really a great option. Too cheap and it looks, well, cheap. And the Boden-esque prints look frumpy, mumsy and old-before-your-time. They seem to keep cutting their sizes bigger every year "to hide your lumps and bumps lolz hun" and everything becomes sack-like.

So aim for somewhere in the middle that still wants young women customers. Zara, Mango and Oasis and their ilk. If you want to spend a little more, Cos and &Other Stories are popular (but too grey and boxy for me.) Browse instagram and, if you see styles you like, find out where they're shopping.

I like Hollister (the unbranded stuff) as well. Fits well, washes well. I also like US brands like United By Blue and Ten Tree, which is fantastic quality and ethically made.

Thanks Aeviternity I think you're right. I need to invest in some good quality, well fitting stuff but I just don't know what!

I disagree!

Everything £5 does have some good quality stuff, you have to know your materials

I have lots of long tunic tops I wear for work and they look fine

I've never heard of or looked on there so will definitely have a browse.

Google a blog called The Spike. Good info re capsule wardrobe ideas.

I was going to suggest On the Spike's capsule wardrobe posts as well.
onthespike.com/?s=Capsule+wardrobe+

I think her advice is perhaps more aimed at mums in their 30s rather than 20s, and she is mostly talking about clothes for summer, but you can probably still glean some helpful tips and ideas from it. She emphasises picking things that you feel comfortable wearing, which is surprisingly easy to forget when you're feeling a bit lost and trying to find your 'new style'.

I also recommend buying fewer things but higher quality.

Can you give us any ideas of the kind of things you like wearing? E.g. at heart are you a jeans and trainers person, or do you love smart, tailored style things? Do you prefer drapey style tops/dresses or close-fitted?

I'm mid 20s and all my shopping gets done at H&M or Missguided online.
I live in black skinny jeans/skinny jean type 'jeggings' & t shirts or jumpers. I'm not particularly stylish but I'm more comfortable in black stuff and jumper type tops.
I live in trainers too though so I'm not particularly 'mum like' with the way I dress.
I suggest ordering a few bits (Missguided has free next day delivery and free returns) and have a try on marathon and see what you like!

Thanks chocolate and gremlin I will have a look at that.

Definitely a jeans girl. I'm not really very girly or made up unless going out. I used to rock jeans/t shirt/converse, hair shoved in a ponytail sometimes with a scarf in it. I've been looking back at pics of me even just 5 years ago and I looked effortlessly cool but I think that's easy when you've got a skinny/toned body.

Oh thanks outof will have a look.

Do you wear skinny jeans/jeggings? When I was out shopping the other day I noticed (now it's coming into autumn) lots of young women wearing skinnies and flat Chelsea style boots. Easy to wear, practical when running round after kids, and looks good.

Yes, Gremlin, I do. That sounds good. Thinking about it I think I really need to invest in some new shoes, they make a big difference don't they. I think I struggle mostly with what to wear on top so I don't feel fat or look like I'm just wearing a sack.