can we discuss bobs and what makes them frumpy

[PigOnStilts]

I wrote a massive post about bobs.
It disappeared into the ether.

This is my second, more concise attempt.

want a bob.
but not a frumpy mum bob.
what IS a frumpy mum bob?
I do not want a frumpy bob
I am 42 and live in adidas and have a big bum. I can't afford a frumpy do!

Is it too layered ie wispy and ageing?
Too structured?
Too helmety like dawn OPorter?
I want a graduated bob without any layer (see attached)

What's happening these days in terms of bobs??

Mine is in a chin length bob at the moment, just long enough to tie back which I need to be able to do because it's really thick and I get too hot with it down in the heat! My hairdresser is amazing and really thins it so it's not the triangle shape which makes a bob frumpy. She layers it around the bottom so that it doesn't stick out but still looks one length. My hair is wavy so I can dry it and straighten it so it's sleek or scrunch it and have it wavy, the layering helps with this.

Pinterest is your friend! I have a hair board and it really helps as you can show pics of what you don't want, as well as what you do! The right length for your face is key with a bob too, I can't go too short as I've got a long face, so the front needs to be under my chin to look right.

I have one like this... My hair won't do anything longer than a bob, it's too fine and straggly.

Thanks for the diagrams! They kind of sum up my fears....
and I never saw jennifer aniston with a bad haircut before!

I have thick hair with a kink, which is in really good nick because I avoid heat, so dont want something which will need loads of styling

The title implies that i hate bobs. I don't! but I want something fantastic!

OP I've got thick hair with a kink and without loads of styling and product it turns into a mushroomy mum bob!!

Do a "lob". -long bob. If your hair is thick with a curl pattern, do "the wavy lob". If it's poker straight do blunt ends. Throw in highlights or smthg that makes it look a little funky or in style or like it's not totally wash n go (even if it is) . I think that's one of the keys to avoiding "the soccer mom".
Avoid Kate gosselin graduated bobs at all cost. Or the poofy triangle head

What exactly is s bob? Everyone here seems to have a different opinion!

Argue that sounds worrying...one side is all bouffant, the other side is flatter and falls better.....with long hair of course, this isnt noticeble, with a bob it's critical!

I think its more about the length of the bob that makes is frumpy or not. You need to find the right length to flatter your face shape.

Some of the pictures look very high maintenance. I fear mine is very boring and Mumsy right now.

Urgle what products do you use to style it?

I'm going to answer before I read the thread.

I think what makes a bob frumpy or mummy or whatever is less about your hair and more about how you carry yourself.

Sigh, *mumsy

@shop Just Bumble + Bumble thickening spray and Uniq 1.

A lot of the "not-frumpy" bob photos on here look like you have to have it all falling down over one eye. That would drive me crazy within minutes. Is it possible to have a "just wash and go" shorter haircut that stays out of your face?

100% agree with Holger - it's all about how you carry yourself and in my case also my mood. If I'm having a frumpy mumsy day I think my bob looks frumpy and mumsy; if I'm feeling funky and happy with myself, I think my hair looks that way too.

Trusted others say it suits me though so I suppose it must be right most of the time.

Also bear in mind with thick hair, the weight in the length pulls it down. mine pouffs up (not a technical term) a lot in a bob, giving the impression that I had an enormous head.

The other thing I didn't consider was as a pp mentioned, it can be annoying to have hair always at the sides of your face. Of course you might not mind that.

Polkadot- love the idea of a grumpy bob

You say 'too helmety like DOP' but I think she looks fab with her bob. It really suits her face shape. It would look awful on me, my features aren't 'elfin' enough to pull it off. Bobs like that look like moonfaced primary school photo bowl cuts on me, mores the pity.

I have a Phoebe Waller-Bridge type bob. My hair is frizzy, so it does need to be blow dried, but then I think very few styles look really good if you don't style them a bit.

This is mine, I'm now worried it looks frumpy although I've never thought so before. Graduated bob so longer at the front.

Littlepig, I like your hair. It looks sharp and in gorgeous condition.

I suppose to me, bobs that are overstyled, blow dried and bouffanty fall into the 'mumsy' category. Though tbh, I hate that term. Is there such a thing as 'dadsy'? Why are we so offended by 'mothers'? Why is it a byword for sexless, styleless person? Why do we allow that to stand as an insult, a putdown?

Great point Nom, I hereby resolve never to use that word again.

I am not a fan of a bob, I'll be honest. It seems to be the default hair style choice of women once they've had children/hit a certain age. I know so many women who have stunning long hair , hit mud forties and get a variation on a bob. And age about a decade in one fell swoop.
And straight cut fringes. Just. No.

Well there's dad dancing, and dad music to balance things out. Very much as uncool as mumsy.

Just thought - there is "dad dancing" I suppose.