I'm a fat rectangle! Dress me!

[EvelynWardrobe]

I've put my measurements into one of those body shape calculators and it turns out I'm a rectangle. I do have a good round bum though, so I'm slightly doubtful as rectangles are supposed to have flat bums. I used to have a waist until I had DD, even though I've always been chubby, so perhaps I've just migrated from hourglass to rectangle over the years.

So, I'm not sure what to do with my newfound rectangular status. I think I'd like to wear dresses and skirts more but feeling a little defeated, having lived in jeans and trousers for aeons.

I'm size 16, 5'4", long body, short muscular legs and prefer edgier clothes to florals.

Buy tthe Trinny & Susannah book "Dress for your shape" book. Cheap on Amazon ATM.

I'm a rectangle since kids. I swear by shift dresses. At least in them you can't really tell I have no waist anymore. And my legs are ok. I literally go to a site and put shift dress into the search box. You soon learn what to look for.

With skirts I find thick A line ones best. Like corduroy or denim with buttons all the way down the front. Nice and stiff and sticking out so you look wider at the hem than at the waist.

I'm exactly your shape (just taller) - but I've never been hourglass, rectangle since birth :D

Show the legs!

I tried a couple of shift dresses but they hung off my boobs and made me look like a barrel.

It's counterintuitive to show the legs, they're so short and like two number 8s carved out of ham.

Good thought about the skirts, I'll look.

Are you sure you're not just being so hard at yourself? If you're a rectangle, you'll have good legs. :)

I never knew there was such a thing as a body shape calculator. I've just discovered I'm a pear.

Shift dresses make me look like a barrel too. :) For dresses fit-and-flare worked when I used to wear them.

This is why I'm a bit confused as to whether I'm actually a rectangle. I have a round bum (my best feature along with good knockers) but barely any waist nowadays. Sadly as my midsection changed my legs didn't get longer.

But legs don't have to be long or skinny. In opaque tights curvy legs look great.

In Primark you can get opaques that have a thick sock stitched onto the foot. I'm wearing them today and they are a cosy marvel. You just need to wear ankle boots as there's a seam around your ankle bone that shows.

My legs are like this, with a bit more fat at the top. This woman looks great, but I'm considerably older. I don't think I have the confidence to show my knees. And I couldn't wear heels, I'm too heavy so I find them sore.

Huh, the body shape calculator (also didn't know these existed) says I'm a spoon! What the hell? The description of this is more flat chested than an hourglass with good waist and tendency to gain weight on belly - definitely sounds right, but sounds nothing like a spoon! The clothes it suggests are all wrong though - empire lines and straight leg jeans - no way. I am short and an empire line hides my waist and straight leg jeans look bootcut on me as my thighs are bigger than my calves, and I look bigger all the way down. I like tapered mom or skinny high waisted jeans and things that curve or crop in at the waist. So, I'm thinking the calculator is a lot of crap, even if it does get the description of me right. If you have a nice bum and curvy legs, try a stretchy tube pencil skirt with a loose thin knit jumper. Shows off your bum and hides your waist. Or mannish tailoring with slouchy trousers and loose long sleeved t-shirt/fine knit jumper?

Like this: www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.pinterest.co.uk/amp/pin/77546424814469077/
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f9/ce/67/f9ce67a1003e752001086b5574edcb26.jpg

I know both those models are tall and wearing heels but I find brogues or pointy flats work well with both these outfits.

Ooh Mary, I like both those. Wonder where I'd get those trousers?

I'd say you've got good strong legs worth showing! Get them out!

I think those trousers might be topshop, the model looks familiar. However, I think Cos and warehouse and the new arket place might also be good places to look for trousers. You want your jumpers to be hip length, not covering your bum, as your bum is nice, and ideally you want a cami underneath that clings in between your breasts so you don't get a boob shelf effect. This is also avoided by not bothering wearing a vest underneath but I tend to want one in case I get hot.

And what are those trousers called? Peg leg?

I love everything in Cos, but I've given up buying from there as I send everything back. I'm just too dumpy and stout.

So, for skirts, I'm to look at a line corduroy or denim, or a pencil skirt in heavy jersey?

Bless you Buster.

Oh, I should have said, I have a glorious overhang, so tend to wear tops to the bottom of my fly. Would a skirt just be shouting, "look at my awful stomach!"?

Yes, I think so. I like what's sometimes called posh joggers too. I find the tapering shape is important on my short curvy legs.
m.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/pinstripe-trousers-by-boutique-6886702
m.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/belted-peg-trousers-6850830
www.arket.com/en_gbp/productpage.0534835001.html

That was yes to the trouser question, not the overhang! I don't know, you'd need to experiment a bit. Maybe a lined pencil skirt rather than jersey if worried about lumps and bumps? Not quite as comfy though! Or if you manage trousers and a loose top, how about culottes? Show off more of your legs.

Hmm, I like the idea of comfort, maybe I should investigate some concrete pants and go with the jersey idea. Thanks so much for the links, v helpful.

I have some block heel ankle boots with a dipped top line that may work with a stretchy skirt.

😳😃 concrete pants sounds a bit drastic op!
Good luck!