When you are only average looking

[YellowAardvark]

What can you do to improve yourself? I'm not saying this to put myself down, rather an objective assessment.

I am working on losing weight and spend much more on my hair and clothes than I used to, but am still feel only 6/10 tops. Having bad skin for hormonal reasons doesn't help.

Growing my hair out is helping I think, but could do with more ideas. What are your top tips?

Me too rightknockered . Shockingly women can be well read AND like to look attractive - shocker

I am also a voracious reader but like to look stylish and groomed, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

I don't think there are really ugly or plain people out there. Everybody has something nice about them.

I really dislike the try hard though, the too obvious contouring, the dark drawn on eyebrows.

Less is more, I firmly believe that.

Good brows
Bra
And
Hair
Topped with a smile and warm personality .

There are lots of plain people but ugly is quite rare I think.

Yes to hair and teeth. Plus simple things like ironing your clothes and wearing the right sized bra.

It's so rude when people assume that you must be an airhead to be interested in S&B. You don't hear it said about male interests, do you?

'Oh, you like F1, Jeff?' 'How vacuous. Watch the news instead'.

'Oh, you bought a new set of golf clubs, Nigel?' 'What about the Syrian refugees?'

Fuck. Off.

Ah, I think people got the wrong end of the stick: I meant that OP came on to S&B for S&B specific tips, not to be told to read a book!

I firmly believe I am both intelligent AND can adore clothes and makeup 😊

Nom

I was responding to ttbb's post implying that intelligence & 'prettiness' are mutually exclusive, Gah81. I think others were too (rather than picking up negatively on what you said).

Don't dust the mirrors in your house. It gives your reflection a lovely soft focus.

I agree with pp, don't be overly critical of your perceived flaws. Being comfortable in your own skin and confident is attractive in itself.

And stop marking your looks out of ten! Comparing yourself to others never helps.

I am extremely plain but managed to sort myself out in my 20s like kittykat
Eyebrows
Hair - not over groomed as this looks a bit mad
Teeth
A plain wardrobe of basics that work for your figure (for me slim fit trousers and loose shirts/jumpers and ankle boots)
And very light but well applied make up can make a huge difference. The responses in behaviours from everyone is massive.
And loose weight: clothes just hang better.

I'm sorry I can't help here cos I is like well gorgeous

Stop scoring yourself!!!

It's a good thing to aim to be fit, healthy and well presented but attractiveness has as much to do with personality as physical looks.

If you want to feel better about yourself, eat well, exercise, get enough sleep and invest in a good haircut and well fitting clothes.

The rest of it is just about smiling and projecting confidence.

catch22 😀

Ttbb Read some books? I would choose an intelligent person over a pretty one any day.

As someone who is both a published author and reads about 50 books a year I don't think I'd have any free time at all if I read anymore

This comment has actually hit a nerve for me as I honestly think that it is the idea that looks and intelligence are mutually exclusive that has held me back over the years in being confident about S&B - I was one of the "smart" girls, not one of the "pretty" girls as a teenager and used to perceive these two things like they were fixed.

All good tips everyone else, I feel a good shop coming ....

Pennywhistle you're right, I don't really score myself - I only meant it to describe my looks rather than how I actually think of myself

I would suggest 'getting your colours done ' and then wearing your very best ones as much as possible . The difference timbales is staggering .

Timbales. ??? Where did that come from ? * it makes

I agree Yellow - it's an entirely false dichotomy.

At school, I was the smart (but spotty) one. It didn't help that I was the scholarship girl at a very posh private school where everyone seemed tall and willowy. For a long time as a teenager, it seemed you could either be smart or stylish/gorgeous, but not both.

Happily, in my 20s I learnt that was not true. And that you can work in the geekier side of financial services but also take deep delight in beautiful clothes and makeup. I used to worry that people would think I was vacuous but now I have got older I worry less.

That's what makeup is for, my daughter in law who is a makeup expert totally transformed me.
She showed me how to apply the best foundation ever touche eclat le teintin a colour one shade darker than my usual anaemic ghost shade.
It covers all my blemishes, age spots and makes my skin look absolutely flawless at 55!
I finish it off with translucent powder on the T zone and some bronzer on cheeks and nose.
I agree re teeth and getting eyebrows professionally done.
I take great care of my teeth and am getting braces next month.

Oh, and eyebrow threading makes all the difference. I don't do manicures/massages/highlights/waxing but the one thing I will do is my eyebrows.

I also would not be without liquid eyeliner on the upper lids, i never use eyeliner on the lower eye, just on the upper looks better. It's amazing what a difference it makes. The only one I can use without making a mess is Barry M eye define liquid eyeliner, usuall brown or violet as I'm naturally blond.

Im not going to stop traffic so i focus on looking slim, healthy and well put together in flattering cut and colour clothes.
Dont know if I get it right all the time but I do have moments when I wonder what is it all for. I usually recover from that slump.

if thbb read more books they'd realise it's not either or. You can adore make up, fashion and all these things and still be smart and it is based on a discreditation of femininity and things typically associated with women/forces upon that this assumption exists. You'll see that women into fashion, make up etc are discredited but who is it cutting the huge checks and being taken most seriously in the industry? Men.

Fuck that. I spend a lot of time on my appearance. I have a lot of clothes. I'm into japanese/kitsch fashion. I am into social media. I change my hair a lot. Yet I am still more well read and cultured than those who spend so much time judging me for how vapid I am. You know, because women are totally not multi faceted. You are either a good woman, into books and culture and only wear a bit of eyeliner and vaseline and thus wife material, the madonna, or you're a shallow silly dumb bimbo whose eyeliner fumes have gone to her head, good for only sex - thus whore.

Fuck that dichotomy.

OP, experiment. Find what you like and have the confidence to wear it. Youtube make up and hair tutorials are your friend - don't spend out for classes. Find styles and aesthetics you admire