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Need to sort my self out and possibly a boot up the arse - has anyone managed to reinvent themselves?

9 replies

StressedTayto · 23/08/2017 00:26

Ugh this may be long sorry. I've also name changed because I'm mortified I've let myself go so much but pom bears, penis beaker, naice ham etc etc. I look like such a fucking mess. Think Shrek meets Hagrid meets Hurley from Lost.

I'm a single parent with 3 kids - one with very severe special needs. I work full time (and occasionally do some part time work on the side) so I have that magical combination of being tired, frazzled and stressed all the time. My ex husband left me for someone else when my youngest was tiny saying I wasn't pretty enough anymore and my self esteem is zero. I desperately want to feel better about myself but I have no idea where to start. Does anyone have any ideas?

I have just joined the gym and have started MFP because I want to get back to a 10 - 12. I've also started painting my nails because I was given some sparkly pink nail polish and I luffs it. I just feel so frumpy and bad about myself all the time. I'm 38 but look and feel at least 10 years older - someone at work was really shocked when I told her my age - she thought I was much older. I'm pale, have blue / green eyes and dark blonde hair that has patches of orange and is about 4 inches shorter than I'd like it to be (long story). I just don't know how to fix myself.

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
Itscurtainsforyou · 23/08/2017 00:37

Firstly, your ex sounds like an arse. I'm sure you're not a mess and even if you were it doesn't excuse such horrible things he said to you.

Secondly, it sounds like you're well on the way to losing weigh etc already. Can you book a session with a PT to get them to develop a training regime? It's a slow process but it will be worth it. I also recommend RH fitness on Facebook- good for support, motivation, tips etc.

What do you want to do about your hair? Grow it out? If you're short of cash you could offer to model for a training salon/local college for cheaper/free.

Good luck!

Snorfig · 23/08/2017 07:15

I can't imagine how tired you must be in your situation but you sound bloody inspirational and your kids will admire you so much.
When I was trying to get my... identity back after second baby, I found big chunky statement necklaces (charity shop) helped me feel more dressed. I then forced myself to start wearing earrings every day, once the baby hands were less grabby, as that felt like a normal piece of my old life back. I've finally got myself decent glasses (£69 for two pairs at spec savers) so I look like I SHOULD look, in my mind.
For clothes, if you're in the midst of losing weight, you mustn't feel you can't look nice in the meantime.
I use eBay - search for your current size, always set the search to 'Auction only' and 'ending soonest' so you can't fall in love with stuff and get over-invested, and you can hoover up beautiful clothes for 99p plus postage in the next hour or so. Makes a huge difference to self esteem, wearing something massively out of my price range bought for a bargain.
Good luck!

lasttimeround · 23/08/2017 07:41

Yes I've done it. Be gentle on yourself- your ex is an arse and many of us have awful times in our lives when appearance takes a back seat to fire fighting.

I look much better now but my daughter has a severe LD. There was a time I didn't recognise myself. Tired, overweight, dressed in tat. Just chaos was my life and I looked it.

First steps for me - a good haircut. Buying some new easy make up. Just a foundation and replacing mascara and lipstick.

Clothes wise. I love the eBay suggestion above but I imagine I would have got lost. I bought a small but easy uniform when losing weight but no money. T shirts and long sleeve tops in my colours ( having laboriously worked this out online) from primark. The cotton ones in the right size and enough to cope with the fact that my daughter smeared me almost every meal. 2 well fitting jeans. Some cardis. You'll need some work things too but with a bit of thought you can put together a really small wardrobe for right now that will help you feel good. The idea above buying some good necklaces or other accessories to put on top is wise. Buy replaceable (cheap) clothes and spend on accessories shoes bag coat scarf to lift what are really simple outfits. Then you csn plan what you want for longer term without being in the dictation that every time you see your reflection you feel discouraged. Doing your nails etc any pampering is also great.

bingohandjob · 23/08/2017 08:00

You sound like you're juggling a million and one things and keeping it all going - amazing Flowers I second the suggestion on eBay - it was my gateway, when I had very little disposable income (not that I think spending your own money on things that make you feel good is 'disposable' but when bills and mortgage are priority...) I was able to pick up good quality clothes and try more different styles that appealed to me via eBay. I set strict limits and would often just stick a max bid on what I'd be willing to spend and just leave it and not worry if I didn't get it. Ended getting lovely, flattering Hobbs, Boden, Jaeger, Linea items for couple of quid and I could experiment with my style. I also went "fantasy" shopping - trying on stuff to see what suited me and what size I was in certain brands then taking myself for a coffee, jotting it down then setting up items to follow on eBay. Probably my biggest expenditure these days is getting my hair done every 2 months as for me it really makes a difference to how I feel but even in my leaner salary days I saved for this by going to my local FE college - takes much longer, but the trainees are supervised and is fraction of cost and I'd often get a manicure thrown in if the beauticians were there!

If you can grab a few hours to yourself, also worth booking in for a few make over lesson at e.g. John Lewis or Debenhams etc - you can be really honest with them and say you have X amount to spend or at the moment you're looking for ideas before spending and don't feel pressured to buy.

In terms of feeling better inside, I recently drastically cut back on sugar and the positive difference in my energy levels, sleep and how I feel is remarkable. I cut out "treats" (biscuits, snacks, cakes) etc, feed my sweet tooth with frozen berries instead.

Again, if you can grab an hour - go for a walk, listen to music you love or an interesting podcast and it'll reinvigorate your mind and your own sense of self. If you can't go for a walk due to your home commitments, stick headphones on loud and dance in your living room - I know it sounds stupid, but I think music is life affirming and joyous.

imjessie · 23/08/2017 08:08

I have a son with moderate sn and I don't work and I'm completely frazzled most of the time !! .. so I think you are amazing!! I would join weight watchers if you can afford it as it's the only way I've been able to lose weight since having my son 6 years ago!

GrabbyMcGrabby · 23/08/2017 08:17

You're an inspiration. Flowers Wow. No idea how you manage all that.

How about getting an amazing face cream? I have just got the M&S overnight one that promises to make you look like you've had eight hours sleep even if you haven't! I have tried it overnight and am really impressed with results. Haven't looked at online reviews. My local store said was flying off shelves. Am hoping it will help long term. Have a makeover and get some fab, simple makeup for everyday.

So, can you get to a hairdresser and get colour sorted? Highlights on blonde are easy to maintain. You can get paint in temp root touch ups which are good. Can you wear hair up? To transition it while you grow it? Is your hair in good condition? Fizzy hair looks older. I have just found so.e amazing products which don't leave my hair crispy.

As for a look, why not try a stylist in a store? I found a lady in Debenhams who was great. Oxford St, so if a useful location let me know and i will find her name. Their clothes are reasonably priced if what you're looking for is transitional and if you find the right person they should really know their stuff. I tried John Lewis and they were awful. My experience at Debenhams was great and it was an easy, stress free way to get exactly what I wanted. No idea why I turned down the offer of free booze though.

Being a bit overweight myself I am careful to have fitted clothes on the good bits and loose where I am saggier. Also, never team two baggy items together. So palazzo pants and longish smock. No no. Palazzo pants and fitted denim jacket -yes. Smock with leggings.

Good luck. Take a moment or two every day to congratulate yourself on being amazing. Flowers

missfliss · 23/08/2017 08:41

I felt compelled to reply to your post. I really feel for you, you have such a lot going on, and so much responsibility on your poor shoulders. Sending hugs.FlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowersFlowers

The ex sounds like a wankpuffin, truly.

I have a tiny amount of the same challenges so can empathise well in some ways ( child with disability and full time work) but have none of the other challenges ( I.e absent partner) which must be a major factor in having time away from constant chaos and troubleshooting.

My honest suggestion is to tackle one thing at a time. Four suggestions, one at a time.

One - exercise and self esteem
My first suggestion is an odd one, in that it's not directly to tackle appearance but more to tackle your mental wellbeing and self esteem. This will help enormously as a foundation to tackle everything else.
I discovered the couch to 5k free app three years ago. I never ever believed I could run, but it has utterly changed my life. It's brilliant honestly. It starts you off running 1 minute run, 1 minute walk for short periods. It's totally achievable , easy to fit in ( say a 30 minute work lunch break) and aside from trainers and a phone needs no special equipment. I now run several days a week and the impact on my mental health is huge. Looking fitter is a side benefit.

Two - hair
You sound fed up with your hair. Get yourself off to a decent hairdresser, explain what you want to fit your lifestyle and get them to deliver a cut and colour that suits you and requires minimal maintenance. This can be sorted in a two hour appt. you will feel better, fast.

Skin
I use "The Ordinary" range on my tired 40 year old face. It's cheap, full of active ingredients and has made a HUGE difference. I'm not alone in this.
If it helps my 3 are: the buffet serum (every morning under a basic moisturiser) it's £12. Caffeine eye serum ( about £6) again in mornings. Retinoid 2% every evening (£6).

Clothes
Losing weight is tough. I second the eBay suggestions as an interim suggestion - aim I, for decent fabrics with structure ( I.e some stiffness and good cut).

Xxx

BurningBriquette · 23/08/2017 09:34

Have a big bunch of Flowers

So many fantastic suggestions above. The thing that helped me most (when going through a hard period) was making steps to slowly lift my self esteem. It is tough and it sounds like you are already doing so well with the gym. I find yoga and meditation really help. Somehow it lifts the spirit, and adds to physical strength. I like slow and steady yoga - like vini or hatha. It doesn't have to cost a fortune. Your gym might offer it as part of your membership or a local hall or school might have drop in classes. Or there are a few good dvds and books which are handy for when DCs in bed.

For meditation I bought a couple of books and downloaded some apps.

A hobby really helped me too. I signed up to an art type course - something I loved pre D.C.. But can be tricky with childcare.

Nice hair products might help too. I splashed out on a Bumble & Bumble curl primer with Boots points. I'd saved the points for an emergency. But thought one day - why not. It lasts 3 times as long as a cheaper product. Smells fantastic.

And second all of the above. Go to a fair few make up counters and get them to help. I look for the smiley people working who look kind and patient. If they are in any way abrasive I politely go somewhere else. Take away testers to experiment at home in different lights.

Style wise - if you are not sure what look you want yet trawl things like Pinterest and save your favourite looks in your own clothes board. You can then add to it, and use it for inspiration when shopping.

Sample sales can be good for new clothes. Sometimes large brands hire a big Town Hall or similar and sell off past season stuff or samples. Hit and miss price wise but some bargains to be had. Look for clothes swap events too (tho often in eve and can be difficult with childcare).

Sales - Boxing day online or even Christmas night for the better quality bargains. Like maybe one nice coat. But depends if you can face going online after a busy Christmas day. Christmas eve after 11am sales in shoe shops and similar. Sometimes they slash prices ready for opening after Christmas or to tempt last minute gift hunters. Plus this way you get in early and have choice of the better stuff. Come a day or two after the choice may be limited. Also go back towards the end of the sale period. Sometimes people return unwanted goods - and they go straight on the sale rail.

And finally some advice from my lovely old Granny who had at times a difficult life. 'Always have one good quality tidy coat, one good stylish pair of shoes, and a neat small handbag. No one will know what's underneath''. She also used to say 'A lick of beautiful lipstick and a bit of rouge on the cheeks will lift you up and arm you well'.

Good luck OP. You are doing brilliantly.

GrabbyMcGrabby · 23/08/2017 14:50

Just wanted to add, apart from you ex being a rotten , your work colleague is a bit of a cow and very unsympathetic. I am assuming she knows a bit about your personal circumstances. Anyway, more FlowersFlowers Let us know if we can help you more.

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