Black tie dress code for wedding

[Doobigetta]

Can I ask what everyone thinks of this idea? I really want to do it, my partner is less keen. The wedding won't be starting until 4pm, so it's not massively earlier than the "not before 6pm" rule. And we wouldn't dream of dictating that guests HAD to wear black tie- we'd word it along the lines of "the wedding party will be wearing black tie and you're very welcome to do the same if you'd like to". But my partner is worried that it would look odd (particularly in the photos) if some people were in tuxedoes and others were in ordinary lounge suits- as if they were at two different events. Has anyone seen this, and does it look strange?

My honest opinion is that black tie is a bit much to ask of your guests. Especially if you are in the UK where black tie isn't the norm for weddings. It's easy enough to find a nice dress for a wedding or to reuse something that you already have but not everyone has something suitable for black tie (men included) so puts a lot of pressure on. However, if this is something that you are dead set on then it would be better if all guests were dressed that way, I know I would feel self conscious if I'd gone all out black tie but nobody else had or vice versa

I'm afraid I agree that it might be a bit much to expect of people and whilst I understand what you're saying about not imposing it on people as a dress code, agree with your DH that it might look a bit odd if only some people are wearing it. Also agree with Squ1ggle that people not wearing it might feel uncomfortable and vice versa.

Weddings these days are usually quite expensive to attend so having to hire a suit etc, might just be an added financial stress for people. If you have your heart set on this though, maybe you could say absolutely no gift necessary and then people might be more inclined to spend on their outfit?!

Nice idea but not a great one, sorry. Just more faff and expense for your guests.

I totally agree that we don't want to make it an expensive event for our guests. We're already not doing a gift list, and if people insist we'll say a nice bottle of wine would be lovely, thank you. It's all in one venue, that's local to us, so as many guests as possible can go home at the end rather than needing a hotel. And it's city centre, so lots of budget hotels and transport options.
Poo. Seems like that idea's out, then. How about if just the wedding party wore it? Would that be weird as well?

Surely it looks no more strange than some people in morning dress and some in loung suits?

I think it depends on your circle. If most people you will invite will have their own dinner jacket then I think it's not over the top or peculiar. Most of our friends love an occasion to crack the black tie out at. If you're not from a circle where you attend those kind of events normally it might be an enormous faff for your guests and may cause expense or issues/embarrassment (I know someone who wore a lounge suit to a v smart wedding where all the men were in morning dress and felt very awkard and underdressed).

Have you run the idea by any of your friends who would be honest with you? They'd know better than a bunch of strangers.

My own personal opinion is that black tie is seriously naff. It really is not appropriate for a day time wedding in the UK.
But if you do want to do black tie, its your day, but it really must be an 'all or nothing' request. It will look seriously odd if some guests are and some are not wearing black tie.
Most men have a really good suit for weddings etc, then they have to go and hire an ill fitting, polyester monstrosity. Why?
Don't do it OP!
But I hope you have a wonderful day.

I'm going to go against the grain and say I think it's a nice idea. I think it works especially well for winter weddings and I've heard of people.stipulating evening dress/black tie. Only you know your friends and family though. Think honestly about whether they are the kind of crowd who will be receptive to this kind of thing or not. Maybe test reaction in a few before you go the whole hog.

Nouveau, I regret to report that I do not move in the kind of circles where evening dress ownership is a given. This does hurt me .
All the women I've run it by love the idea because they want to see their partner looking like Bond. But I can see your point, A1.

I had a black tie wedding - it was in November so and a late afternoon wedding. I would have thought it was easy for all the men I know to get hold of a dinner jacket for the evening and gave my girlfriend a chance to dress up!

I think it would be more strange if it was a summer wedding and I also only think it works if everyone is wearing it (not just wedding party).

Wedding had the feeling of a special evening do and it felt "right" with the dark closing in early. I too was a bit worried about breaching the pre-6pm rule but was assured it was fine. And any expense on the attire was made back on the free bar we provided!!

Girlfriends even

I went to a black tie wedding at Christmas. It was lovely. A bright chilly day so we all wore very glamorous wraps over our dresses for the church and then had a lovely evening party back at the hotel which was decorated for Christmas. Bridesmaids wore long red dresses, the bride was in ivory and they all had cream (fake) fur jackets. Most of the men were in dinner suits, but the few who didn't wore lounge suits with "evening" ties (M & S do them). The room was low level lit and had lovely candle decorations on the tables, and they had a Rat Pack style big band. It all gave the feeling of being at a lovely glamorous party in the 1920's or 30's and was one of the best weddings I've been to!

It's a lovely idea. I did similar, for my evening wedding, but worded it as something like "please feel free to dress up/wear evening dress" (I can't really remember exactly now, it was a long time ago). It was important to me to give them choice, I wanted people to be comfortable.

The men just wore normal suits, but the women and girls said they were thrilled to have a chance to wear 'fancy' clothes for a change. Not many weddings in my group, I guess. Many of the older generation wore long dresses and looked wonderful.

Go for it. The most important thing is that everyone has a good day.