How to dress in your 30s

[Notanightbird]

I used to be quite stylish pre kids, I worked in a fashion related job and found it easy to find things that suited me. I feel so stuck in a rut now. I have looked at some recent photos and I'm often in a raincoat and jeans, baggy jumper etc looking a mess. Have small children and am in my mid 30s and I just don't know what works any more. I like simple, stylish clothe she like Toast and Zara, a few things from H and M, John Lewis etc but it has to be comfortable and fairly durable. I would also like to look a bit cooler or more interesting if that is possible!! I am slim, a size 10, but with a bit of a tummy. Any tips?!

Ahh this is very familiar!! I'm in a similar position, although I feel like I've made some improvements recently. The craziness of post-partum hair hasn't helped either, but hopefully it's on the turn now.

Some ideas that have helped me:

• Spend as much as it takes to find the right jeans - I've had some great cheap pairs from New Look in the past but couldn't find what I wanted there or anywhere else, and ended up with some Hush boyfriend jeans that I'm wearing the heck out of. They were £75, more than I'd normally spend on jeans, but I figure I'll wear them a LOT more than I'd wear a wedding outfit, for example, which I'd readily spend that or more on.
• Up your bra game. I did Boob or Bust and am now wedded to the Fantasie Rebecca (32FF, FWIW!) - my boobs look sooo much better than in my nursing bras and crucially, stay in one place...
• Spend big on the right coats - I splurged on an All Saints Cargo last year and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. It goes with everything and I love wearing it. I also have a beloved Didriksons winter parka (I'm not saying it's the epitome of style, but it looks good and is warm and waterproof); a Protected Species mac in black for work (life-changing); and a double-breasted woollen peacoat-type coat from Whistles with a detachable fur collar that gets a lot of wear in A/W. Basically, as a parent of young children, you're probably spending a shitload of time standing outside so outerwear matters.
• Um that's it really. Get your eyebrows tinted and threaded? I'm scraping the barrel now, although actually that does makes a difference.

Also, try & Other Stories - it's like a more grown-up, less jumble sale-esque H&M.

Do you need office-type work clothes too?

Thanks, those are good ideas. Mostly home clothes- live in a city and work very part time from home.

Also, what kind of hair/hairstyle do you have? My hair's changed quite a bit since I've had kids - it's much thinner, not as curly and has a hell of a lot more grey...on the plus side. As it's thinner and not so curly I'm now able to wear it in more of a chin-length bob, and am actually feeling a teeny bit more chic because of it.

I like following blogs like this thefashionguitar.com to get an idea of colours/styles then I recreate them in cheaper shops. The blogger is a mum in her thirties... but she wears Chanel and Dior

What do you like? AKA who are you now? I had a total fashion rethink after DC2 - I was older (mid 30s), busier and just less sorted in my life than I had ever been before. This meant, for me, that I had to move away from the Jackson Pollock "throw colour at this" approach to fashion and into something more minimalist and streamlined. I risked looking like a crazy bag lady if I carried on. So I found a core wardrobe of neutrals (navy/black/grey for me with a bit of camel in the right shade) and then added colour in shirts and jumpers but only in silhouettes that are simple and streamlined. I shop mainly in the sale and also have a bit of a shoe habit that brightens up my outfits. I still have to fight the urge to buy ruffles/patterns/bright pink dresses but I feel really happy with how put together I feel on 5 mins while dressing the kids etc. My go to shops are uniqlo, &otherstories, jigsaw, me&em, hush, Hudson for shoes, H&M etc... the expensive ones on that list strictly sale only.

I read some great advice about going fitted on one half & volume on the other which also helps me put outfits together e.g. Skinnies with baggy jumper, culottes with fitted fine knit...

Swimming, can you come and restyle my clothes? I fancy a neutral grown up wardrobe. Thanks

Wow Jaim I would love to! However I think it might be important for you to find your own silhouettes rather than me impose the ones that work for me. I am tall and have broad shoulders but a small bum so I need certain styles that might not work for you. What I would say is that if you find a pair of trousers or jumper that fit perfectly buy them in all the colours!

Sorry this is becoming a bit of a train of consciousness thread for me but what I realised, I think, is that the important thing is how the clothes look on you rather than on a model or in the shop window (pretty colours! Long legs!). The primary job of clothes after covering you up and keeping you warm/cold is to make youlook good... if they don't do that they are essentially shit, something I often forget if I spend too much time on instagram or Pinterest

I'm the opposite, short and large of bottom I like the idea of mixing volumes. I mix textures a lot but haven't tried with volume.

Who do you follow on instagram?

A nice hair cut and filed/polished nails makes me feel less skinny/messy. Even if I'm just in jeans and a jumper. Vaseline lips and eyebrows neat is enough to look decent I think without make-up.

I like esthermcoren, doesmybumlook40, caroline_joy but have been trying to detox because, actually, insta does not make me feel good about my life! I do love bodiposipanda for a bit of bopo inspiration!

I've got typical mum uniform and haven't got a clue whether it's cool or not. Basically skinny high waisted jeans in 6 colours, loads of basic v neck t-shirt tops in a range of colours, a few cardies, a few joules harbour tops, palmaira sandals, brown suede flat loafers and converse! I kinda think I look ok. Especially with threaded and tinted brows, shellac nails and recently highlighted hair!!! It's easy enough just to chuck any top on with any jeans and know that it will go!!!