Wearing a bikini...does anyone else feel like this?

[blueberrymojito]

Since having my DC 8years ago my stomach was left in an awful saggy mess, basically the area from my belly button down, and including my belly button, is just wrinkly and awful. I've only ever shown it to my DP (who obviously loves me whatever). I've never been confident to wear a bikini and so haven't for over 8 years.

I'm slim all over, eat healthily and exercise but no amount of exercise will improve the loose skin on my tummy and so I know the only way to get rid of it is to have a tummy tuck.

I'm going on holiday next week and instead of being happy I'm so fed up, I've bought some lovely swim suits, and I know they're more back in fashion now than they were but it's just not the same as wearing a bikini. I'm still in my twenties and I just want to feel liberated and happy on the beach in a bikini but my stomach is just awful and I'm so embarrassed.

No one would know from my figure and clothes but underneath its wrinkly and awful. I know we should celebrate our bodies but I'm really struggling to right now.

I'm sure looking lots of women feel the same, but here's the thing, trying a bikini on in a changing room or at home is a million miles away from wearing it on a beach on holiday. There will be people of all shapes and sizes, in swimwear with varying degrees of exposure, some feeling confident, others self conscious. I say take the bikini and see how you feel after the first day. Have fun!

Agree that you should take some bikinis and see how you feel out there. If you google 'fold down bikini bottoms' they are very flattering IMO.

No one is looking.

Tbh most women don't look good running about in their knickers. Especially when the knickers are wet and saggy. Board shorts much better.

I bet it isn't as bad as you think it is. Even if it is, who cares?

I can promise you I wouldn't notice your stomach, I highly doubt anyone else would either.

I've bought these this year. I have stretch marks and a wobbly stomach - I'm hoping these will cover enough to make me feel comfortable.

www.figleaves.com/uk/seafolly-pacifico-high-waisted-brief/SF-010014.html?dwvar_SF-010014_color=749513&cgid=#q=Seafolly&slots=1&sz=30&nolanding=true&start=51

Lots of high waisted bikinis on Asos.

I'm a firm believer of just wearing the sodding bikini, as said above there will be all sorts on holiday, and if anyone were looking at you and judging (which I doubt there will be), that's their issue, not yours. TBH if I noticed someone (else) with a saggy tummy the only thing I'd think is, 'oh, she's had children '. Not that bad, is it?

It seems a very English thing to be worried about swimwear, and many of the English I see abroad trying to cover up their perceived flaws often look so different by way of their swimwear, it highlights rather than hide them.

I'm slim with a wrinkly tummy. I'm with a pp on this, others will look at my belly and just think "oh, she's had kids", probably assisted by the fact that my kids will be my shadows anyway...

Take them, you'll see much worse sights, believe me.

I just wear a swimsuit. Tbh I don't care and wear a bikini too. Our bodies change when we grow babies. Fact of life and should not be something to be ashamed off. Real life isn't photoshop. Life is too short to worry, honestly.

Hey, I just wanted to sympathise and say I used to feel like this (even before I had my DD). But then when she was a few years old I suddenly thought, why do I care? She doesn't care what I look like and what message an I sending out to her by worrying. I then had my insensitive DH make a comment about my weight (which will haunt him until his dying day, I still won't let it drop about what a hurtful plonker he was), but anyway it had the reverse affect that he intended. I though F* you. My worth is more than what I look like I'm a bikini. I was at centre parcs and looked round at all the 'dad bods' (none of whom had grown a human and breast fed it etc etc, and though 'well what's their excuse?' But then I realised they didn't care what they looked like because society doesn't judge their worth on how they look in swim wear. And they were just enjoying swimming with their kids) So that just added fuel to my fire and sort of liberated me. And now I LOVE bikini and the beach and I just don't care (honestly). I even quite like the fact that I am not perfect. Because I love that I can just enjoy the sun and playing with DD and not care. It honestly is a massive mental shift, but I am so relived I made it.
Good luck OP, don't let western beauty Standard ideals ruin your holiday. Just role model confidence for your children (even more so if you have boys. Teach them what a real women's body looks like).
Have a great holiday

I used to feel like this when I was 16 and slender. Always felt ashamed of my body and I retrospect shouldn't have. Now in my 40s, 3 ginormobabies later and a good couple of stone over what I would consider bikini weight. And I am going to wear one this holiday anyway. I'll let you know how it goes 😂

I had a 30 day post about this last summer. I wore a bikini and it felt heavenly, that sunshine on my belly that has been hiding fir 8 years. I did feel conscious standing up, so I had a cover up for that but I felt great generally. No one batted an eyelid and I have shown my daughter that it's ok to be proud of an 'imperfect' body.

There seems to be lots of high waisted bikinis in fashion at the moment, I've just bought a couple from Pour Moi but I've seen them on ASOS and in New Look too. Might be a good compromise for you.

Wear your bikini but take a wrap/big scarf/kimono whatever with you. Just cover up until you lie down then whip it off. No-one will be able to tell.

Great post ploppy, you're so right about men not getting this sort of grief.

OP I'm exactly the same (although not as slim!) - my belly area is horribly marked and wrinkled and no amount of high waisted bottoms will disguise that. I tried to hide in a tankini last year but it was so hot where we were that I cracked and bought a bikini. I don't look great in it but I was so much more comfortable and nobody ran away screaming and covering their eyes .

The way I see it our bodies grew and nurtured our beautiful DC, that's what's important, but I do totally get how you feel.

How old are your dc? Mine's still bad and wrinkly - but I'm a week off youngest dcs 4th birthday and I have noticed it is still improving very gradually. Gives me slight hope - I went to Portugal last year and initially felt the same as you in my one piece then ended up in a skimpy string bikini with thong bottoms on the beach Would never do that at home but it felt fine there.

Sorry just seen it's 8 years. I bet it looks better now than it did straight after birth!

Perhaps my belly is not as wrinkly as yours, but it's far from perfect after having a child, and I wear a bikini. At first it was high waisted. Now less so.

What taybert said, it is sooo different standing on a glorious hot beach surrounded by people having fun to standing two feet away from a changing room mirror staring critically at yourself!

People in hot countries seem less hung up on the whole body/swimwear issue too which is a big help once you're there - they don't seem to behave in that self-critical way on the beach we do, sucking their tummies in or wearing sarongs etc. I think they see it as more like we might see gym gear, they just put on something that fits them, does the job and that they like and away they go.

Whoever above said no ones bothered is so right- unless you are going on an 18-30 in Marbs or a place full of Wags, then you'll be with women who feel similar to yourself , and slim all over is something I'll be aspiring to :)

I'm a size 10 age 46 and I work out most days , but I've still got cellulite and dimples . Still planning on a bikini tho' if I can sort out my untamed bikini line by September :)

If I can do it (got a stone to lose!) then you can!! What you can't see in this photo is my massive smile!!

My belly button is so sunken, and the skin is really wrinkly and I have a keloid scar from surgery too, but I have always felt so trapped in a costume. I'll never wear one again now! It was liberating! Go for it!!

That is an awesome photo, virtual cheer from here. OP I hope you can get that confidence.

Radiofrequency skin tightening has totally got rid of my puckered wrinkled skin around and below my belly button - it's all smooth again. I wore a bikini for the first time in years in June - tummy still sticks out a bit but it was the puckering that I couldn't stand.

Yup I'm past caring! I'm a wibbly size 16/18 but I've started wearing shorts in the summer and bikinis on holiday after 15-20 years of trying to hide my post-DCs body.

I realised on holiday that the one person around the pool who looked the most uncomfortable was a young slim gorgeous girl who was obviously very self conscious and kept checking herself, her hair, whether her bikini was on straight, checking her make up. Everyone else, fat, thin or in between, was just enjoying the sunshine.

My tummy looks so much better when it's a bit brown so I'm happy to get it out. Even went topless last year

I wear high waisted pants but I'm fat,
I bet most women on the beach will be jealous of your slim figure.