How can I improve myself?

[OrangeFurryCat]

First post on mumsnet!

I'm 44 and looking back on photos from when I was 40, there's a sense of 'life' that's now missing.

I don't ever feel completely 'well' or healthy. I look pretty knackered and older than 44. I sleep badly, my periods are frequent (perimenopause?), I don't eat too well and never exercise. My hair is wrong for me, too long and drags my face down, my skin is lifeless and I'm about half a stone overweight. I'm sure with a bit of effort, I can look better.

Now that I'm finished work for the summer hols, I want to make some changes that'll mean I go back to work looking a bit better and healthier.

But I don't know where to start. And thought I'd ask for a bit of advice please.

Lose weight - how? Calorie counting, cut out sugar, sw, ww etc? I've only put on 7lbs since I looked ok.

Hair cut - don't want to do that until weight is off and I know what I want there.

Lifeless skin - ?

Exercise - I'm joining a gym tomorrow. What kind of exercise? Swimming, weights, Pilates? I think I need to tone as well as lose weight. I walk a lot and my job is active (teaching).

Friends have suggested colonic irrigation - is that worth it? Facials? Don't want to go down any cosmetic route yet e.g. Botox

My clothes are ok, they suit me and I go for regular nails done etc.

Advice on looking less knackered and less old for my age!

Give up teaching, it's exhausting! I've just lost 2st since January on SW, reluctant to go back as it didn't work last time but is now. I'm starting to feel so much better. I've not had the haircut yet, might wait until late in the summer when I've got a tan to maximise me feeling better. I joined the gym in January too but realise I much prefer being outdoors, so I cycle, jog and walk. I've started wearing wedges to give me less of a frumpy look if out and about. Went for a makeover in MAC to learn a few tips and tricks, who knew you could use powder to make your eyebrows look so much better!! (ps teacher, but supply now : )
I'm having a rough time with my wider family and decided that I couldn't change them but I could make me feel more positive about myself. It's working, get on it and good luck x

Frequent periods would make me think that low iron could be contributing to your tiredness and poor quality sleep. Perhaps have your bloods done.

Agree with PP who said teaching is exhausting.

I sleep badly I don't eat too well and never exercise

These are the main things to address as without them you are never going to feel your best.

If you want to lose weight - drink plenty of water throughout the day (I'm a teacher too and know how difficult it can be to drink enough water during the school day). If you hate water, try herbal teas (you can drink them cold in summer) or diluted fruit juice. Cut down on tea and coffee, especially if you drink them with sugar or full fat milk. Also cut down on alcohol and fizzy drinks. Try to eat three meals a day and either no snacks or just two "set" snacks (mid morning and between lunch and dinner). Increase your portions of vegetables and lean protein to fill up.

Hair cut - a trim and a blowdry at a salon could perk you up? (I love getting my hair done but realise that not everyone does). Otherwise, maybe do a hair mask at home now you have a little more time? I like the Garnier Original Remedies one which smells of honey. It costs 3€ here for a 250ml pot (I've got long, slightly dry hair and the pot lasts me maybe 10-12 washes).

Lifeless skin - drinking water and more and more varied fruits and vegetables will help this, as will getting more / a better quality of sleep. Consider downloading a meditation / chill out app to do for 10 mins. before bed if you struggle to fall asleep.

Exercise - do what you enjoy! I would suggest trying out a few different classes. Swimming is a good holistic workout that may help you to sleep better.

I have a PT at the gym and am looking to lose weight and tone so he recommended an hour long session to do:

10 min warm up on the treadmill, uphill at speed 3.5
20 min on the bike
10 min on the rowing machine
10 min on the cross trainer
10 min warm down on the treadmill

Plus stretches after

I alternate this with swimming and Zumba! And I can finally see definition in my muscles!

For your hair I would recommend looking for a salon with high reviews and not a chain salon as I find standards tend to slip there (I.e tony & guy, rush, ect)

For sleep I take nytol which doesn't knock me out but makes sure my rest is proper rest where I am fully asleep and it's made me feel so much better!

For your skin I would recommend looking into kheils skin care, particularly their avacado eye cream! It's amazing.

I would also recommend looking at glowy, natural or dewy finished products, such as luminious aramani foundation as matte products can age you quite a bit! (I am an MUA so if you need anymore recommendations just ask)

I hope this is helpful! And remember you're beautiful and even a work in progress can be a work of art xx

Also agree with water being an essential! I went from drinking none to drinking two litres a day and my skin, hair and body are so much better now!

Thanks everyone!

Giving up teaching isn't an option 😀! Although you all have a point, when I was 40 I wasn't teaching and looked better!

My haemoglobin is just normal but serum ferritin is a ridiculous 4! I was taking iron tablets but ran out and the dr didn't want to retest my blood as I felt ok. I'm sure it is low again though. So a trip to the dr on Monday. My nails show the signs of iron deficiency anaemia, white and brittle.

More water - definitely, and it's easier now because I don't drink enough during the school day due to not being able to go to the toilet when I want! So as of tomorrow more water.

I think the weight loss should be easy enough, it's only 7 - 10lbs. I can up the protein and lose the refined carbs.

The gym - I don't love the gym at all! I like outdoor stuff, walking and cycling etc so that should be ok. I think I'll swim for toning benefits though. Thanks user - that workout looks doable for the days I could fancy the gym.

My hair definitely needs a good cut and that will happen by the end of the holidays. I love getting it cut/coloured etc.

I am a pretty positive person and I don't feel my clothes are frumpy, just my face and body!

Make up - I am ok in a sort of early 2000s way! I'd love this dewy, smooth skin that people seem to have - is that foundation or highlighter? I currently use a bb cream which is ok, but something glowier and dewier (making up words now!) would be good. I also struggle with making my eyes look current and have decided this look is better on younger skin. Could it work for me? I use nude base on eyes, darker socket and highlighter below eyebrows which are filled in lightly and combed (the shape is ok).

Really appreciate all of the advice!

I've had colonic irrigation done twice, I don't think it is worth the money, I would rather spend it on having a relaxing massage instead. I am looking into doing this after my holiday though, if that doesn't appeal there are lots of different options and editorial features on the Victoria Health site.

In terms of a face lifting makeover, I picked up some useful tips on youtube video and would recommend the Speed Beauty videos generally.

One word Mirena

Living a period free life is amazing and really helped my energy levels dizzy spells and exhaustion

Btw I'm 44 too

And of course it will help your iron levels in the meantime take iron

hi
buy a silk pillow case - no more bed face creases and it leaves your hair quite tidy
and well done for at least looking for improvements good luckx

I wouldnt be depending on teaching being an active job for exer ise. Im a teacher and l know you are on your feet all day but not physical work. I do circuit training and like that its short and focused as l get bored.
Definitely iron levels need checking.
You will easily lose 7lbs if increase exercise and cut out snacking.

Vitamins-magnesium makes me feel better and iron. Peppermint tea is the best for weight loss as it makes me go to the toilet , also find an exercise you enjoy and listen to some guided meditation, there's some good ones on youtube

Spatone iron sachets are good; you can buy them in Boots. They are an almost tasteless shot of liquid (slightly metallic tang) which you can add to a small cup of juice first thing in the mornings. My mum and I and other friends have taken them for years and everyone rates them highly. I have not had any side effects from them myself or heard of any. Depending on how low your iron is, you can take one every day or on alternate days.

Spider - I have no need for contraception and don't fancy having a coil fitted if I'm honest!

I will get some vitamins - hadn't thought of supplements like magnesium. Cutting down on tea (although I only drink about 4 cups with skimmed milk) and will start drinking peppermint/herbal.

Spatone sounds like a good option as he iron tablets upset my tummy a bit and I alternated between diarrhoea and constipation last time I took them.

Off to watch the video now thank you!

Exercise will make a massive difference. Could you join a running club, if you like outdoor exercise? There is no better cardio exercise.

(7 lb is nothing, by the way)

At the gym, try body attack classes. Can you get an instructor or a PT to show you how to use kettlebells? That's a really effective and quick way to tone up.

If you are moving more, you will naturally want to eat better. Also, if you are out running you're not on the sofa eating junk food!

My quick fix, when I look a bit washed out, is sticking a subtle facial fake tanner on overnight. I look much better the next day.

Good luck.

I'd get your haircut now, always an instant boost, get a new fresh style, it always remotivates myself to step up looking after myself., why wait?! Definitely sort out iron levels, frequent periods will be depleting your levels. To look less knackered perfect the art of doing nothing, seriously don't have a manic to do list all the time, stretch, do yoga, anything that relaxes and soothes. As for losing half a stone, easy just a few tweaks to your diet should do it, 3 balanced nutritious meals a day, no snacks, plenty of water. I think the main thing is if you look tired then you need to do less and be gentle with yourself whilst your body rests and recovers not undertake an aggressive exercise regime.