Save me from the frump!

[UnconsideredTrifles]

I'm 28, my body is just back to normal post baby (thank you hyperthyroid) and I've realised it's time to change how I look. I've always been massively influenced by DM, which has meant no makeup, long hair in a plait and clothes that are about 50 years too old for me and I am SICK of it.

I've just had my hair cut to shoulder length. I'm buying straighteners this afternoon ("Oh, I wouldn't" says DM. Well, I WOULD. I'm sick of looking like Hermione Granger in first year).

What else would you stylish people suggest? I need ideas and advice because it is DEFINITELY time for a change.

Got a bit side tracked by your DM, surely at your age she has no input in your looks?

When I was a teen, DM conspired to make me look very...ehm, how to say this, "Christian"

So yeah, I never got a boyfriend (with my long skirt, baggy blouses, big specs and seriously side parted hair and regular sunday School attendance), but from age 16 her input dwindled and I started wearing mini skirts etc...(and no longer go to church)

Fascinated by your background, are you also form a churchy family? or do they just like to look that way?

Anyway, you'll just have to browse lots of websites and see what styles you like. For me it changes every couple of years, right now I like Hush (casual, wearable clothes, a bit trendy but nothing too out-there. Proper trendy people would probably find Hush frumpy)

A more budget option: I find lots of nice things at H&M, the shop (not the website), is there any near you?

You'd think she wouldn't, Ruby, but learning to disagree with her doesn't come naturally! You guessed right about the church-going - but since nobody else dressed like that I think it may be personal taste... (I should add, DM is lovely and we have a great relationship - I'm just having a VERY delayed teenage rebellion...)

Thanks for the suggestions, I'll have a look :-)

If you're doing a full makeover, it's a good time to start reading The Spike, which has just cracked on with quite an engaging capsule wardrobe guide. It's not the prettiest or easiest blog to navigate but good recommendations in there at the mo if you're starting from scratch.

Hope you end up looking like sexy grown-up Emma Watson and say goodbye to dodgy Hermione!

After spending my maternity leave in frumpwear I treated myself to a Colour me beautiful session. It told me what colours suited me. Very useful for going in shops and selecting what I liked within my palette.

Pinterest is great for outfit inspiration. If I see something that I like I try to buy the whole outfit otherwise I end up with lots of tops and only jeans to go with them.

Start with some lovely underwear. I'm also just back to normal after second pregnancy and after 4 years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding I was desperate to ditch the maternity bras. I've just bought some pretty and properly fitting bras and I feel so much better. My posture has improved and all my clothes look better.

My next goal is to find some jeans that fit well but that seems to be an impossible task!

A few piercings and tattoos shouldn't go amiss?!

Honestly it's not 'a great relationship' if she discourages you, even with subtle digs.

Consider a session with a personal stylist at a department store.
Makeover or make-up lesson to learn the basics and see what can be achieved.
Browse fashion blogs for ideas.

A few piercings and tattoos shouldn't go amiss?!

Go full on cyber steampunk goth.

And then invite your mother over for tea and cake.

Eyebrow threading
Good bra (look at the BOB FB page)
Well-fitting jeans
Some comfortable but not fugly shoes

Get yourself on Pinterest and do a few searches 'summer outfits' etc.

I love Pinterest for fashion. I have a ton of clothes and am not frumpy and no one has told me what to wear since I was about 10, but I still find it helpful

If you have an item of clothing you do like you can put that in Pinterest search and you will get loads of ideas how to style it.

Go for it!

Great advice above, but if an oldie S&B vet may make a tentative suggestion? Please look, a lot, at pictures and decide what looks you like. Often the clothes you have will be useful basics, and all you need is a word... colour, texture, reflection, length, to send what you already own in a new direction. Quite often, it's the layering effect of colour and pattern and shape that makes one outfit look the million bucks, but you need to get your eye in.

Silhouette too, close fitting tops, wide bottom half, or vice versa.

Go to the shops and try on lots of clothes. You're not there to buy but to find out what suits you and what styles you like. Have fun

Tidy eyebrows, clean un-chipped nails, groomed hair and ironed clothes make a huge difference.

Find a style that suits you and most importantly that you like. If you feel good, you walk taller and are just more confident and that always shows.

I love dresses so almost always wear them. Good for you for breaking out of a style that's been moulded for you, enjoy finding your style.

(FWIW I'm a Christian and am actually pretty stylish )

In a similar situation I went to debenhams for a personal shopper.

I know debenhams is frowned upon here. But it meant good honest dispassionate guidance from someone who was good with colour, understood how different shapes work on people and had no preconceived ideas about what I should or shouldn't be wearing.

I picked up some great ideas and took them eith me shopping elsewhere having bough jeans and a top and being given an idea on lipstick colour.

Thank you all, some really good ideas here! Just had the first post-baby night out, and I was definitely walking taller with the new hairstyle (and heels!)