Help with Style and what is beauty?

[user1498937810]

Hi, I am a mum to 4 kids, eldest is 22 and youngest is 2, parenting them alone (hate single parent phrase). I know that I can look pretty, but I forgot where and how to start. I probably grown lazy and being constantly tired and on the run doesn't help matters.
I feel like there is no point in doing something about my looks, and generally would rather read or learn something new than do something about it. But, I turned 40 last week and it feels like things needs addressing.
What should I do, where should I start? How do you manage to incorporate your beauty routine? Pretty please, atm I look like Nanny McPhee.
Also I am on a large side and balding.... Is there any hope

Take one thing, and tackle that first. I think maybe start with your hair? Get a nice colour and cut, it can make a huge difference to how you feel about yourself.
Look at youtube make up tutorials by Lisa Eldridge for easy to follow beauty ideas. I use her simple every day make up video.
Try Pinterest for clothes, there are lots of pinboards with great inspiration to find your "style".

I just went through this sort of thing a few months ago. I started from the point of what do I need my 'style' to do - for example it would be pointless me deciding I wanted to wear soft floaty dresses because my lifestyle is far from soft floaty dresses (though I wish)

The next thing I thought about was what I wanted to feel like - I wanted to feel comfortable and not like my clothes were wearing me if you see what I mean. I'm a bit more of a background person so I wasn't going to be all statement pieces and capsule wardrobes. Finally I experimented a bit - I love charity shops for this reason, it's not a nightmare to try out different styles and you get lots of different styles all in one place. Does that help?

Thank you ladies,
I watched Lisa Eldridge video yesterday! Managed to do the massage.

Regarding the imagining the finished article (myself that is), I am not that sure... I know exactly what you mean Anycakeisgoodcake! But I am struggling with envisaging myself, I think this is the main problem.
I am a musician, and used to teach piano at university level. That was before I had my youngest daughter and before my separation. I had a reasonably comfortable lifestyle and my wardrobe reflected my personality and status. Now, I am a teaching assistant, as I needed to reorganise my life when my youngest child was born and my marriage broke down. Since my job is 5 min away from my house I am hiding behind a school coat, hide my awful hair under the hat, wear leggings and up to very recently was wearing my maternity dresses, which were pretty disgusting and terribly unflattering.
The issue is whilst I absolutely love doing what I do, mentally I am stuck in my previous persona. I still can't get my head around my daily routine, I am constantly working, whether at home or at school. I am on my feet from 6 am till 11 pm. Weekends are equally busy and I must admit I feel so tired that weekends I just do the choirs and wear what I can find. This too leads to unhealthy relationship with food and naturally all is reflected in my huge frame.

I guess, I am still in transitional period with everything that went in the past, so I should probably take it slow, I just wish I looked a bit more like a woman and less like a mop.

Have you got a thyroid problem?

I had numerous tests done, but none shown issues with thyroid.
No one in my family line struggles with weight or hair loss, so it is a very lonely road for me.

you made that sound a bit more 'woo' than I intended, I just meant think about practicalities.

For example you need to walk to and from work so you need suitable clothes :)

Don't over complicate it, maybe find one thing like a top or style of trousers that you love and build your self esteem from there. You can totally do this!

YY to a good cut and colour.

How are your eyebrows? Having them shaped will help to frame your face.

What make up do you wear currently?

Don't do yourself down - I laughed out loud at 'more like a woman and less like a mop'. Making people laugh is a very attractive characteristic.

I agree about starting with a couple of quick wins that will give you an instant lift and help you get through some of the longer haul stuff. Hair sounds like a plan: a good cut can minimise the look of thinning hair while you (hopefully) sort out a solution to it. Personally I'd hold back for now on the colour as it can be a very expensive treadmill, hard to get off and might not help with the overall condition.

Another quick win would be to treat yourself to one fabulous thing e.g. coat / shoes / sucky-in jeans / sunglasses .... something that you would love, wear a lot (no saving for best) and that would put a spring in your step every time you wore it.

What are you like with wearing colour? I've never had my colours done but everyone I know who has, swears by it and it also seems to boost confidence.

I also love the transformative powers of lipstick: it costs a few quid but I instantly feel like a different person. (A pity I can't get it to stay on but hey).