How do I learn to love my curly hair?

[Blep]

I've struggled with it for most of my life.

I've tried the curly girl method but it's so difficult to stick to it or know what products are ok to use. Even when I managed to stick to it, I still felt like it looked awful. I even had it cut into a pixie cut once so that I wouldn't have to deal with it.

I've tried leaving it to dry naturally, and I've tried styling it. If I wear it down, it feels really messy and irritating. It also has a lot of volume which I don't want, because I just feel like it draws attention to how awful it looks.

I see other women with lovely curly hair, not frizzy or messy, how do they do it? :(

I hear you Blep, I am constanlty struggling with mine, as the years have gone on, mine has got worse and it seems to detest any weather condition . Any suggestions welcome!

My friend is a hairdresser and I booked a session with her once to get her to show me how to use curling iron etc properly.
It was great and. Ow I can have lovely curls whenever I want.
Occasionally still use my GHDs to straighten it all out.
I'm lucky though, once I style it, that's it, it'll stay in for a week.

I used to have curly hair and still miss it
I think that what you may see as messy, others see as gorgeous, bouncy hair.
There are loads of Pinterest examples of curly updos.
Bumble and Bumble curl creme is excellent and lasts for ages.

That and a brilliant diffuser

I feel your pain. It's the frizz that does it for me and the fact that even after washing it only looks OK for a few hours. Let me know if you find a solution.

I've been to hairdressers and asked for styles that would look good with my natural hair, but then they used straighteners to curl it anyway it looked good but I've never been able to recreate it at home:(

You need to find some products that work and stick with them.

I use by Palmer's Olive Oil Cowash, scrunch my wet hair with an old muslin cloth and then scrunch in some Trevor Sorbie Curl Cream (I clip the weird bit of my hair at the front that dries funny) and leave to dry. Once dry 'scrunch the crunch' with my fingers and then flip my head upside down and have a gentle ruffle through, bit of hairspray and I'm done. It's actually way less maintenance than when I used to straighten.

Worth getting a proper curl specialist to cut your hair, I go to Spring in Birmingham and would recommend Matt highly, it is expensive but for me only needs doing every 5 months.

I think you also have to get used to the fact that curly hair doesn't look as shiny as straight hair because of the way the light reflects off it.

Have you tried NYC products? Absolutely love them and have made such a difference to my curly hair. Can get them online. Have a look at the website 'NYC - know your curl'. I use the cleanser and conditioner 3/4 times a week, and always leave the conditioner in. The gel is also great. Gives me great curls and no more frizz.

CG method works wonders for me. I use tresemme botanique (used to be tresemme naturals) as a co-wash, with shea moisture sulphate free shampoo about once every 7-10 days when I think I need it. For styling I use the shea moisture Jamaican black castor oil leave in conditioner and a tiny bit of the coconut and hibiscus curl enhancer (although the cantu coconut curling cream does much the same and is much cheaper). I twist mine in small sections round my finger when it's soaking wet and then scrunch with a tiny bit of kinky curly curling custard (it's like a mild gel) to hold. Just leave to air dry and don't touch til it's dry. British Curlies is a fab website for getting really good hair products.

It really is worth persevering with the curly girl method. I use Sainsbury's coconut conditioner to scrub my scalp (cost less than £1 a bottle!) then tresseme botanique as my leave in (I leave lots of it in...hair literally saturated with it). I use eco gel to style (the green one, massive tub really cheap on Amazon).

Frizz means your hair needs moisture so leaving lots of conditioner in will really make a difference.

You might. Or if like me you never have, £150, a few hours, a competent hairdresser and wella straight or loreal xtenso will give you straight or wavy shiny hair that accepts a comb , doesnt get in the room before you do, takes five mins to straighten and lasts a year.

And then people will remember you, not a bushy frizzy mop.

Each to their own - but that's me.

I don't know the curly girl method, but I myself have v thick, curly and frizzy hair and this is what I've found works for me:

• regular haircut with layers to take out the weight (helps keep my curls bouncy and natural rather than straggly and knotted)

-never brush dry hair

• wash it at most every other day (sometimes every third day, but I live in the city where it tends to get quite dirty/greasy) with shampoo and then slather on conditioner - I then use a tangle teezer brush in the shower to get out any knots and spread the conditioner through nicely.
• leave to dry naturally. Basically while standing in the shower, before I get out i squeeze out excess water. I wrap my hair in a towel while dressing so it doesn't drip everywhere but generally avoid roughing it up with a Towel as I find this makes it more frizzy. Then when I'm ready I give it one last brush through to get rid of any straggly knotty bits, then while it's starting to dry I twirl sections with my fingers to encourage it to dry with a natural curl.

Mine's gone wavy and frizzy on the canopy over the years instead of the lovely ringlets I had as a teenager (it got a lot worse gradually through so many years on the pill). The underneath is still curly though, so I now use a Lee Stafford Chopstick Styler around the top, run fingers through and then I can ignore it for 3-4 days. It's so ridiculously hot that the curls stay in. You also kind of have to embrace the volume. Curly hair that's flat looks a bit greasy in my opinion.