Done a million times but grey or no

[PhyllisWig]

I am early 40s, fair with light brown/mousy hair which is warm toned.

I've been growing out the grey on and off for a couple of years. There is no chemical colour left but I did henna it last year.

There is still some henna colour but the top few inches is wholly natural and is about 40% grey. I have a couple of really striking white/grey streaks but mostly it's just salt and pepper.

The thing is, whist the white bits are lovely, the rest of it is meh. My natural hair colour has always been a bit bland anyway and I just think it looks scruffy. I am a natural scruff at the best of times even when I make a huge effort. Also my hair feels coarse (it's fine but plentiful. Straight with a few curls and kinks).

But but but, I love not dying it. I can't afford highlights or any other regular colour at the hairdressers and I feel kinda proud that I've got this far.

DH says that when I am having a good day it looks stunning but when I'm tired/unwell/stressed, it drags me down. My friends think I'm mad as does my mother who is still going strong with the blond highlights at 70.

I am really torn. What I want is something to blend in the grey with a bit of warmth and easy upkeep. The impossible.

Wwyd if you were me?

40s are way too young to go grey

Well as many of us start going grey in our twenties it seems not.

I went grey in my early 20s. 46 now. Stopped coloring two years ago. Love it. Got complimented today. Good haircut is a must plus purple shampoo. Mines white streaks at front. Salt and pepper at back.
It's better than grey roots by far.

Op having got so far, I would soldier on, even if it meant tying it up in a scarf until it had all grown out. All grey hair looks different and I just don't think you can tell what it's going to be like until you've got a whole head of it. Then you can decide. If you give up now, you'll be letting yourself in for a lifetime of faff and expense and you won't even know whether you needed to.

I'm closer to your mother's age than I am to yours and quite frankly, I would tell her to do one. And your friends.

That's if I've read your op right? Are you saying it's just the first few inches that are grey and the rest is henna'd?

I can't dye my hair as became allergic to hair dye, it's evenly streaked and around 50/50. I'm lucky in that my streaks are quite a bright silver and hairdresser complimented them. I had a young girl think I had had streaks put in.

The worst are other women all my sisters are horrified I have grey, well there is nothing I can do about it thanks. A guy asked me out to dinner a couple of weeks ago that I shared a table with in a busy cafe, can't be that bad surely.

I too have scruffy hair and am allergic to hair dye. I'm 58 and salt and pepper and I'm actually willing it to go grey/ white as it's so messy at the moment!

Ok I kinda caved. My mum was looking at it again today (as was a lovely random lady in Superdrug) and we all decided the issue is that I'm not grey enough, so I look faded rather than grey.

I decided I wanted to do something so I've chucked on an 8 wash semi perm - wasn't prepared to mess any more with the henna bits. It's evened it up a bit but is still quite dull.

I think once the henna is out I'll attempt it again, maybe have a good talk to my hairdresser about if I can bring it together with highlights.

I've just started going grey at 46. I love the steel grey look, especially with dark eye make-up, so that'll be my look in a few years. Have been lucky enough to get this far without needing to dye, so I've decided to not start now.

Liking this thread! Making me feel so much better about dithering to hear everyone's different opinions/experiences. So I put my Casting on tonight in Chocolate Caramel, which (on the box) looked lighter than my natural dark.
Still wet so hard to tell. Clearly I'm just going to slowly 'fade to grey' a la Visage I'm back to work Tue and chickened out a bit at the idea of going with an inch of white root but I think I might leave it now and make another executive decision by end of school year in July. Maybe have streaks put in over summer holidays.